Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Can’t Keep Count Of The Account

| FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(This customer is part of a rewards program for the store and calls in immediately yelling with a list of complaints. He eventually says his main concern right now is that he got an email saying his password was being re-sent on the site and he didn’t want it to be.)

Me: “Okay. Well, I can delete your registration and give you your account number which you can use to create a new registration with the same account, so all your info will still be there.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for all of this or to go online. Can’t you just fix my password for me and I can hang up while you do it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It is against privacy laws for me to know your password. I cannot do that.”

Customer: “Then get me someone who can. Do you know how many accounts and passwords I have? If I have to do this all the time how can I live?”

When You Know It’s Time To Re-Tire

| Boston, MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(My car has suddenly died with no warning, and I manage to get it pulled to the side of the road before I lose momentum. I call AAA to request a tow, and, since it’s absolutely pouring and I’m on a street running through a park (no houses or shops), I sit in my car while I wait – for over an hour and a half. When the driver shows up, it’s the same guy who always comes to haul my car away when it misbehaves (now four times in three years), so we joke with each other a bit.)

Driver: “Man, if I’d known it was you sitting here waiting I would’ve told the last lady she could suck it!”

Me: *surprised* “Why? What was wrong with her car?”

Driver: “She called it in as multiple flat tires, and when I got there, you know what it was?”

Me: “No…?”

Driver: “They were just really bald and she was afraid to drive it in this rain! She had me tow her home!”

Me: “Let me guess. Luxury car.”

Driver: “Got it in one.”

(So, lady who wasted that guy’s time and made me even later for work, may you have an actual problem someday and have to wait – and wait – and WAIT!)

Can’t Put A Dollar Value On Such Stupidity

| Centereach, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a store that only sells items for $1. There are signs that everything is only $1 all around. This customer came up to me and pointed to one of the products.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, you can most certainly help me. I’m looking around and I don’t see any price tags.”

Me: “You do know what store this is right?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Dollar Store Name] and I’d like to know the name of this product.”

(I sighed and pointed to the sign that said that everything was a dollar.)

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that?”

Giving The Scammers Too Much Credit

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m the assistant of an accountant for a company that takes credit card numbers over the phone and processes them on another day. One customer’s credit card doesn’t go through so I call and leave a message saying I need verification and to call me back at the store’s number.)

Customer: “I’m calling back because of a message that my credit card payment didn’t go through.”

Me: “Yep, it happens. Sometimes we just write the number down incorrectly, Would you be able to verify your card number?”

Customer: “Well, how do I know you’re not a scammer?”

Me: “You called us, plus when I answered I said who we were.”

Customer: “But you could just be faking it to get my information.”

Me: “The invoice said you ordered [Thing] on [the date she got it] and [Coworker] took your order?”

Insufficient Data To Handle Any Alternative

| Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

(I work as tech support over the phone for an Internet company. I cannot get the customer’s modem back online and need to book a technician to get the service up and running. Unfortunately it’s a Friday, and the next available tech isn’t until Monday.)

Customer: “Well, this is just great! Now I’m going to have to use my cell phone to watch movies all weekend, and that’s going to use up all my data! You need to give me a credit to cover my extra data usage!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the ability to give you a credit for your cell phone data plan.”

Customer: “So now I won’t have Internet all weekend, and my data’s all going to get used up to watch movies!”

Me: “I do have you on the priority cancellation list, so they will call you if another appointment does open up before then. If it does, they’ll call you and make sure the time works for you; they won’t just come out without any notice. But of course I can’t guarantee a spot will open up.”

Customer: “That’s great, but what about my data?”

Me: “Well… You don’t have to watch movies on your cell phone.”

Customer: “No, I do! I don’t have any choice! My Internet’s down so the only way I have to watch movies is on my cell!”

Me: “No, I mean you don’t have to watch any movies.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I mean, I understand your Internet’s not working and if you watch movies on your cell it’ll be a big hit to your data plan. But you don’t have to actually watch movies.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I only have my cell. It’s the only connection that’s working right now.”

Me: “You don’t have to watch movies. You could do something else.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you mean.”