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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Scanning For Signs Of Intelligence

, | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Patron: “Can I scan this?”

Me: “Do you want to scan it or photocopy?”

Patron: “Scan.”

Me: “Okay. Our scanner’s right here. Here’s the program. It’ll take a second to warm up, and then you’re good to go.”

Patron: “And once it’s scanned in, I can print it, right?”

Me: “Uh… if… if you’re just going to print it, it’s probably faster just to photocopy it.”

Patron: “Oh. Okay.”

(These are the people who are going to be running the country, folks. Scary.)

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Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 4

| AK, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(At our store, rewards cards don’t lower the price of purchases, but they do earn gas discounts and can get you coupons. Many customers have them, some don’t. I’m ringing up a gentleman with one woman waiting behind him.)

Me: “Okay, that’s everything! Do you have a rewards card today?”

Customer #1: *suddenly starts glaring at me* “WHAT? I didn’t know I needed a d*** SPECIAL CARD to shop here!”

(Before I can say anything, he storms out, leaving his purchases behind, and drives off. The other customer and I just stare in disbelief for a few seconds before I cancel out the transaction.)

Customer #2: “Did that really just happen?”

Me: “You know, I kinda hope he has someone waiting for these groceries at home, so he has to tell them why he doesn’t have them.”

Related:
Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 3
Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2
Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

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2nd Floor, Ward B, To Be Specific…

| UK | Extra Stupid

Me: “Could I take your name?”

Customer: “It’s [Name].”

Me: “And your date of birth?”

Customer: “That’s [date].”

Me: “And could I take your place of birth?”

Customer: “…The hospital?”

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Email Fail, Part 7

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am trying to help a customer return a clothing item while using the pre-paid return label.)

Customer: “Can you send the return label to my desktop and not my laptop?”

Me: “Okay, what’s the email you would like me to use to send the label?”

Customer: “The one for my desktop.”

Me: “Well, our records don’t indicate which one that is. Can you tell me the address?”

Customer: “It’s [email address]. Make sure you put in the information line desktop so the desktop knows the email is for it.”

Me: “Okay, I just sent it.”

Customer: “You sent it to my laptop.”

Me: “Can you not access that email for both computers?”

Customer: “Why does everyone always ask me that?”

Me: *sighs*

Related:
Email Fail, Part 6
Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4

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Wants No Souvenir Of Your Time Together

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Popular

(I work in a very large tourist souvenir shop. It’s a slow day and while my three coworkers watch the empty shop I’m at the top of a ladder, arms full of merchandise, when I feel a tap on my leg.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Can you help me?”

Me: *a bit annoyed that she chose the only busy employee, but cheerful anyway* “Of course, ma’am. Just give me a moment to put everything down and climb down from this ladder.”

Customer: *without waiting* “I need a souvenir.”

Me: “Well, you’ve come to the right place. That’s all we sell! Do you have anything in particular in mind?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, well, I can help you find something to fit your needs. Is it for yourself or someone else?”

Customer: “I need souvenir.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that. Is it for a child or an adult?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay… Do you want something decorative or something you can use every day?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well, let’s start with a price point and narrow it down from there. How much would you like to spend?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have nearly one thousand items in this shop, ranging in price from 50p to hundreds of pounds. Can you give me any parameters or interests that would help me to point you in the right direction?”

Customer: “I need a souvenir.”

Me: *internal facepalm* “How about I just show you our most popular items? Over here we have keychains, coasters, and mugs with [Iconic Image] on them. If you want something made locally we have really lovely handmade scarves and soaps which make excellent presents. If that’s too pricey or you need something easy to pack, the wall to your left has over 200 postcards for you to choose from. We also sell matting at the far end of the shop if you decide you’d like to mount a postcard as a decoration. Have a browse, and if you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask me or another member of staff.”

Customer: “Well, you’re no help at all!” *storms off*

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