Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!


Seems To Be A Few Fries Short Of A Happy Meal

| Durand, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

(I’m working front counter at a fast food restaurant. This was before the apples and other side options were introduced.)

Customer: “Can I please get two hamburger [Children’s Meals]?”

Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

Customer: “I don’t need a drink with those.”

Me: “Well, I have to add a drink if you want the meal.”

Customer: “Okay… just add a fountain drink.”

Me: “Okay, and were those for a boy or girl?”

Customer: *leans close and says quietly* “Oh, I don’t need toys with those.”

Me: *trying hard to not be completely deadpan* “You know, you can just order two hamburgers and two small fries. They’re the same size and it’ll be cheaper.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t know you could do that!”


Working Here Is A Brain Drain

| Bellevue, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Health & Body

(I am sweeping the store when I see one of our regulars standing on a grocery basket to reach a soda bottle on the top shelf.)

Me: “Can I help you get that down?”

Customer: “It’s okay; I’m lightweight.”

Me: “So is the basket’s construction.”

Customer: “Well, if it breaks I’ll buy it.”

(He gets down.)

Me: “I’m more worried you’ll fall and crack your head open… because guess who gets to clean THAT up?”

Customer: *laughs* “Brain cleanup in aisle eleven!”


Scammers Never Take A Holiday

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Popular

Customer: “Hi, can I get [Popular Holiday Beverage]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s only available during the holiday season. Can I get you something else?”

Customer: “Well, since you’re out of what I want, can I get some of those free drink coupons you give out?”

Me: “No, sir, literally no one has [Popular Holiday Beverage] right now. It’s April.”

Customer: *scanning menu board* “What about [Item he thinks sounds obscure]?”

Me: “It’s available in half pounds right here, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want that. I just hoped you’d give me some coupons ’cause you probably didn’t have it.”

(After he leaves:)

Coworker: “That’s like ordering a pony at McDonald’s, and demanding free stuff because they don’t have it. What the h***?”


Grant Me The Patience To Teach Them Patience

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular

(The store I work at does not have the conveyor belts at the registers like a lot of the more well-known stores, so there is very little counter space, and with people being in a big hurry all the time, customers who are next in line put some of their stuff up on the counter before I’m even done with the first customer. An older lady comes up, and is checking out, when another lady comes up behind her, and puts her item on the counter. With how close she is getting with the first customer, I assume they are related, or together, so I just keep doing my job. Customer #1 has just finished paying, and is getting her stuff together, getting ready to leave. While she is doing that, I go ahead and ring up Customer #2’s item. I tell her the total, and Customer #2 looks at Customer #1.)

Customer #2: “Excuse you, can you get out of the way? I’m trying to pay.”

(Customer #1 finishes what she was doing, and without saying anything, walks out the door. I now realizing they weren’t together and start getting annoyed at Customer #2’s attitude towards Customer #1.)

Customer #2: *glares at Customer #1 as she walks away and, when she turns back to me, she says annoyed, and rudely* “Can you believe some people? I don’t understand why people just stand there in the way when people are trying to pay.”

Me: “Well, you know, there is a way around that.”

Customer #2: “Really? What’s that?”

Me: “Patience.”

(She glared at me without saying anything while I handed her her receipt. I turned around and walked away, and then she left. It felt good putting her in her place.)


A Reaction Not To Be Sneezed At

| Roseville, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular

(I’ve been working at this store for ten years. I’m just getting over a cold, but I still have a small case of the sniffles. I’m ringing an older male customer up and I feel a sneeze coming on. Because I am still a little sick, I step back and sneeze, with my nose plugged, not once, not twice, but THREE times. After I sneeze the third time, I hear a loud slam, and see the older man with an angry look on his face. His hand is flat and it is clear he has slammed the little table next to the card reader.)


(As I wipe the brain lubricant away from my nose and sanitize my hands with a ton of hand sanitizer, I see three other customers, two moms with shocked looks and a teenage male who can’t stop laughing. I finish the customer’s order with enough anxiety to the point where I am about to faint. He snatches the bag of groceries away and immediately reports me. My manager comes up to me, gives me a five, and says:)

Manager: “You’re not in trouble. Take 15. Coffee’s on me.”

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