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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

One Copy With Cream Cheese, Please

| WV, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work in a copy/print center and I work behind a counter that has five large copiers all around me and a twenty-foot wall sign that says “Copy and Print Center.”)

Customer: “Do you make copies here?”

Me: “Nope, I make bagels. Would you like one?”

Acting Super Fly In Superdry

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Geography, Money

(I work in a brand-name British clothing store. The brand is British, but as an artistic choice most of the clothing has Japanese text and the word ‘Japan’ in the logo, so it is common for a lot of customers to think the brand is Japanese. I am Chinese but I was born and raised in the UK.)

Customer #1: *to [Customer #2]:*  “Why are we in this stupid store?”

Customer #2: “Because I like it! And I like supporting British companies.”

Customer #1: “You’re so stupid! This is a Japanese company! All you’re doing is supporting the Japanese!”

Me: “Sorry to interrupt, madam, but I couldn’t help overhearing. [Store] is actually a British company. The Japanese element is just an artistic choice. Not only that, but all our clothes are made in the UK as well.”

Customer #1: “You’re just saying that because you’re Japanese! You just want to send our money back to Japan!”

Me: “I was actually born here, madam, and not that it matters, but my ethnicity is Chinese, not Japanese.”

Customer #1: “Same thing!”

Customer #2: “Oh, my God! You can’t say that!”

Customer #1: “Sure I can.”

Me: “Madam, I couldn’t help but notice that you are carrying some [Other Brand Clothing Store] shopping bags.”

Customer #1: “So?”

Me: “That is an American brand. I am sure the USA appreciates your support.”

Customer #1: “Whatever!”

Customer #2: “Oh, shut up, [Customer #1]! And besides, you’re Polish!”

Not Worth The Paper It’s Printed On

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer has called in about his cable tv bill. Several discounts have expired on his previous statement so I have added some recurring discounts back on and begin to review with him:)

Me: “Okay, I’ve got those two $5 discounts renewed and also added another one for $5, and all of those are good for an entire year. I see that your billed amount was for $95 but you can go ahead and just send us the $80. The computer will know it’s received the correct amount.”

Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and it didn’t change.”

Me: “Oh, are you looking at your online statement? Press the F5 button to refresh the page and amount will change.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer. My billing statement –” *I hear a flapping noise as a piece of paper is shaken towards the phone* “– DID NOT CHANGE.”

Me: “…You’re asking why the piece of paper you’re holding in your hand, a physical piece of paper that was mailed to you, didn’t change when I made adjustments to your account just now?”

Customer: “Yes! It still says $95!”