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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Bad Customers Are Forever, Forever

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(A customer is wanting to look at rings, so I take a few out of the case.)

Customer: “This ring is too big. It’s a size seven.”

Me: “We offer free ring resizing.”

Customer: “That takes a few weeks. I don’t want to wait that long. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s stupid. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case and look at the tag.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven. I believe all the ladies’ rings in our case are a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s really stupid. Why would they do that? Show me that ring.”

(I get another ring out of the case. It is also a size seven. This repeats a few more times.)

Customer: “I have a question. The box says ‘diamond simulant,’ but the tag says ‘cubic zirconia.’ So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to any diamond substitute, while cubic zirconia is the specific kind.”

Customer: “No, they’re different. They’re made differently.”

(I try to explain again.)

Customer: “No, they’re different. So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to all diamond substitutes, while cubic zirconia is the specific type.”

Customer: “Ma’am, you’re not listening to me.”

Me: “YOU’RE not listening to ME!”

Customer: “Look, I don’t want to debate this.”

(At this point, I take a deep breath. I’ve recently been written up a few times, once more and I’m fired, so I’m trying to be on my best behavior.)

Me: *putting on my biggest smile, and my over-friendly voice* “Okay…”

Customer: “You’re wrong.”

(I finish up the rest of the transaction with my fake smile and overly friendly fake voice. I have a degree in geology, and have taken a few gemstone courses. I felt like asking her where she got her degree.)

Plainly Didn’t Order That

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m sitting at a table in a small café. The lady behind the counter puts two orders on the pickup counter and calls out what they are.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I didn’t really hear what you said. What are these orders?”

Worker: “This is a breakfast sandwich with hash browns and this is a plain bagel with butter.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s what those are?”

Worker: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “Well, it’s just that I didn’t order a plain bagel with butter.”

Worker: “Well, then it’s somebody else’s order.”

Cafe Au Lame

| Chicago, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: *yells from the milk counter, on the other side of the café* “EXCUSE ME! I ORDERED A CAFE AU LAIT!”

Me: *walking over to avoid yelling* “Yes, sir! With skim milk. That’s what I made you.”

Customer: *shows me the cup* “There’s no milk in here.”

(There’s a nice thick layer of creamy milk foam clearly visible at the top of the drink, as is usual for a cafe au lait.)

Me: “I definitely put milk in there. I steamed it myself.”

Customer: “There’s no milk in here! Look at this!”

(He proceeds to dump the coffee into our trash can, trying to illustrate that the color of the drink is too dark.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what the complaint is. I prepared a cafe au lait with skim. You can clearly see the milk in the drink. I’ll happily remake your drink if you’re unsatisfied, but I need to understand what about the drink is wrong so that I can fix it.”

Customer: “How much milk did you put in here?”

Me: “About a third.”

Customer: “Well it doesn’t look like it!” *gesturing to an empty cup, since he’s dumped his drink in the trash*

(I remake him his drink exactly the same as I had made the first one, this time placing the cup of coffee on the bar, and demonstrating how much milk I am pouring into it.)

Customer: “Now that’s a cafe au lait. Was this so hard?”

(Yes. Yes it was.)