Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Plainly Didn’t Order That

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m sitting at a table in a small café. The lady behind the counter puts two orders on the pickup counter and calls out what they are.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I didn’t really hear what you said. What are these orders?”

Worker: “This is a breakfast sandwich with hash browns and this is a plain bagel with butter.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s what those are?”

Worker: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “Well, it’s just that I didn’t order a plain bagel with butter.”

Worker: “Well, then it’s somebody else’s order.”

Cafe Au Lame

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: *yells from the milk counter, on the other side of the café* “EXCUSE ME! I ORDERED A CAFE AU LAIT!”

Me: *walking over to avoid yelling* “Yes, sir! With skim milk. That’s what I made you.”

Customer: *shows me the cup* “There’s no milk in here.”

(There’s a nice thick layer of creamy milk foam clearly visible at the top of the drink, as is usual for a cafe au lait.)

Me: “I definitely put milk in there. I steamed it myself.”

Customer: “There’s no milk in here! Look at this!”

(He proceeds to dump the coffee into our trash can, trying to illustrate that the color of the drink is too dark.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what the complaint is. I prepared a cafe au lait with skim. You can clearly see the milk in the drink. I’ll happily remake your drink if you’re unsatisfied, but I need to understand what about the drink is wrong so that I can fix it.”

Customer: “How much milk did you put in here?”

Me: “About a third.”

Customer: “Well it doesn’t look like it!” *gesturing to an empty cup, since he’s dumped his drink in the trash*

(I remake him his drink exactly the same as I had made the first one, this time placing the cup of coffee on the bar, and demonstrating how much milk I am pouring into it.)

Customer: “Now that’s a cafe au lait. Was this so hard?”

(Yes. Yes it was.)

Going Nuts Over A Berry

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work at a restaurant that gives complimentary chocolate strawberries and baguette roll with a combo. A customer comes up to pay.)

Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, due to a shortage in Texas we do not have any strawberries.”

Customer: *visual anger rises* “What you mean you don’t have strawberries?!”

Me: “Strawberries are out of season in Texas where we order produce from, so we do not have any in the store. Actually all of the [Restaurant]s in Arizona do not have strawberries. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.”

Customer: “I AM APPALLED! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS! I want a discount on my entire meal!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately I can’t do that because we do not charge you for the bread or strawberries. They come complimentary with the meal.”

Customer: “Where the h*** does it say that?!” *she grabs a menu* “Show me!”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points to and reads the exact line that says “Combo comes complimentary with a chocolate dipped strawberry and baguette roll.”*

Customer: “Well, then I want a free slice of cheesecake!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry. I unfortunately can’t do that. Again, I’m sorry for any inconvenience this has caused you.”

Customer: “I’m calling MY attorney general and you will see me in court for false advertising! Nowhere does it say that it comes with the meal!”

Me: “Would you like me to read the menu to you, ma’am?”

Customer: “NO! YOU’LL SEE ME IN COURT!”

Me: *with a big smile* “Okay, ma’am! Have a nice night!”

Customer: *looks at me and yells* “OKAY!” *smugly walks away*

Me: *turns to the next customer* “Unfortunately we are out of dipped strawberries at the moment. Is that okay, ma’am?”

Next Customer: “Of course it’s okay! It’s only a strawberry!”

Thought It Was One Giant Smoking Mirror

, | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(We sell cigarettes, and you can clearly see them as soon as you walk in the door.)

Customer: “Excuse me; do you guys sell cigarettes here?”

Me: *being humorous, thinking he is as well* “No, we don’t, sir.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll go somewhere else.”

(As he started to leave, another cashier motioned to the wall of hundreds of cigarettes behind the counter, and lucky us, he found humor in his mistake, as well as we did.)

You’re Our Number Two Customer

| USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Popular

(My manager is in the bathroom pooping when a customer gets the sudden urge to poop. Our bathrooms are one person bathrooms, so the door is locked. The customer gets up and sprints to the bathroom and twists the doorknob so hard it breaks, and the customer barges in and sees my manager on the toilet.)

Manager: “Hi. Welcome to [Shop].”