Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(An old woman walks up to my repair bench holding a large, older desktop tower.)

Me: “Hello there! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m having problems with my computer.”

Me: “That’s never fun. What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “I can’t connect my wireless mouse. I put it in the slot but it still doesn’t work.”

(I’m thinking this will be easy enough; maybe the adaptor is faulty. As I move the computer closer to me, however, I notice a loud rattling sound within the case, as if something has come loose.)

Me: “Well, it seems as if the USB ports are functioning fine. Do you have the mouse and adaptor with you?”

Customer: “I didn’t bring the mouse, and the adaptor thing is inside the computer.”

Me: *checking all USB ports* “I’m sorry ma’am, but nothing is plugged in. Would you want to try another mouse?”

Customer: *getting angry* “The adaptor is INSIDE the COMPUTER.”

Me: *suddenly realizing* “Ma’am… do you mean to tell me… the adaptor is inside the case?”

Customer: *now very angry* “OF COURSE it is INSIDE of the computer. I put it in the slot at the top like a coin machine, so WHY isn’t it WORKING?!”

Me: *looking at the top of the computer where there is a small hole just big enough to fit small objects inside* “Ma’am… that’s… that’s not how this works…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “ARE you KIDDING ME? Do you not know how computers work? I’m going somewhere else where the employees actually KNOW how to operate a computer!”

(She leaves, her computer rattling off into the distance.)

Coworker: “I’m not sure where she’s going but she’s not going to have much luck anywhere else.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 20
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18

Far Away From The Solution

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(I work in the IT Help Desk at a university.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re really far away from the microphone. I can’t hear you. Please repeat the info.”

Caller: *repeats info*

Me: “I just cannot hear you. You’re really far away.”

Caller: “Well, yeah, it’s a Skype call and I’m in Ireland, so of course it’s far away.”

Me: “…”

Oily Hair Changes

| Norfolk, VA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am a customer in a popular chain haircut place in a strip mall near my home when a customer walks in…)

Customer: “Do y’all do hair?”

Employee #1: *holding my hair, and a pair of scissors* “Yes. Yes, we do.”

Employee #2: *under her breath* “No, we just do oil changes here. Pull your car around back…”

The Key(board) To Making Great Beer

| IA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a computer store that does a lot of repairs. A customer comes in with a laptop they are having problems with.)

Customer: “Uh, I was cleaning my keyboard with some Windex and now it’s not working right.”

(We are slow, so I take the computer in back and pop the bottom plate off and am assaulted with the smell of stale beer. It had obviously been spilled on the keyboard and flowed down into the computer.)

Me: *after returning to the customer* “Are you sure it was just Windex that got on the keys?”

Customer: “Yah.”

Me: “What about the beer smell?”

Customer: “Oh, well, I was using the Windex to clean off the beer!”

Anything Goes Except Everything

, | Vantaa, Finland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(I work as a sales agent for an airline.)

Me: “[Airline], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “We’d like to go for a holiday somewhere.”

Me: “Okay, I can help you with that. What did you have in mind?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. Something would be nice.”

Me: “Okay, would you prefer a city destination or rather a beach destination?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Anything goes.”

Me: “Okay, how long a trip you were thinking? A weekend trip or maybe a longer trip, a week perhaps?”

Customer: “Well, anything goes.”

Me: *getting a bit frustrated already, but still trying something to start with* “Okay, do you have in mind when you’d like go for the trip?”

Customer: “Not really. Anything goes.”

Me: *frustrated, but still very polite* “Okay, how about you go for a nice weekend to Stockholm next weekend?”

Customer: “Well, actually we had a bit longer trip in mind and to some bit warmer destination. With a beach. And it has to be in September because that’s when we have our vacation.”

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