Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer has called in about his cable tv bill. Several discounts have expired on his previous statement so I have added some recurring discounts back on and begin to review with him:)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got those two $5 discounts renewed and also added another one for $5, and all of those are good for an entire year. I see that your billed amount was for $95 but you can go ahead and just send us the $80. The computer will know it’s received the correct amount.”

Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and it didn’t change.”

Me: “Oh, are you looking at your online statement? Press the F5 button to refresh the page and amount will change.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer. My billing statement –” *I hear a flapping noise as a piece of paper is shaken towards the phone* “– DID NOT CHANGE.”

Me: “…You’re asking why the piece of paper you’re holding in your hand, a physical piece of paper that was mailed to you, didn’t change when I made adjustments to your account just now?”

Customer: “Yes! It still says $95!”

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‘X’ Marks The Stupid

, | NY, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work as part of the front desk staff at a medical office. In order to treat patients they must first sign consent forms, which can vary based on what procedure one is getting. Our standard forms have all the options and we mark where the patient must sign/initial with a red “X” to make it very clear, as well as informing the patient to sign anywhere they see these red “X”s.)

Patient: “Do I have to sign all of these?”

Me: “No, only where there’s a red ‘X.’”

Patient: “So all of these?”

Me: “No, there are only two red ‘X’s there. That’s where you sign.”

Patient: “So I don’t have to sign all of the other ones?”

Me: “No… Only where it’s indicated.”

(After returning the forms to me, I saw that she signed everywhere EXCEPT where I had told her to. I had to ask her to step back up the desk and then physically pointed out each place to sign.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work as a teller, and one of my jobs is to field phone calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]; this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m trying to make an online purchase with my debit card and it’s not working! I need you to fix this.”

Me: “Well, sir, it sounds like your card may be blocked. I can transfer—”

Customer: *interrupting* “No! This is a brand new card; I just got it today from the bank. Now they told me it would work, and it doesn’t!”

Me: “That’s odd, let me…”

Customer: “And another thing! How do you get away with issuing already expired cards?”

Me: “Well, sir, our temporary cards expire after a set time, but they are always good when issued.”

Customer: “No! This one says February 18th, right on there! Now today is the 24th, which means this is expired!”

Me: *face-palm* “Sir… all cards list the expiration date as month and year. That is February of 2018 listed on the card, and I assure you if you use that date you will be able to make your purchase.”

Customer: “That’s… that’s not what I was told! I was told this would expire this year!”

Me: “Yes, sir. The temporary card will. However it must have the same expiration date listed on it as the permanent card with the same number that is being mailed to you. I promise, February of 2018 will work.”

Customer: “Well… I suppose I’ll try it. But that’s darn foolish!” *click*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

Has No Beef With The Chicken

| Istanbul, Turkey | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We are tourists at a Turkish seafood and kebab place. After we place our order we complimented our waiter on his decent English. A few minutes later, we overhear our waiter at the next table:)

Customer: “What is in a kebab, because I only eat chicken.”

Waiter: “Then the chicken kebab would be perfect for you. It only has chicken and spices.”

Customer: “It doesn’t have beef in it, does it? Because I don’t eat beef.”

Waiter: *sighs* “There is NO beef. That’s only in the beef kebab.”

Customer: “I don’t eat lamb either. So there’s no lamb in the chicken kebab?”

Waiter: “No. Chicken kebab only has chicken and spices.”

Customer: “That sounds good. I’ll have that.”

(I share a look with the waiter as he passed my table. He at least grinned as I was trying hard not to choke on my appetizers from laughing.)

Thinking On The Box

| USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m a part-time employee at an electronics store, making minimum wage, where in-depth product training is non-existent. A customer in the software section hands me a large box of programming software, something I doubt anyone I work with understands, and asks me if it can do some sort of specific, technical thing. I look at the box and start to read it so I can try and answer his question when the customer snatches it from my hand and says:)

Customer: “I don’t need someone to read a box. I can do that myself.”

Me: “Have at it!” *walks away*

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