Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Time To Call It A Night…

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

(We are a 24-hour fast-food place and have a special menu from midnight to four am that is displayed both inside and beside the speaker box outside.)

Customer: “What time does your midnight to four am menu start?”

Me: “It starts at midnight and ends at four am.”

Customer: “Can I get [food item not on menu]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re currently not selling that item. We’re on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “What?! When did that start?!”

Me: “The MIDNIGHT to FOUR AM menu starts at MIDNIGHT and lasts until FOUR AM.”

Customer: “So I can’t get [food item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no. We only sell the items on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “When does the midnight menu stop? I want [food item]!”

Me: *bangs head on cash register*

(Unfortunately, I have this conversation at LEAST three times a night.)

Just Copy And Paste Your Answer

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Copy center, thanks for holding!”

Customer: “Is this the copy center?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

Customer: “And you makes copies?!”

Me: “…”

Doesn’t Know One’s (Gas) Station

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer comes in and asks to use the phone to call a cab.)

Customer: “Can I get a taxi to the [Wrong Name] on Kingsway.”

Me: “Sir, this isn’t [Wrong Name], That’s down the street. This is [Our Name].”

Customer: “No, it’s not. Are you sure?”

Me: “Well I DO work here, unless I’ve been coming to work at the wrong place. You DID walk past the name about 20 times, but if you don’t believe me, that’s completely fine.”

(20 minutes later, a taxi comes in for fuel.)

Customer: “What took you so long? They said five or ten minutes!”

Taxi Driver: “Nope. No call for here, but there was a call for [Wrong Name] and nobody was there.”

Customer: “…Oh. I guess he was right. Can I still get a ride?”

No Pain For This Refill

| Allentown, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

Pinot No No

| Lake District, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work on the bar of a small restaurant that attracts a lot of upscale clientele. Our selection of wines is large for the size of the business, but we only have eight that we do by the glass (the house wines). A well-dressed gentleman aged around fifty approaches.)

Me: “Good evening, sir.”

Customer: “I’ll have a small glass of Pinot Grigio.”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have a Pinot by the glass. We do have a dry Italian white that is similar, though.”

Customer: *as though I’d slapped him across the face* “What kind of place is this? I’ve never heard of a restaurant not having a house Pinot Grigio. What else do you have?”

Me: “We have the Italian white, which as I said is similar to a Pinot grape, as well as Sauvignon Blanc and Chardonnay.”

Customer: “But you do sell Pinot Grigio?”

Me: “By the bottle, yes. It’s £18.95.”

Customer: “Then I’ll have a small glass of that. How hard is that to understand?”

Me: *losing patience* “We do not sell that particular wine by the glass, sir. If I open the bottle, I am required to charge you for the entire bottle and not just one glass. What I can serve you by the glass is this particular dry white –” *picking up the bottle* “– which is the most similar to a Pinot Grigio we have.”

Customer: *sighs* “Fine, I’ll try that one.”

(I pour him a small glass of the Italian white. He proceeds to aerate the wine as though he is a professional wine taster, before smelling it, sipping it and smiling.)

Customer: “Yes, this is a lovely Pinot Grigio. I’ll take a bottle, please.”

Me: *head-bangs the wall after he leaves*

Page 85/391First...8384858687...Last