Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Glad They Nipped That One In The Bud, Part 2

| Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(A client shows up for an appointment to remove ticks from her dog.)

Coworker: “How many ticks does he have and where are they?

Client: “Six that we’ve counted so far.”

Coworker: “Wow! That’s a lot. Where have you been lately?”

Client: “I know, it’s really weird. They’re on his belly and they’re all symmetrical.”

(The client starts to roll dog over to show us belly. Stunned silence follows.)

Coworker: “Nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple, nipple!”

Client: “But he’s a boy!”

Coworker: “You have nipples, don’t you, sir?”

Related:

Glad They Nipped That One In The Bud

A Serial Problem

| GA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

Customer: “I tried to register my serial number on the website last night but it wouldn’t take it.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. I can go ahead and get that registered for you. Can I have the serial number, please?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have it right now. Don’t you have it?”

Me: “…”

Wish You Could Give Them A Cold Shower

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am working as a supervisor at a truck stop that has shower facilities available for travelers and truck drivers for a small fee. If truck drivers purchase a certain amount of fuel then they’re be entitled to a free shower. I am paged over to the counter where I find a man and woman, visibly upset, yelling at the cashier.)

Me: “Hi, I’m the supervisor. Is there something I can help you with?”

Male Customer: “Yeah, this idiot won’t give me a free f****** shower! This is ridiculous! I bought enough fuel so I should get a free f****** shower!”

Female Customer: “She’s so stupid! Why won’t she just give us the free shower?! We bought gas!”

Me: “I’m sure I can sort this out; can I just see your receipt for the fuel?”

(When he hands me the receipt I notice that it is for a different truck stop.)

Me: “Sir, this is for [Other Truck Stop]. Had you purchased the fuel from us, or even one of our other locations we could give you a free shower, but not from our competitors.”

(At this point the woman’s face goes slack and she starts backing up towards the door, obviously realizing the mistake.)

Male Customer: “It doesn’t f****** matter! I got fuel so you have to give me a shower! I get a free shower as long as I fuel up!”

Me: “Sir, it’s like filling up your [Burger Chain #1] card and then trying to redeem it at [Burger Chain #2]. We don’t reward people for giving business to other companies.”

Male Customer: “This is f****** bull-s***! I’m gonna tell everyone I know to not stop here anymore! It shouldn’t matter where I get fuel; you still have to give me a shower!”

(He continued in the same vein as he walked out the door, his girlfriend having left some time before.)

Deleted Defeated

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(It’s already been a long day as I answer a patient’s phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] pharmacy; how can I help you?”

Female Customer: “I want you to delete [medication] from my file! I don’t want it to ever be filled there again. I get my medications in the mail now, and I don’t want you to screw it up.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll leave it here in your profile but we won’t fill it. We will only fill it if you ask us to.”

Female Customer: “No, I want it deleted!”

Me: “Okay, I will delete it.”

(I don’t delete it because patients who get their medications in the mail always run into a problem sooner or later and need to get a few pills from us until their order arrives from the mail.)

Female Customer: “Great! Oh, and can you fill [supposedly deleted medication] for a few tablets? My mail order will be late this month.”

Your Reading Ability Is Garbage

| NB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am a mobile specialist. I not only do new activations and hardware upgrades but I also assist customers with troubleshooting issues on their mobile devices. It amazes me the number of grown adults who are incapable of following simple written directions. I’ve just done a hardware upgrade for a woman who is in her late 30s like myself. All that is left is to transfer the data from the old phone to the new.)

Me: “Would you like me to do the set up for you?”

Customer: “No, no, I can do this.” *looks at the screen as it finally turns on* “Whoa! What is this, now?!”

Me: “Can I see?”

Customer: “What did you do?! I have nothing here; what is this?!”

Me: *I peek at the screen* “Ma’am, just hit start, right in the middle of the screen.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Whoa! What’s all this, now?”

Me: “It’s just the terms of usage; all you have to do is click ‘accept.’”

(This goes on for sometime with the customer panicking at each new screen. I offer a few more times to do the set up but she insists she can do it.)

Customer: “Okay, what is this, now?”

Me: “It’s asking for your email address; just type it in and hit ‘next.’”

Customer: “Okay… Oh, for crying out loud, just cancel everything. This phone is garbage. I’ve lost everything. I want my old phone back!”

Me: “Ma’am, it just wants the password for your email. Just type it in a hit submit.”

(She finally gets the phone set up, we transfer her contacts and photos, and she leaves happy. An hour or so later she comes back in livid.)

Customer: “This phone is garbage! I can’t get into Facebook!”

Me: “Okay, may I have a look?”

(I see that she has the Facebook app open. I won’t lie; I’m a little shocked she managed to get that far alone.)

Me: “You just have to put in your username.”

Customer: “I did that! It doesn’t do anything!”

Me: “Okay, what is your username?”

(She gives it to me, I type it in and hit next. The password page comes up.)

Customer: “See?! That’s all it does! It’s garbage!”

Me: “Ma’am, it just wants your password. See, here there is a box for text and above it, it says ‘password.’”

Customer: “God, how am I supposed to know that?”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, the directions are clearly written. If you would just take a moment to actually read what the screen says?”

Customer: “Oh, honey, I don’t have time to read. That’s what people like you get paid for!”

(She then walked away cheerily, with her Facebook app up and running. I wish I could say this was a unique story but sadly it’s not.)

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