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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Can’t Follow Her Train Of Thought

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a board game about trains, and there’s tickets…”

Me: “Oh, Ticket To Ride?”

Customer: “No. In the game, you collect these tickets for different routes, and you used these colored trains to connect the routes…”

Me: “That’s Ticket To Ride. It’s actually one of my favorites—”

Customer: “It’s NOT Ticket To Ride. But in the game, the different tickets are worth a certain amount of points, and the further the routes are from one another, the more points the ticket is worth…”

Me: “Hold on.”

(I grab a copy of ‘Ticket To Ride’ off the shelf and show it to her, with the name of the game facing me. An image of the game’s board is printed on the back.)

Me: “Is this the game you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Yes!” *grabs the game*

Me: “This is Ticket To Ride. ”

Customer: “Oh, then this isn’t it.” *drops it back onto the counter*

Doesn’t Think Deeply Enough

| UK | Extra Stupid

(The customer comes up to the counter, and speaks to my colleague.)

Customer: “Hi, I know this is a really stupid question…”

Colleague: “Okay.” *chuckling* “Go ahead.”

Customer: “How long a piece of rope will I need to drop a crab net?”

Colleague: *pauses* “Um, well, how deep is the water you’re dropping it into?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know. Good point. Never mind.”

This Customer Gets Her Own Dedicated Plaque

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid

Customer: “I’m picking up laminating.”

Me: “Okay, what name is it under?”

Customer: “[Customer Name].”

(I look in the filing system and don’t see any order forms filed under her name.)

Me: “Is there another name it might be under?”

Customer: “[Customer Name].”

Me: “So there aren’t any orders under either of those names. Is there a different name you might have given us when you dropped it off?”

Customer: “No, you called me.”

Me: “Right, but I don’t see it here, so I was just wondering if you gave us a different name.”

Customer: *slowly and condescendingly* “[Customer Name].”

(I ignore the obvious rude and ignorant tone, and proceed to look through ALL files, to see if it was filed wrong. I don’t see the order form anywhere.)

Me: “And it was laminating?”

Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

Me: “I’m asking you what you had done. You had something laminated?”

Customer: “YOU CALLED ME AND SAID IT WAS READY!”

Me: “I understand that. But I don’t see anything here under that name, so I’m trying to narrow down why I don’t see it. Was it laminating?”

Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

(I then look in all the bins and read all the stickers on them to see if we lost the order form, but the order is still in a bin. Nothing.)

Me: “Did someone else pick it up already, maybe?”

Customer: “You called me today! I don’t understand why this is so hard! It’s just a picture!”

Me: “A laminated picture?” *finally realizing she probably meant plaque mounting* “Was it plaqued?”

Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

Me: “I’m not asking for the name, I’m asking if you had it plaque mounted.”

Customer: “[Customer Name]!”

(I look in the area where we keep the plaque mounted pictures, and sure enough, her order is there.)

Me: “It was plaque mounted, not laminated. That’s why I couldn’t find it. They’re in a different spot.”

Customer: “You called me earlier today.”

(I don’t even try anymore. I get her to sign that it was picked up, and say nothing else to her.)