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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Should Have Made A Run For The Money

| GA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work as a bagger. It is about 8 pm and I am at the register waiting for the next order. A customer comes up with at least 15 $100 dollar prepaid gift cards.)

Cashier: “How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I am doing well, thanks for asking.”

(The cashier begins ringing up her order and the customer reaches into her wallet to pull out the money she is going to pay with. Turns out, however, this is counterfeit money, all of them 100 dollar bills.)

Cashier: “Okay, your total comes out to [price].”

(The customer hands her the fake bills and, without a second thought, the cashier notices and pulls out the pen she is given to mark fake bills to see if they are fake; they, of course, come up fake, so she then calls the manager over.)

Manager: “Is something wrong?”

Cashier: “Yes, this money isn’t getting accepted by the register.”

(Our registers don’t actually have a feature to detect funny money.)

Manager: “Okay, well, let me take it upstairs and see if I can’t get my machine to take it.”

(This whole time the customer has still not realized that we know the money is fake and continues to stand there playing on a cell phone. She is still standing there when a police officer and the manager approach her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind, we would like you to come upstairs to the office, please.”

Customer: “Oh, okay, sure. I don’t mind.”

(They then walk upstairs and then it finally hits her when the police officer cuffs her. Then began the screaming.)

Customer: “THIS IS A FALSE ARREST! MY MONEY IS GOOD! YOU’RE GONNA HEAR FROM MY LAWYER! THIS IS BECAUSE I AM BLACK. ISN’T IT?! ALL YOU COPS ARE MOTHER F****** RACIST!”

(The cops took the woman to the squad car and drove off. I was just amazed the whole time she didn’t suspect a thing until the cops actually handcuffed her. You would think the moment the manager stepped up she would have hauled butt out of the store.)

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Stubbornness Is Its Own Reward

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(Our customer rewards card guarantees guests a cheaper ticket price on select days, in addition to $10 in rewards points for every $100 they spend. As a result, despite the rewards card costing an up-front fee per year, larger groups of people would actually be saving money if they buy the card on those select days. We’re also doing a limited promotion where people who sign up for the card get a free $10 in rewards on their card. A man is buying tickets from me at the box office the morning of one of those select cheap-ticket days.)

Customer: “It’s my kid’s birthday and I was hoping to take everyone who’s coming to his party to [Movie] at 4 pm. He’s desperate to see it. Do you have 18 tickets available?”

Me: *checking computer* “Yup, it looks like that showtime is totally open.”

Customer: *beaming* “Great! That’ll be 14 kids tickets and 4 adult tickets, please.”

Me: *clicking the tickets in* “That would come out to about $150. However, because today is the day where our rewards-card guests get the cheaper ticket price, your total would only come out to $90 if you have our rewards card. Do you happen to have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, then I’d highly recommend getting one. If you signed up for one, even with the up-front fee, you’d still only be paying about $100, so you’d be saving $50. In addition, for every $100 you spend, you get $10 credit back on your card that you can use like a gift-card. We’re also doing a promotion where if you sign up for a card this month, you get a free $10 credit. So if you sign up for one now, you’re not only saving $50, but you’re essentially getting the equivalent of a free $20 gift card in rewards points you’d be earning. Can I sign you up for one?”

Customer: *instantly annoyed* “Ugh. No. I don’t like being ripped off!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not trying to rip you off.”

Customer: “Yes! Yes, you are!”

Me: “I’m giving you an offer that would save you $50 up front and give you a guaranteed $20 credit.”

Customer: “Yeah…?”

Me: “And if you didn’t get the card, you’d be paying $50 more and wouldn’t get the $20 credit.”

Customer: “Uh, yeah. But I don’t like being ripped off. And your rewards card is a rip-off. It costs money upfront?”

Me: “Yes, sir. But it’s a one-time fee per year, so you’d have the card for the next year. And it won’t automatically be renewed after the year is up, so you won’t be surprised by renewal charge a year from now. We only renew it if you want us to.”

Customer: *holier-than-thou tone* “So you want me to pay upfront for a rewards card?”

Me: “Only if you’d like to sign up for one. And as I said, I’d highly recommend it. With the volume of tickets you’re buying, you’re saving a lot and getting $20 in rewards.”

Customer: *beaming* “Hence, you’re ripping me off. I won’t pay an upfront fee for a rewards card!”

Me: *thoroughly confused* “Okay, then that’ll be $150.”

Customer: *completely pleased with himself* “Thank you! You aren’t ripping me off with some bogus rewards program!”

(The real kicker? I later heard he came back after I had left, claimed I told him he would be getting “a free $20 gift card,” and had to be given a verbal warning about being kicked out after he pitched a fit when my manager — who I had told this story to when she arrived, before I left — refused this claim.)

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Inject Some Common Sense Next Time

| Rocklin, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Time

(In the large multi-specialty clinic where I work, our endocrinologist sometimes orders a complex test that involves getting blood drawn at our lab downstairs, getting an injection in our clinic immediately afterwards, and then getting blood drawn again right after to see how the body reacted to the injection. The timing has to be very precise and this is all explained to the patient beforehand. My coworker sees that a patient has checked in for her injection up at the front desk, so she prepares the injection and goes to call the patient back — but the patient is nowhere to be found.)

Coworker: *to the receptionist* “Did you see where [Patient] went?”

Receptionist: “No, she just… disappeared.”

(My coworker returns to the back office and waits to see if the patient shows up. After 20 minutes with no sign of her, she calls the patient. I can’t hear their conversation, but as my coworker is speaking, she facepalms dramatically and rolls her eyes at me. When she hangs up…)

Coworker: “So, I asked her where she went, and she said, ‘Oh, I had some things to do, and I’d been waiting a while, so I went home.'”

Me: “But she’d only been waiting like 10 minutes! And she already got the first blood draw done!”

Coworker: “I know! And now this injection is wasted. I told her her insurance would probably make her pay for it, and she just laughed it off and said she didn’t think so. Bet she won’t be laughing when she sees her bill.”