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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Exchanging Un-Pleasantries

| Auckland, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Hi there, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello love. I need US Dollars, please… I’m going on a family holiday to Italy then France.”

Me: “Ma’am, US Dollars cannot be used in those countries. Italy and France use the Euro.”

Customer: “NO, NO, NO! They use US Dollars; most countries use the US Dollar. It’s the most powerful money in the universe.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you, US Dollars are not used in those countries. You’ll end up exchanging it for Euros when you get there.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** WOULD YOU KNOW ABOUT MONEY IN OTHER COUNTRIES?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I work in a foreign currency exchange.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Would you like the Euros, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, you smart little cow, give me US Dollars or I will complain to your manager!”

Me: “All right then, ma’am.”

(I give the customer US Dollars for use in Europe.)

Customer: “Now, that wasn’t hard to do was it?”

Me: “No, ma’am, thank you for your business.”

(She returned three hours later with her son (who seemed extremely annoyed with his mother) and exchanged the US Dollars back to the local currency then into Euros.)

Something Fishy About That Meat

| Traverse City, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A couple sit down at a table in my section:)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Our dinner feature is our Friday night fish fry. Tonight we have cod.”

Man: “Your special, what exactly is that?”

Me: “Our cod is four flaky fillets that comes with fries and coleslaw, but if you would like you can exchange that for any two sides.”

Man: “Where is that listed on the menu?”

Me: “Right here, sir.” *I point to the menu, where it says “Friday Fish Fry” in large letters and the man starts looking over where I had showed him*

Woman: “I’ll have the roast beef dinner.”

Man: *to his wife* “Did you get fish?”

Woman: “No, I got the beef.”

Man: *to me* “That beef, is it meat?”

Me: “Uhm, yes.”

Man: “Are you sure it’s meat, not fish?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “Why don’t you have fish?”

Me: “We do. The cod I told you about right here is fish.”

Man: “Are you sure that it is fish and not meat?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “All right. I’ll have that, as long as it’s not meat.”

Your Keyboards Days Are Numbered

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

User: “Hi, I’m having an issue entering in the numbers in this field.”

Me: “Okay, let me proxy into your computer and I’ll see what I can do.”

(I proxy into the computer, click in the field, type with no issues:)

Me: “It looks like this is working okay for me; can I have you try to enter that in again?”

User: *typing* “It’s not working.”

Me: “Hmm, okay, you’re typing in numbers there?”

User: “Yes, but it’s not working.”

Me: “Can I have you press the Num Lock button on your keyboard? It should be on the right side, directly above the 7 key.”

User: “I don’t see it.”

Me: “It’s on the keyboard, on the right side. It’s near the 7 button, on the number keypad, all the way on the right of the keyboard.”

User: “I don’t see a 7.”

Me: “…Okay, so on the keyboard—”

User: “I don’t see anything like that.”

Me: “So, you’re looking at the thing you’re typing on, correct? Not at the screen?”

User: “I just don’t see a 7 anywhere here.”

(I notice that the mouse is moving on the screen, tracking back and forth across the taskbar at the bottom of Windows.)

Me: “I think you’re looking at the screen; I need you to look at the keyboard, the thing you are typing on.”

User: “I was typing in this text box…”

Me: “Oh, no, not on the screen there, but on the keyboard. The hardware under the screen, that you type with.”

User: “But I don’t see anything like that.”

Me: “Okay, so when you place your hands in a position to type—”

User: “Oh, on the KEYBOARD.”

Me: “…Yes, do you see the 7 button on the keyboard?”

User: “…”

Me: “…”

Me: “Directly above the 7 button is the Num Lock button. It’s on the far right side.”

User: “I just don’t see that.”

(10 minutes later, I discovered that the issue was a disconnected keyboard.)