Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Not Even Remotely Thinking

| Ruidoso, NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(I work for a small shop in town. We get a few tourist high points a year. It’s a mountain town with a population of about 8,000. It’s only 20 minutes away from another town and about 45 minutes from a larger city.)

Customer: “How do you people live out here?”

Me: “What? What do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s so… remote.”

Me: “Oh, well, we have everything we need here. Also, there is larger city about 45 minutes away if we need something that we cannot find here. Besides, it’s beautiful here.”

Customer: “But… do you have electricity?”

Me: *looks at all the lights in the store, the electronic cash register and the neon sign outside, the lamp posts outside and the traffic lights* “Yes… yes, we do.”

Customer: “What about plumbing?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Positive?”

Customer: “What about [popular and huge hotel]? Do they have lights and toilets?”

Me: “Yes… everywhere here does. Literally, everywhere.”

Customer: “But… it’s so remote. How do they get the lights here?”

Me: “….wires and light poles?”

Customer: “But where do the wires come from?”

Me: “The nearest power station?”

Customer: “What about water?”

Me: “Pipes, and it would come from the nearest water treatment plant, which we have here.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand you people at all.”

Me: “Well, enjoy your stay…”

Customer: “Do the people here have cars?”

Me: “Have you seen cars since you have been here?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “There you go.”

Twice As Stupid

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work in a restaurant where we ‘twice fry’ our fries. We cut them ourselves then blanch them, a process of semi cooking them, then fry them to order later. They are listed on the menu as twice fried. We get an order on the screen that has the fried modified to say ‘once fried only.’)

Fry Cook: “Once fried? They want uncooked fries?”

Waitress: “That’s what they said. I tried to explain that would be a soggy, uncooked fry. They won’t listen.”

Fry Cook: “I can’t send that out.”

Sous Chef: “Just send out the regular fries and don’t say anything.”

Waitress: *coming back 30 minutes later* “Well, they loved their ‘once fried’ fries, and insisted they were soooo much better than our normal fries. They asked, how come we didn’t always make them like this?”

Needs To Be Schooled On The Internet

| VI, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I work for a school that offers online classes. A parent from Georgia calls with a very simple request:)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Parent: “Yes, I’m thinking of turning off the Internet up here at the house and I want to know if that’s going to affect my daughter’s online school?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I believe it might.”

Failed Aisle 101

| FL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work the floor at my store, tidying and stocking, so some variation of this event happens to me pretty much every day.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, how can I hel—”

Customer #2: “HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION!”

Me: “Uh, one second, I’m with this gue—”


Me: *giving them a stern look for interrupting, but eye-agreeing with the other customer that I’ll answer this question so the rude person goes away* “It’s right there on aisle 103.”

Customer #2: “104?”

Me: “103. Right there. You can see the green paper just down the aisle there.”

Customer #2: “104? 104?”

Me: “103.”

Customer #2: “Okay, 104.”

Me: “No, 103. Right. There. 104 does not have paper.”

Customer #2: “Oh, okay, 104. Thanks.” *walks off*

Customer #1: “Well… that was… interesting. You have a lot of patience. Good job. I almost snapped just watching. Anyway, I was going to ask you wha—”

Customer #2: *coming off aisle 104* “YOU TOLD ME WRONG! IT’S NOT ON 104. GET AN EDUCATION! YOU’RE AN IDIOT!” *storms off*

Customer #1: “…I’m so sorry.”

Not Ready For The Digit-al Age

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our customer references are eight digits long, which we need to find the customers on our system.)

Customer: “My reference is-” *gives six digits*

(I wait a couple of seconds.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I think the line may have cut out as that reference is a bit too short.”

Customer: “Do you really need me to read out the whole thing?”

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