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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Needs To Be Schooled On The Internet

| VI, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I work for a school that offers online classes. A parent from Georgia calls with a very simple request:)

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you today?”

Parent: “Yes, I’m thinking of turning off the Internet up here at the house and I want to know if that’s going to affect my daughter’s online school?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I believe it might.”

Failed Aisle 101

| FL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work the floor at my store, tidying and stocking, so some variation of this event happens to me pretty much every day.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

Me: “Sure, how can I hel—”

Customer #2: “HEY, I HAVE A QUESTION!”

Me: “Uh, one second, I’m with this gue—”

Customer #2: “WHERE IS THE GREEN PAPER?!”

Me: *giving them a stern look for interrupting, but eye-agreeing with the other customer that I’ll answer this question so the rude person goes away* “It’s right there on aisle 103.”

Customer #2: “104?”

Me: “103. Right there. You can see the green paper just down the aisle there.”

Customer #2: “104? 104?”

Me: “103.”

Customer #2: “Okay, 104.”

Me: “No, 103. Right. There. 104 does not have paper.”

Customer #2: “Oh, okay, 104. Thanks.” *walks off*

Customer #1: “Well… that was… interesting. You have a lot of patience. Good job. I almost snapped just watching. Anyway, I was going to ask you wha—”

Customer #2: *coming off aisle 104* “YOU TOLD ME WRONG! IT’S NOT ON 104. GET AN EDUCATION! YOU’RE AN IDIOT!” *storms off*

Customer #1: “…I’m so sorry.”

Not Ready For The Digit-al Age

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Our customer references are eight digits long, which we need to find the customers on our system.)

Customer: “My reference is-” *gives six digits*

(I wait a couple of seconds.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I think the line may have cut out as that reference is a bit too short.”

Customer: “Do you really need me to read out the whole thing?”

You’re Bean Unreasonable

| KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work drive-thru in a Mexican restaurant.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I want a burrito; I’m a vegetarian.”

Me: “Well, we have a vegetarian burrito that would be perfect.”

Customer: “What’s in it?”

Me: “It has beans—”

Customer: “NO! I don’t eat beans. They’re cooked in animal juices. Don’t you know anything about vegetarians?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, our beans are just made with spices and water; no animal juices.”

Customer: “Oh, my god, never mind. If you don’t want to co-operate I’m just gonna go to McDonald’s!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m a cashier at a grocery store. I’ve just run up this customer’s items and she slides a card through the EFTPOS. I get a ‘do not honor’ error on my screen. For whatever reason, sometimes our machines give us this error if someone enters the wrong PIN.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you try that again, please?”

(She slides it through again and I see she’s selecting credit, not debit, so it can’t be the incorrect PIN. I get the error message again.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but it’s not going through. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “Oh, sure!”

(She turns to her husband, who dutifully spreads out like a deck of cards at least 15 credit and debit cards. I stare, mouth agape, as she carefully chooses one and slides it through.)

Me: “Uh… well, that one worked.”

Customer: *laughs* “Of course it did! When you run out of money on one, you just move on to the next card in line!”

(Her husband nods and they gather up their groceries. The next customer comes up and shakes her head.)

Customer #2: “I feel sorry for the poor card rep who’ll have to explain to those idiots that money isn’t free when they’re $300,000 in debt.”

Me: “Amen, sister.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38

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