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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Should Have Left At Right

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Because of the snow outside, I have been spending most of my time mopping up what has melted in my section. I start on the aisle with printer ink and paper when a customer approaches me in the middle of said aisle.)

Customer: “Where is your printer ink?”

Me: *points to their left*

Customer: “Oh… where’s your printer paper?”

Me: *points to their right*

Customer: *turns red* “You’re going to make fun of me when I leave, aren’t you?”

Me: “No, but there’s a very good chance that I’ll submit this to notalwaysright.com!”

At A Complete Price Loss

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a clothing store popular with teens and young adults. While we are in the middle of our biggest sale of the year, all prices are CLEARLY marked. Some items are marked with a percentage while others have an actual dollar value. There is no sign anywhere in the store saying that everything is 40% off.)

Customer: “So, are the denim jackets 40% off?”

Me: “I’m not sure, but I can check for you if you’d like to bring one up.”

Customer: “But the sign said they were 40% off.”

Me: “Oh, the sign right above the jacket? The,n yes, that would be the price. But if you’d like, I can double-check that for you on the register.”

(Customer walks away, looking around for a moment before bringing up one of the jackets. I scan it and tell him the price.)

Me: “It’s going to be $32.”

Customer: “But the sign says $35…”

Me: “It must be mis-signed. The register says it’s $32.”

Customer: “But the sign says $35.”

Me: “Yes, but you’ll only have to pay $32. We probably just missed the sign when the prices changed.”

(At this, the customer gives me a confused look before taking the jacket and walking away to put it up before walking out of the store.)

Icy Receptions

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Vanilla latte.”

Me: “Would you like that hot or iced?”

Customer #1: *blank stare*

Me: “Ma’am? Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Medium.”

Me: “Okay, medium vanilla latte. Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Sarah.”

Me: *it clicks* “Oh, your name is Sarah. Okay, is this hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “I don’t need a receipt.” *begins attempting to swipe card*

(I give up, total the order, and write her name on a hot cup. The next customer approaches.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Large caramel latte.”

Me: “Is this hot or iced?”

Customer #2: “Phillip.” *begins to swipe card*

Coworker: “And so sets the tone of the day.”

(The first customer comes back in.)

Customer #1: “EXCUSE ME, I WANTED THIS ICED!”

Me: “Of course you did.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I take a catering order over the phone.)

Me: “Would you like to pay tomorrow when you pick it up or would you like to give me a credit card number now?”

Customer: “I’ll give you my credit card number.”

(She gives me her number.)

Customer: “And could I have the total?”

Me: “Well, I actually have only written the order down. If you really need the total now I can ring in your order but it will take a moment. You’d have to hold or I’d have to call you back.”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to have the total, obviously, if I’m going to be charged for it today. You know, I can’t just have charges to my card without knowing how much it will be.”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, the charge won’t go through until the day of. Your number will just be attached to your order in our system and the charge will be applied after we ensure that you get your order.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want it to be stored in the system. That’s not safe! Never mind, I’ll just pay for it tomorrow!”

Me: “…Well, that’s fine, too! It may just take a minute or so for you to be rung out tomorrow if it’s busy when you arrive to pick up your order, just so you know.”

(I decided not to bother clarifying that she had just given me her number which I wrote down, or that our systems were obviously designed to encrypt credit card numbers so that they could not be stolen, considering we were a business that dealt with thousands of credit cards daily, OR that every single credit card, including the one she would use the next day, was stored in our system anyway in order for us to receive customers’ payments because that’s how credit cards work.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 39
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 38

Code Red

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer comes in with his son to purchase Xbox currency. At our store, whenever someone buys any DLC (downloadable codes) a screen pops up on our pin-pad that lets the customer know they cannot return DLC once it’s purchased and to verify that it’s the correct item for the correct system. We also voice what the pad says, to save the customer time from reading it. The customer must hit accept before we can continue the purchase.)

Me: “Okay! All that’s left is to hit accept on the pad, which is just letting you know once you purchase this item, you can’t return it.”

Customer: “But I haven’t swiped my debit card yet…”

Me: *confused* “No, this is for the currency that you are buying. We have a policy where you can’t return it since it’s just a code, and we just need you to accept that you understand that.”

Customer: “But… I haven’t swiped my debit card yet.”

(His tone of voice by this point makes it sound like he thinks I’m dumb and don’t understand what he’s saying.)

Me: “Right, we haven’t gotten that far yet. Before you can pay for it, you need to accept this message here, as I said.”

(He continued to tell me the same thing, until his son chimed in and told him what he needed to do. We were finally able to finalize the transactions. The kicker? He came back the next day trying to return the code saying it wasn’t working. After my manager called our customer service number, who told us the code had been redeemed, the son told his dad that they had already redeemed the code. The father looked pissed and left in a huff.)

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