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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Planting The Seeds Of Stupid

| CT, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m a manager for a window treatment/home décor shop. We are known for having a VERY generous return policy. One my newest associate answers the phone.)

Associate: “[My Name], I think I need help with this customer.”

Me: “Okay, what’s going on?”

Associate: “This woman is a decorator, and she bought some of the artificial topiaries for her client a while back. She wants to know if she can return them.”

Me: “That should be fine. What’s the trouble?”

Associate: “Her customer watered them.”

Me: “…”

(I got on the phone and politely explained to the customer that while we are pretty lenient with returns, this was one time I would have to say ‘no.’ Fortunately she was very understanding. Her client told her that the topiaries ‘were drying out, and looked like they needed water.’ He even claimed that they started sprouting new plants afterwards!)

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Won’t Accept Your Olive Branch

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in a pizza shop, and an irate customer has just brought his pizza back up to the counter to my coworker.)

Customer: “I ordered this pizza WITHOUT mushrooms, and it is completely covered in mushrooms!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m very certain that pizza has no mushrooms on it. It contains all the meats, onions, black olives, and cheese.”

Customer: “And I’m telling you I see mushrooms all over it.” *lifts up cheese and displays a black olive* “See? Right HERE!”

Coworker: “Sir, that is a black olive.”

Customer: “I know what a god-d*** f****** mushroom looks like, so don’t tell me that!”

Coworker: “Very well, sir, I’ll remake the pizza and give you free drink refills while you wait.”

Customer: “Just hurry up, then!”

(I remade the pizza, once again without mushrooms. Customer receives his pizza and starts the same dialogue again. Since this was before smart phones or even the Internet, it was not possible to bring up a picture of an actual mushroom to show the customer what an idiot he was being.)

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 25

, | Germany | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

Customer: “Hello, I need help. I can’t connect with my WiFi router.”

Coworker: “Are you connected via LAN or via WiFi?”

Customer: “WiFi.”

Coworker: “How far are you from your router?”

Customer: “About half a meter.”

Coworker: *already confused* “What kind of router do you use?”

(The customer names an expensive and reliable brand.)

Coworker: “All right, can you try and connect your router with a LAN cable?”

Customer: “I’ll have to go search for one in the car—”

(At this point Coworker hears funny noises.)

Coworker: “Oh, these are funny noises. Are you in your garden?”

Customer: “No, I’m out fishing.”

Coworker: “And you want to get WiFi?”

Customer: “Well, yes, of course, so I packed my router and took it with me. This is how it works, right?”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 22