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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

O, Canaduh, Part 4

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

(It is a warm day in late June. The customer I am serving has a pronounced American accent.)

Me: “I couldn’t help noticing your accent. Where are you from?”

Customer: “Des Moines. It’s my first time in Canada.”

Me: “What do you think so far?”

Customer: “Well, I was a little shocked when we were flying in, actually.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “I was pretty surprised not to see snow.”

Me: “I think that Iowa and Ontario have a pretty similar climate. Is there snow on the ground there right now?”

Customer: “No, but this is CANADA.”

Related:
O, Canaduh, Part 3
O, Canaduh, Part 2
O, Canaduh

A Window To My Problems

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am a volunteer at a small charity thrift store. As there is a line at the cash, I am helping customers who want to see certain items while my coworker rings other people through.)

Customer: “Can I see that girl’s dress in the window?”

Me: “Sure! But just so you know, any items displayed in the windows can’t be sold until next week.”

Customer: “That’s fine; I just want to see what size it is.”

(I go to the window and start to retrieve the only girl’s dress there.)

Customer: “No, that’s the wrong one! I said I want the baby dress in the window!”

(There are two baby dresses in the window.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Which one would you like to see? There are two baby dresses.”

Customer: “The one in the window!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but which of the two in the window would you like to see?”

Customer: *agitated* “The one in the window!”

(I take one of the dresses at random.)

Me: “Was it this one?”

Customer: “No, the other one!”

Me: “The dress you wanted to see is sized for 24 months.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll buy it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but items in the window can’t be sold until next week.”

Customer: “Well, how could I know that? You said earlier that things in the window aren’t until next week but how could I know I couldn’t buy the dress?!”

(At this point my coworker saw me getting frustrated and took over, pretending to sympathize with her to get her out the door. Later, that same coworker informed me that she recognized the woman as a problem customer from her days working at the local grocery store but couldn’t find a way to warn me in time!)

Totally Estúpido, Part 2

, , | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I have a Hispanic name, but was born in raised in the United States; therefore, I have no accent. The phone rings and I’m the closest so I go to pick it up.)

Me: “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: *I try one more time before hanging up*

Customer: “English.”

Me: *in an overly enthusiastic voice* “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Non-Hispanic Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s better. I think I got the Spanish line when I first called.”

Their Stupidity Does Not Compute

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer was having some issues logging into her account on our website.)

Me: “First, click on the ‘sign in’ link.”

Customer: “I don’t see it!”

Me: “There’s a white ‘sign in’ button on the top right corner of our website.”

Customer: “I’m looking, I don’t see it!” *getting very frustrated*

Me: “It’s above our logo.”

Customer: “I know. It’s not there. I don’t see it!”

Me: “Are you on [OurWebsite].com?”

Customer: “…No.”

Me: “Are you at your computer right now?”

Customer: “…No.”

Don’t Listen And Lose Out

| Canton, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive-through on a late-night shift with one other manager. It’s slow, but we do get a few customers. A customer pulls up to the drive-through.)

Customer: “Hello? I’d like two [Sandwich], please, but I don’t see them on the menu.”

Manager: “Sorry about that, sir; they recently changed the name of the [Sandwich], which is probably why you didn’t see it. We still have it, it’s just called the [New Sandwich] now.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, that’s a shame. I’ll have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then.”

(My manager and I share a look, and I chime in, thinking he may have misheard my manager.)

Me: “We still have the [Sandwich], sir. It has just been renamed. Same bun, same toppings, same everything, just a new name.”

Customer: “Oooooh. Darn, that’s a real shame. Guess I have to have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then?”

(My manager shakes his head and puts the sandwiches through, and the customer takes them and drives off.)

Manager: “You know, that would have been funny if he hadn’t been through here the last two nights, and had the exact same problem.”

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