Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Taxing Faxing, Part 17

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(After finishing up a call with a customer…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you don’t have to send out things via the post. It’s such a waste of paper and trees.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Customer: “So, I was thinking you could fax them. Is that okay?”

Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14

Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance

| Orillia, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(This happens to my coworker who is taking orders and doing cash on drive-thru window.)

Customer: *over speaker box* “You made my tea wrong! I want an extra large steeped tea with two milk and two sugar.”

Coworker: “I am very sorry about that. Come on up to the window and we will have that ready for you.”

(When the customer arrives she thrusts the tea at my coworker who accepts it.)

Customer: “You are not allowed to take garbage through the window. You should be ashamed of yourself!”

(It is our policy not to accept trash if people try to hand it to us but often if a customer hands an improperly prepared beverage back we check the mark on the lid to see what was wrong.)

Coworker: “Oh. I am sorry about that.” *hands her the new drink*

Customer: *reading notices on the window* “You should have a sign on the window saying that you cannot take people’s trash!”

Coworker: “Sorry, we can only post notices approved by head office.”

Customer: “You should have an allergy warning for lactose! Your products contain lactose! You need to warn people!”

Coworker: “Um… sorry?”


Stunned Coworker: *to me* “Didn’t she have milk in her tea?”

Me: “Yeah. Apparently we now need to warn people that the milk or cream that they add to their drinks may contain lactose.”

(The next customer arrives at the window.)

Customer #2: “Did you just get yelled at?”

Coworker: “Yeah. She was mad that we didn’t have sign saying that some of our products may contain lactose.”

Customer #2: *stunned* “Are you serious?”

Coworker: *nods*

Customer: “What the f***? I’m lactose intolerant and I don’t need a bloody sign to tell me that!”

Me: “I am lactose intolerant, too.”

Customer: “And we know god d*** well that milk and cream have lactose! We just don’t order it! Who the h*** needs a sign to tell them that!”

Coworker: “Apparently she did because she ordered milk in her tea.”

Don’t Answer Machine Back

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I want your voice mail service turned off now!”

Me: “Let me take a look… your voice mail is deactivated already, sir.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t! I came home today and my phone said I had one message!”

Me: “Does your phone have an answering machine, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, it does! What does that have to do with anything!?! You never turned off your voice mail and now my phone says I have a message!”

Me: “It’s on your answering machine, sir.”

Customer: “And how did it get there?! Out of thin air?!”

Me: “No, sir, someone called you and left a message on the answering machine.”

Customer: “My a** they did!” *click*

Obeys Instructions To The Letter

, | Liverpool, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I’m in the security department and from time to time we send letters out to customers if we need to check transactions are genuine.)

Me: “[Bank] Security. You’re speaking to [My Name] in Liverpool; can I take your name, please?”

Customer: “I’ve got a letter, here.”

Me: “Okay, we’ll just be wanting to check some transactions on your account, just to make sure everything is genuine.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “It’ll just be a security check. Is that what the letter says?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I assumed at this point that perhaps he couldn’t read so I was about to explain further when…)

Customer: “Should I open it?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Should I open the letter?”

Me: “Uh.. well… yes.”

Customer: “Okay, that’s all I wanted to know. Thanks, bye!”

(I feel bad, because I didn’t tell him to read it after opening it, and didn’t visit his address and personally type in our phone number for him, either.)

The Tailgate Scandal

| Southampton, England, UK | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Hall of Fame, Popular

(In this particular car park, you take a ticket when you arrive — you can’t get past the barriers if you don’t — and then use the ticket afterwards to pay for how long you’ve been there. I’m waiting to pay for my parking, and a group of giggling girls, no older than 21 or so, approach the security guard.)

Girl #1: “So, like, we can’t get out; we don’t have a ticket.”

Guard: “You’ve lost your ticket? You can get a replacement—”

Girl #1: *giggles* “No, like, we never had one.”

Guard: “You… didn’t take one when you came in?”

Girl #1: *brightly* “Nope!”

Guard: “How did you get in?”

Girl #2: *clearly thinking that they were being smart* “We followed another car in!”

Guard: “So you tailgated another car in? Right, I see. You’ll have to call the control centre, and pay for a full 24 hours parking.”

Girl #1: “Uh, no. If we wanted to pay for parking, we would have just taken a ticket, right?”

Guard: “Yeah… You can either pay for a ticket, or you can go to jail. It’s your choice.”

Girl #1: “…How do we get a ticket?”

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