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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

I Literally Just Told You

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(My store hands out this cash coupon where if you spend a certain amount in a previous purchase you get a certain dollar amount off your purchase on a selected weekend in the future. During that weekend if you didn’t receive a cash coupon we send out a regular 15% off your purchase coupon to use. Neither can be combined.)

Customer: “Ugh, how do you know it’s not combinable!?”

Manager: “Well, I’m literate and read the back of the coupon where it says it can’t be combined with any other discount.”

Doesn’t Know Zip About His Code

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I am processing a customer’s application and realize his zip code on his account is ****6 but the one on his application is ****1. Wanting to correct the mistaken one I ask him.)

Me: “Excuse me. Sir, what is your zip code?”

Customer: “It’s ****4.”

Me: “Sir, you put ****1 on your application and our account is showing ****6. That’s 3 different zip codes.

Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter. They are all the same city, so I just give whichever one pops into my head first.”

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 23

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I get a call where the modem is online and other devices can connect to the wifi, but the computer that is connected to the modem with a network cable can’t get online. I log into the modem and can see that it’s not detecting anything plugged into it.)

Me: “…so it’s probably just a loose cable. So can you please check the cable at the back of the modem?”

Customer: “Yeah, it seemed a bit loose, but now it’s in tight.”

Me: “That’s strange; I still can’t see it. Is the computer on right now?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Because I can’t see it if it’s not turned on.”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s on.”

Me: “Okay, then, can you please check the cable at the back of the computer and make sure it’s not loose there?”

Customer: “It’s tight.”

Me: “I still can’t see it. Maybe it’s a bad port. Can you move the cable in the back of the modem to the next square hole over, please?”

Customer: “Okay, done.”

Me: “I still can’t see it from here. Can you get online yet?”

Customer: “No, it’s still not working.”

Me: “Okay, then, let’s try the next port over. Now, the computer is on, right?”

Customer: “”Yeah, it’s on.”

(We spend the next ten minutes trying every port in the back of the modem, having them try a second “network” cable (that ends up being just a regular phone cord from the fax machine, which of course doesn’t work). I still can’t get the modem to see the connection or the computer online, and they don’t have any other laptops or anything that we can plug in instead to test the cable. Finally…)

Me: “Okay, I don’t know why the modem can’t see the computer. The cable seems to be in decent shape, and I can’t believe that all four ports spontaneously died at once. I’ve got to check what IP your computer’s getting. Go over to it, please, and click on the Start button in the bottom left corner of your screen, then “All Programs”–”

Customer: “Just a sec; I have to turn the computer on.”

Me: *in disbelief* “The computer isn’t on.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “I asked you a few times if it was on. You told me it was.”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Because I can’t see the connection if the computer’s not on!”

Customer: “Yeah. Sorry.”

(As soon as the computer was on, we checked her Internet, and lo and behold, it was working. The network cable had been loose after all; and we had spent the next half hour or so trying to troubleshoot a problem that didn’t exist for a computer that wasn’t even on! And customers wonder why tech support agents tend to talk to them like they’re morons. Statistically, they probably are.)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 22
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 20

I ‘Find’ That Hard To Believe

Lincoln, NE, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(I work in an outbound call center at a student loan guarantor. We call people who are past due so that we can go over their options to become current and then transfer them to their servicer if necessary. Wrong numbers are often associated with accounts, but we remove them as soon as a person tells us it’s a wrong number.)

Me: “Hello, is [Name] available?”

Kid: “If you call this number again, I will PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE! And then I’ll FIND you!” *click*

Me: “Um…?”

They’re Nutso Different

, | Charlevoix, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a fudge shop during tourist season. All the types of fudge are in a large display that takes up the entire length of the room, separating the workers from the customers.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Welcome to [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: *stares blankly at the display* “…What are those two there?” *points vaguely at two types of fudge*

Me: “This one on the left is walnut fudge, and the other on the right is cashew.”

Customer: “Oh… Well, what’s the difference between walnut and cashew fudge?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Um… one has walnuts… and the other has cashews?”

Customer: “Oh. Well I don’t like nuts. Can I get this one instead?” *points to a display peanut butter fudge*

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