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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

These Customers Have Totally Checked Out

| Fargo, ND, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(The customer returns $680 worth of purses.)

Me: “Okay… so that will be $680 going back onto your Visa card.”

Customer: “I can’t have cash?”

Me: “No, we can only do returns in the way that you made the purchase and it says here that you used your Visa card.”

Customer: “I just want the cash.”

Me: “I can only give you your money back in the way you paid. So $680 will be going back onto your Visa card.”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid and calls her husband over*

Husband: “She just wants cash.”

Me: “Yes, well, if she had paid in cash I would be able to do that, but since she used her Visa card the money will be transferred back onto that account.”

Customer: “So, they are going to send me a check?”

Me: “No, the money just gets transferred back into your account.”

Husband: “But she already paid that.”

Me: “Exactly, and now that we are doing the return she will be getting that money back on her account.”

Husband: “So, they are going to be sending her a check.”

Me: “No, it will be transferred onto her Visa card.”

Husband: *looks at wife* “They will just send you a check.”

Me: “Okay… here’s your receipt. Thank you.”

This Is Why You Question Their Knowledge Of Questions

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule

(I’m at a very busy convention listening to a guest panel.)

Panelist: “Okay, we’re going to open the floor for questions now, but let me warn you: we’re short on time, so I only want short, one-sentence QUESTIONS, okay? No background, no long life stories. Just ask your question and go. Everyone understand?”

Audience: *nods and murmurs their agreement*

Panelist: “You all get it? Questions ONLY. You learned the difference between questions and statements in kindergarten so I’m trusting you all to be smart about this. Again, everyone understands, QUESTIONS ONLY?”

Audience: *laughs and shouts YES*

Panelist: “Okay, first question.”

Audience Member: “Hi! I’m from Colorado and I’ve been a huge fan of your work since I was a little kid…”

Panelist: *puts head in hands* “NEXT!”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13

| Renton, WA, USA | Extra Stupid

(This is during Memorial Day, and our store is closing early for the holiday. I answer the phone at the front desk, frequently while assisting customers. This happens while I’m assisting someone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]; we close at six pm. How may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Is this [Store]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “What time do you close?”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 10