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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Stuck In A Vicious Bicycle

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(We work in a single-story building. Our store is a little smaller than others of the same chain in the area. I am rearranging the lawnmowers when a woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me; I can’t seem to find the bicycles.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry bicycles in this store. We have a bicycle section with some small things, but you have to go to [Other Location] for actual bikes.”

Woman: “No, your BICYCLES. I need a bicycle.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry them.”

Woman: “YES, you DO!”

Me: “Our other stores do. Our store is too small.”

Woman: “I saw them YESTERDAY. Ugh.”

Me: “Really? Where?”

Woman: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Maybe you were at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “You’re not LISTENING. Just show me the bicycle section.”

(I lead her to the bicycle section where we have a few spare tires, pumps, etc.)

Woman: No, where your BICYCLES ARE.

Me: *frustrated* “OHHH, our BICYCLES! Sorry, I didn’t understand. You are looking for our bicycles, but not at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “YES, FINALLY!”

Me: “The bicycles are upstairs!”

Woman: “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO THE FIRST TIME!?”

(She stormed off. I alerted the rest of our team about the crazy lady and fess up to sending her to our nonexistent upstairs. I got scolded later. Worth it.)

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 7

| Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a video game store who allows customers to trade in games. I answer the phone.)

Me: “This is [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto V and it’s all scratched up and won’t work. Can I trade it in for a new one?”

Me: “Did you get the warranty? If not you can trade it in for something but we will mark it as defective.”

Customer: “No. I bought it at [Different Store]. I just wanted to trade it for another one.”

Me: “So you want a straight trade for another copy? Even though you bought it at [Different Store]?”

Customer: “Yeah. I need a new one since mine doesn’t work.”

Me: “Yeah… that’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “Really? Why not?”

Me: “Have a good night.” *hangs up and turns to my manager* “I think I have had my daily dose of stupid for the day…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(About once a month, the grocery store I work at holds a sale event called “No Tax Day” where the store pays the taxes for the day. There’s no real way for our system to do this automatically. I work the U-Scan machines. At every machine, we have a large, bold sign telling customers to hit the help button when they’re finished scanning so the attendant can remove their taxes for them. Despite this, most customers do not. I try to catch as many as I can before the customer gets a chance to hit the payment button, and some sorts of payment I can cancel from my station to take off the taxes. The debit/credit machines, however, have to be cancelled from their pinpads.)

Customer: *hits the debit button and begins debit payment*

Me: *notices, rushes over, pulls out her card and puts it down, and hits the cancel button on the pinpad* “Ma’am, if you’ll give me just a moment, I can take off your taxes for you before you pay.” *taps the sign*

(I rushed back to my station, which only took a moment. By the time I got there, she’d already begun her debit transaction again.)