Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

He Bought It In Springfield

| Great Falls, MT, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Movies & TV, Technology

(I work at a call center, registering service plans for customers.)

Customer: “Can you help me set my TV up?”

Me: “I’m not tech support but I can give you the manufacturer’s number so they can help you. What is the brand of your TV?”

Customer: “Simpsons.”

Me: “Simpsons?”

Customer: “Simpsons. Like the TV show. S-A-M-S-U-N-G.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Simpsons.”

Me: “Samsung.”

Customer: “No! Simpsons! Can you not hear me correctly?”

Me: “Yeah, I did hear you. Let’s get you Simpsons’ number.”

Has Been Given “Alternative Facts” About Climate Change

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(A woman approaches my register and hands me four reusable grocery bags she has brought with her. I scan her groceries and start bagging them into the reusable bags.)

Woman: “What are you doing! Don’t put stuff directly in the bags! They’ll get dirty!”

(I stand confused for a moment, but she comes around and starts bagging items individually into plastic bags, then putting the plastic bags into the reusable bags. I follow her lead.)

Woman: “Honestly! You’d think they would have you better trained. EVERYONE uses cloth bags nowadays!”

Me: “I apologize. Most people use them because they are better for the environment.”

Woman: *smiling at me now* “Oh, I know. That’s why I bought them!”

Numb Thumb Dum Dum

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(A customer comes into the pharmacy and approaches the back desk.)

Pharmacist: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”

(The customer raises their hand and shows the pharmacist their hand, their thumb is blue and turning a dark colour.)

Customer: “Oh, hi. The other day I accidentally smacked my thumb with a hammer and it’s gone blue and I can’t feel anything… Should I go see a doctor?”

Get Your Fax Straight

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a furniture manufacturer. We send assembly guides with every order we ship out, but sometimes the warehouse misses one here and there. There are copies of the instructions for each product on our website, but most customers (no surprise) can’t find the button to bring them up. Because of this, when a customer calls in to say they didn’t get the assembly instructions, I usually don’t even mention that they are available on the website, and just offer to email them a PDF copy instead.)

Customer: “Hi, I ordered a [product] from you guys, but it didn’t come with instructions on how to put it together.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. I can email you over a copy. What is your email address?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay, we also have copies available on our website. I can walk you through how to find them. Are you near a computer?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that either. Can you just fax it to me?”

Me: “I can, sir, but this particular guide is 45 pages. I’m concerned that a fax of that size may not transmit properly and you may end up missing some pages. We really do recommend email for things like this whenever possible.”

Customer: “No, just fax it. If you email it to me, I’m just going to have to print out 45 pages, and I don’t want to do that.”

(Yes, I printed out the 45 page document and faxed it to him from our dinosaur fax machine. I wonder where he thought those 45 pieces of paper were going to come from.)

Should Have Had A Measure Of Common Sense

| Hickory, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I work in a shoe store, where we get some pretty unbelievable customers. My manager has just been approached by an elderly lady.)

Manager: “Welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not happy with these shoes.”

Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “I bought these at your store in [City an hour away]. The man measured my feet, but when I brought them home they didn’t fit! I need to return them.”

Manager: “Did you try them on when you bought them?”

Customer: “Of course not. He measured my feet.”

Manager: *after a pause* “Okay. So what size would you like instead?”

Customer: *now in a huff* “Well, why don’t you do your job and measure my feet and tell me!”

(My manager finds her some shoes, which she doesn’t try on, and rings her up before turning to me.)

Manager: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

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