Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop, Part 4

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We have two doughnuts that look the same but are filled with different fillings. The only way to tell is to look at the holes where the fillings are put in.)

Customer: “I’ll have the choc iced cream, and she’ll have the choc iced custard.”

Me: *holds up doughnut so she can see the filling* “Okay, the choc iced cream is white in the middle and the—”

Customer: “Why is it white?”

Customer’s Daughter: “It’s cream. You wanted the cream one. I’m getting custard.”

Customer: “Oh, it has cream in the middle?”

Customer’s Daughter: “You asked for the cream one.”

Customer: “I just wanted a plain one. It didn’t say that the choc iced cream had anything in it!”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Searched Pole To Pole

| IL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am working at the front desk at a local grocery store when a woman who is known for being difficult walks in. I say ‘good morning’ to her only to be ignored. I go back to what I was doing and about a minute later the woman is back at the front desk banging her hand on the counter.)

Me: “How can I help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “Where are your dried tomatoes? I have spent over twenty minutes looking all over this store and can’t find them!”

Me: “They are very easy to find. Go to aisle three, look for the big support pole in the middle of the isle, they are right across from the red fire extinguisher.”

Woman: “Come show me; I’ve looked EVERYWHERE in this store.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I am alone here right now. My coworker is on break. Let me find one of the stockers to help.”

Woman: “Never mind! I’ll find them myself…. Aisle three?”

Me: “Right, aisle three; look for the support pole.”

(She disappears for a couple of minutes, but returns empty handed and starts banging her hand on the counter again.)

Woman: “I looked EVERYWHERE and couldn’t find them! You should be ashamed you don’t know your store better!”

(By this time my coworker returned from break.)

Me: “Let me show you where they are, ma’am.”

(We walk to aisle three.)

Me: *I point up* “Aisle three.” *point to the fire extinguisher* “Red fire extinguisher on the big support pole.” *and point to the dried tomatoes* “Take your pick, ma’am.”

Woman: “This pole wasn’t here a minute ago!”

Declaration Of Independently Sourced

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, History

(I’m upstairs at the reference desk, fielding calls and helping patrons.)

Me: “Hello, this is [Library] Reference. Can I help you?”

Patron: “Where can I find the Declaration of Independence?”

Me: “Like the text?”

Patron: “No, like the real thing.”

Me: “Um, we don’t have the real thing, but we have a few copies of the text if that’s something you’re interested in getting? It’s all the same words, I promise.”

Patron: “But, like, do you have the actual paper?”

Me: “No, we don’t have the actual paper.”

Patron: “Where would I get that?”

Me: “In Washington.”

Patron: “Oh.” *hangs up*

Brings New Meaning To Internet Packets

| Gateshead, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(The customer has recently bought a laptop, and just opened it out of the box.)

Me: “So what exactly is your issue today?”

Customer: “There is something missing from the box.”

Me: “What exactly is in the box, sir?”

Customer: “Well, the laptop charger, battery, and the laptop itself is in there; however, there is no Internet from what I can see.”

Me: “There is no Internet in the box?”

Customer: “Yes, I was told it can connect to the Internet as soon as I get it.”

Me: “Do you have a router you can connect to?”

Customer: “What’s a router?”

Me: “Sir, you’re going to need to speak to an ISP in order to connect to the Internet.”

Customer: “This laptop is a waste of money; it should come with Internet.”

(Customer hangs up.)

Can’t Escape The Pull Of Stupidity

| GA, USA | Extra Stupid

(Our office has two sets of glass doors, both of which swing open like French doors. There are door handles on the outside leading in, and a push bar to get out. For some reason customers can not figure out how to get into the shop using the handle. I walk out of the office to bring some paper work down the hall to two more offices. While walking to the second office I see someone standing right in front of the office/shop doors. I make it back to the office doors, where the person is still standing.)

Customer: *who doesn’t realize I work there* “The doors are locked and the woman in there won’t get up to open the door.”

Me: “Well, she’s not getting up because the doors are not locked.”

Customer: “How do you know that’s why she won’t get up?”

Me: “Because I also work here, and I don’t get up when I know the door is unlocked.”

Customer: “If the door’s not locked, why won’t it open?”

Me: “Did you try pulling the door towards you to open it?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Go ahead and try that.”

(The customer pulls the door open.)

Customer: “…Oh.”

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