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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47

| Manchester, NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m working with a particularly impatient customer who just wants to upgrade but I’ve been having issues with the system. After calling several tech departments, I finally discover what the problem is.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks as though you previously held an account with us that has gone into collections. Due to issues with our system at the time that you set up this new account, it has gone unnoticed until now. Unfortunately we will not be able to upgrade your phones until that account has been paid in full.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t make any sense. It was three years ago. They need to forget it.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not how debt works. You still owe us money and we can’t extend any more credit until it’s paid.”

Customer: *yelling now* “BUT IT WAS THREE YEARS AGO! IT SHOULD BE GONE!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not gone until you pay it.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I’m going to another carrier. You just lost a customer.”

Me: “That’s very unfortunate, ma’am, and I’m sorry you feel that way. Would you like the number of the collection agency so you can pay us what you owe us?”

Customer: *takes phone number and attempts to dramatically storm out*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

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Not Enough (Bath)Room

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(We sometimes host summer camps for kids in our dormitory over the summer when there are not students living here. I am checking in an adult man who is here as a counselor.)

Me: “All right, you’re in room 291. That’s on the second floor, and here’s your room key. This is your meal card; it will work in our upstairs dining hall. The elevators are to your right.”

(The man goes to his room. About 15 minutes later, he’s back.)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom, and what’s the code?”

(Our community bathrooms require people to punch a code into the door so that only men can get into the men’s bathroom and only women can get into the women’s bathroom.)

Me: “You’re in 291, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “291 has a connecting bath. It’s in the room.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t see it.”

Me: “Let me check for you.” *I pull up the floor plan and confirm that his room is does indeed have a connecting bath.* “Yes, sir, you do have a connecting bath. You’ll share it with the person in the next room over like a Jack-and-Jill bathroom. When you walk into your room, there will be two closets on your right and then a brown door. That door leads to the bathroom.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks.” *walks away.*

Coworker: “Did he really miss that?”

Me: “Apparently. I’m not sure how since it’s a 14 x 14 foot room.”

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 11

| Oakland, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I overhear this exchange as I’m setting up my booth at a small craft fair that occurs monthly. An older woman approaches the artist, who is pregnant but not yet showing, in the booth next to me.)

Customer: “Do you have any more of those adorable t-shirts? I remember you had them last month at the holiday fair.”

Artist: “No, I’m afraid I don’t. I’m not doing any silk screening; I’m pregnant so I’m avoiding the chemicals.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s such a shame. Will you have the shirts next month?”

Artist: “…”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 10
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 9
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 8