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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Not A Fan Of Your Coldness

| NB, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(A guest approaches the front desk early in the morning to check out. I greet him.)

Me: “Good morning! Checking out, I see; what’s the room number?”

Customer: “It’s room 115.”

Me: “Wonderful, Mr. [Customer], and did you enjoy your stay?”

Customer: “No, I did not, and I think I should be compensated.”

Me: “Oh? I’m so sorry to hear that; what was the problem you had?”

Customer: “There was no heat in the room! I froze all bloody night and barely got any sleep. Why should I have to pay for a room with no heat in February?”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that, sir. I will definitely have this taken care of right away. I just need to know exactly what the problem was. Was the heater running but not producing heat? Was the temperature display on the wall not working?”

Customer: “Oh no, everything was working. I just didn’t have heat.”

Me: “I don’t understand. Did you turn on the heat and increase the temperature and it get any warmer?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. I just pressed the button that said fan and a fan came on and it got cold so I went to bed.”

Me: “Okay… were you not able to turn the fan off or to turn the heat on?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t try.”

Me: “I see. Did you call the front desk to ask for assistance?”

Customer: “NO! I told you, I pressed the button that said fan, the fan came on and it got cold, so I just went to bed.”

Me: “So, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You slept in a room with a fully operational heater, you turned on the fan instead of the heater, made no attempts to correct your own error, and now you want a discount because you were cold.”

Customer: “Well, when you say it like that you make it sound like I’m an idiot.”

Exchanging Un-Pleasantries

| Auckland, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello love. I need US Dollars, please… I’m going on a family holiday to Italy then France.”

Me: “Ma’am, US Dollars cannot be used in those countries. Italy and France use the Euro.”

Customer: “NO, NO, NO! They use US Dollars; most countries use the US Dollar. It’s the most powerful money in the universe.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you, US Dollars are not used in those countries. You’ll end up exchanging it for Euros when you get there.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT MONEY IN OTHER COUNTRIES?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I work in a foreign currency exchange.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Would you like the Euros, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, you smart little cow, give me US Dollars or I will complain to your manager!”

Me: “All right then, ma’am.”

(I give the customer US Dollars for use in Europe.)

Customer: “Now, that wasn’t hard to do was it?”

Me: “No, ma’am, thank you for your business.”

(She returned three hours later with her son (who seemed extremely annoyed with his mother) and exchanged the US Dollars back to the local currency then into Euros.)

Something Fishy About That Meat

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A couple sit down at a table in my section:)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Our dinner feature is our Friday night fish fry. Tonight we have cod.”

Man: “Your special, what exactly is that?”

Me: “Our cod is four flaky fillets that comes with fries and coleslaw, but if you would like you can exchange that for any two sides.”

Man: “Where is that listed on the menu?”

Me: “Right here, sir.” *I point to the menu, where it says “Friday Fish Fry” in large letters and the man starts looking over where I had showed him*

Woman: “I’ll have the roast beef dinner.”

Man: *to his wife* “Did you get fish?”

Woman: “No, I got the beef.”

Man: *to me* “That beef, is it meat?”

Me: “Uhm, yes.”

Man: “Are you sure it’s meat, not fish?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “Why don’t you have fish?”

Me: “We do. The cod I told you about right here is fish.”

Man: “Are you sure that it is fish and not meat?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “All right. I’ll have that, as long as it’s not meat.”