Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Getting Cheesed Off With The Salad

| The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Excuse me, what is the difference between the chicken salad and the cheese salad?”

Me: “Well… the chicken salad comes with chicken, and the cheese salad comes with cheese.”

Customer: “I see. You should really put that on the menu, you know, it’s very confusing.”

Can’t See The Gravity Of The Situation

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Part of my duties as an optician is fitting and adjusting eyeglass frames. One day, a woman comes in to get her frames adjusted. I look everything over and the fit looks fine.)

Me: “What problem are you having with the fit?”

Customer: “Gravity is pulling down on one side more than the other and making the frames crooked.”

If I Tell You, Will You Go Away?

, | VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I am sitting behind an older couple at a restaurant/bar. There is a sign on the wall that says “I.I.T.Y.W.Y.B.M.A.D”, an acronym that says “If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?”. The joke is that people are supposed to ask what it stands for, followed by the waitress saying “If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?”. The woman, unaware of the joke, flags down the waitress.)

Woman: “Excuse me. What does that stand for?”

Waitress: “If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?”

Woman: “No.”

Waitress: “…”

Man: “It’s a joke. That is the acronym.”

Woman: “What?”

Man: “’I.I.T.Y.W.Y.B.M.A.D’ is an acronym for ‘If I tell you will you buy me a drink?’.”

Woman: “I don’t get it.”

It’s Been A Long Day Exactly

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Time

(I’m sitting on reception when two ladies come to check in. I check them in and everything is fine until I start telling them the hotel information.)

Me: “The bar is open 24 hours for hotel guests.”

Guest #1: *looks at me shocked…* “Only 24 hours? But we are here four nights.”

Me: *looking at her dumbfounded and speechless*

Guest #2: “Don’t… don’t worry about her… We had a long trip… We’ll be going up to our room now.”

Brick For Brains

, | NJ, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Time

(I work at a fast food place that’s across the street from what used to be an empty lot. Recently construction has begun on a new building so there’s now lots of construction materials and signs posted around the place. On this day I’m on the opening shift, helping to set everything up in back. We hear someone trying to open our locked front entrance.)

Manager: “We’ll be open in another 15 minutes, sir.”

(The person outside continues to struggle with the door, while the manager and I share a look as the lights are all off and our opening times are clearly sign posted on the door (I know, I know, expecting customers to read and all that). Eventually however, the customer seems to take the hint and gives up so we think nothing more of it… until we both hear a thunderous BANG! against the door. It’s quickly followed by another one, and the sound of glass cracking.)

Manager: “What the ever loving f***?!”

(We run to the front to find a man with an arm full of bricks that he apparently took from the construction site across the street, throwing them one by one at our glass door which is now riddled with cracks.)

Manager: “Sir, what are you doing!? Stop! Stop!”

(My manager frantically unlocks the door before the man can break it down entirely.)

Man: “Oh, hi, your door seemed to be stuck. I’d like a [Breakfast Sandwich] and a coffee.”

Manager: “The door wasn’t stuck; it was LOCKED! We’re not open yet!”

Man: “Really? Well, how was I supposed to know that? The door wouldn’t open!”

Manager: “…”

Man: “So can I get a [Breakfast Sandwich] and a coffee now?”

Manager: “Sure. It’ll be $3,000, cash only right now since the registers aren’t on yet.”

Man: “WHAT!? $3,000 for a f****** [Breakfast Sandwich] and a coffee?”

Manager: “No, for the [Breakfast Sandwich], the coffee, the replacement for the door you just smashed due to apparently being unable to read the sign right in front of you stating when our hours are, or too stupid to realize a store with the lights off, no customers, and a locked door is CLOSED, and also for the trespassing fines and theft of building materials from across the street.”

Man: “What… but… the door wouldn’t open!”

(My manager looks down at the scattered bricks lying around our front entrance.)

Manager: “[My Name], call the police, before I decide to return a few of these to their sender!”

(The man’s jaw dropped open and he promptly dumped the remaining bricks he was holding and ran off. We gave the police a full description along with our camera footage, and that’s the last we ever saw or heard of the impatient brick-throwing moron. The construction company also sent us a letter of apology, saying they’d take additional measures to make sure their materials were better secured from now on.)

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