Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Can’t Ketchup With The Explanation

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(At our store, everything costs one dollar unless specifically marked otherwise. When items are slightly damaged, half-open, missing pieces, or otherwise not perfect but can still be sold, we tag them with an orange sticker and put them in a cart with other half-off items. A manager has to do the price adjustment when a customer comes to the register. I’m working the register.)

Customer: “Just these today, please. I found this ketchup in the half-off cart.”

(I examine the ketchup and it does have an orange sticker as well as a manager’s initials, but there is no damage whatsoever.)

Me: “You found this in the half-off cart?”

Customer: “Yes, so it’s only fifty cents?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I think there was a mistake. There’s no reason this should be half off.”

Customer: “Oh, well, when it was in the cart the cap was broken. But there were a lot of other ketchups so I just switched it out.”

Me: “So the broken lid is on another ketchup bottle?”

Customer: “It’s not a problem, is it? There were a lot of other ketchup bottles.”

Me: “If it’s not damaged, I can’t give you half off.”

Customer: “But there are other ketchup bottles. Why can’t I just replace the cap?”

Me: “Because then we still have the damaged one in our stock. The damaged cap is why it’s fifty cents. If it isn’t damaged, it’s full price.”

Customer: “But there are plenty of other ketchups for me to switch the cap with!”

(I realized I didn’t have my thoughts together enough to explain this better, so I called my manager over to help while I continued to check out other customers. I don’t know what exactly was said between them, but she did end up paying full price for her ketchup and never did completely understand why.)

Got Breast Milk?

| Chesterfield, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at a daycare, taking care of babies. My one-year-old son is one of the babies in my room. One day, when a parent comes to pick up her own child, she sees me nursing my son.)

Parent: “Oh, do you do that for all the babies?”

(She actually thought I breastfed all of the babies in my room, not just my son.)

There Is No Plus Side To This

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Popular, Time

Customer: “I want to complain about your meter readers. They didn’t come in the period they were supposed to.”

Me: “Okay, let me check… So, your scheduled read date was March 22, plus or minus two business days. Our records show the readers attended on March 25 but the gate was locked.”

Customer: “Of course it was. That’s outside of the window.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it isn’t; the 25th is two business days after the 23rd.”

Customer: “NO. Where it says plus or minus two business days, that means it’s one day either side, two extra business days, up to three business days total. What are you, stupid?”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not the case. Plus or minus two business days means it can be up to two business days either side, a total of five business days.”

Customer: “NO, IT DOESN’T! IT NEVER MEANS THAT! ARE YOU STUPID?!”

Me: “Ma’am, out of curiosity, what would you assume it meant if we’d written plus or minus one business day?”

(Long silence.)

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *click*”

Give Him Free P&P For A Brain

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(A couple of customers walk into the store:)

Customer #1: “Hey, they have that Star Wars Expansion you want but is never available on-line!”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Customer #1: “Same price.”

(The second looks thoughtful for a moment…)

Customer #2: “Yeah, but it’s free P&P on-line…”

(He didn’t buy it.)

Brain-Fried

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Potatoes, please.”

Me: “What kind?”

Customer: “I want potatoes.”

Me: “We have French and curly fries, hash browns, and wedges. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Poh-tate-ooohhhs.”

(I scoop up some French fries and show it to the customer.)

Me: “These?”

Customer: “Yes! Potatoes!”

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