Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!


| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Potatoes, please.”

Me: “What kind?”

Customer: “I want potatoes.”

Me: “We have French and curly fries, hash browns, and wedges. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Poh-tate-ooohhhs.”

(I scoop up some French fries and show it to the customer.)

Me: “These?”

Customer: “Yes! Potatoes!”

Coming Down Hard On The Software

VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I have a return.”

Me: “Okay!”

Customer: *slaps down box with “[Tax Software] FOR WINDOWS” on front*

Me: “It’s been opened…”

Customer: “I put it in my computer and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Was there something wrong with the disc?”

Customer: *becoming irate* “No! I can’t use it in my computer!”

Me: “Why can’t—”

Customer: “I have a Mac!”

(When we explain we can’t return open software unless it is defective, he becomes angry, declares we have lost his business, and storms out.)

Me: *to manager* “He says he’s never shopping here again.”

Manager: *in a sad, dead voice* “He’ll be back next tax season. They always come back.”

Sale Fail

| Kent, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I work on the customer service desk of a large retail store and we are getting ready for a sale.)

Customer: “Can you price check this for me?”

Me: “It’s £3, as it says on the label.”

Customer: “But there’s a mark on the back. That means it’s in the sale.”

Me: “It has been marked to identify it as sale, which starts tomorrow.”

Customer: “But it’s over there, on that rail with other items. That means it’s on sale.”

Me: “We have to start rearranging the store two days before the sale starts as we have a lot of stock and it can’t be done in one day.”

Customer: “But if it’s there then I should be able to buy it now at sale price.”

Me: “No. Nothing is marked up at sale price and there are no signs stating it is sale.”

Customer: “So I can’t buy it now? But if I came back at eight pm could I buy it then?”

Me: “No. We would be shutting, and as I have explained the sale starts tomorrow.”

Customer: “But I don’t know what I am doing tomorrow.”

Me: “We open at six am if that’s any help!”

Customer: “Well, I might be back.”

(She then walked off. I love how some customers think they can change the rules to suit themselves.)

The Lights Are On But No One Is Home

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular

(We have moved to a much smaller place in another town, and have been selling off or giving away the furnishings and decorations that didn’t fit in the new place. Since it’s a bit of a drive I have been explaining the situation to potential buyers and arranging for them to meet me on weekends when I can be at the old house all day. If the following had only occurred once, I would have just brushed it off, but it happened THREE times with different people:)

Buyer: *calling/texting* “Where are you? I went by the house and no one was there.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been here all day. Did you ring the bell or knock? I didn’t hear it.”

Buyer: “No, I didn’t get out. I didn’t see a car in the driveway. Why weren’t you there?”

Me: “We have an empty three car garage. I parked in there to give people plenty of room to park and load their vehicles. Are you here now? Come on up to the front door.”

Buyer: “No, we left. We didn’t think anyone was home.”

Me: “Well, I’ll be here the rest of the day if you still want [item]. If you don’t believe I’m here, text me or try knocking BEFORE you leave again. We even have a doorbell you can use!”

Number Blunder

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(My coworker is on the phone with a customer:)

Coworker: “All right, the phone number you need is xxx-xxx… Ma’am? … MA’AM! Please do not dial the number into your phone while I’m giving it to you.”

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