Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Tip Of The Iceberg Of Her Stupidity

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I’m serving at the bar of a club when a woman orders a soda. I pour the drink and serve it to her.)

Woman: “I want the ice at the bottom of the glass, please.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I did put the ice in first.”

Woman: “No, I want it at the bottom of the glass otherwise it hurts my teeth when I drink. ”

(At this point, as the woman has said this with a straight face and appears quite calm. I think she’s joking.)

Me: *laughing* “I can give you a straw, but changing the laws of physics is a bit beyond me I’m afraid.”

(The woman goes a shade of red and starts yelling.)

Woman: “Who the f*** do you think you are to talk to me like that?! You’re boss will hear about this; it’s just unacceptable!”

(The woman stormed out and I was left shell-shocked at the bar. Funnily enough, she did complain about my rude and disrespectful service, and after two weeks of meetings with management she got banned.)

Taxing Faxing, Part 19

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I repair office machines. If a customer calls for service and they are not under contract, we charge a $90 fee, hourly and parts fees, and mileage if the distance is over 30 miles from the office. It’s to make them see what a great deal being under contract is. I get a call from a secretary that their fax machine wont print out faxes. We get this a lot so I ask her to make sure the paper roll is not in backwards (the old machines run off of a roll of paper instead of sheets). She assures me it isn’t. I tell her it will be over $200 for the me to even come look at it so I ask her to check again. She is adamant that the paper is in right and is insulted that I would even insinuate that she is too stupid to know whether or not the paper is in backwards. I tell her I would be down in the afternoon. When I get there the secretary shows me the machine. I step up, remove the paper roll, flip it around and put it back in, turn on the machine and it starts printing. The secretary just stands there with her mouth open. I write up the bill.)

Secretary: “Y… you aren’t really going to charge me all this?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I told you up front what we would charge and I even tried to help you over the phone.”

Secretary: *starts crying* “My boss will be furious when he finds out. I will lose my job over this!”

Me: “I will lose MY job if I don’t demand payment.”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 18
Taxing Faxing, Part 17
Taxing Faxing, Part 16

A Deliveryman AND A Lobbyist

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(There are several nice dorm-style residences nearby that don’t allow delivery drivers to go directly to the rooms. We don’t mind, because not having our drivers go up and down 10 stories saves us a little bit of time on deliveries. The phone rings.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Shop]; what can I do for you today?”

Caller: “Yes, can you explain why someone just called me from a number I don’t recognize, and said that he’d wait for me in the lobby?! What do I do?”

Me: “Oh, no, maybe he got the wrong phone number. I’m sorry, it must be very creepy to have someone call you out of the blue and say they’ll meet you in the lobby when you didn’t even order pizza! Thanks for letting me know.”

Caller: “What? No, I ordered pizza!”

Me: “Oh, I misunderstood.”

Caller: “I guess so. What do I do? Why’s my pizza taking so long?”

Me: “The person who called you and said they’d meet you in the lobby… Did they say that they were calling from [Pizza Shop]?”

Caller: “Yes! It was so weird! I don’t know what to do!”

Me: “Well, I think that was our delivery driver. He uses his cell phone to call people, so it won’t show up as being this same number. I think you should probably go down to the lobby, since it sounds like he’s waiting for you with your pizza.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. It’s so confusing.”

Just Toss That Salad

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

(It is within my first few months at my job. I have a customer wanting to exchange a bag of salad because he insists that it went bad too quickly. I ask him to grab another bag and I’ll make the exchange.)

Me: “Sir, these bags don’t match. This one is Dole, but the one you brought is something different.”

Customer: “Yeah, uh, you guys are out of that one.”

(I’m still learning the store’s inventory, so I continue to attempt the exchange.)

Me: “Sir, the barcode had been ripped open. I can’t exchange it if I can’t scan it.”

Customer: “Can’t you just scan this one?” *gestures to the new bag*

Me: “No, I can’t do that.”

(I continue to examine the bag and notice it lists the website of our competitor, which I know is closed at that time of night.)

Me: “You didn’t get this salad here; you got it at [Competitor.]”

Customer: “No, I got it here. I think it’s just listing the website.”

Me: “I can’t exchange it if it’s not something we carry. You need to take it to [Competitor.]”

Customer: “But they’re closed!”

(I continued to explain to him that I couldn’t exchange it. After that, he left. I could tell he was upset, but I still to this day wonder why he was so intent on exchanging a $2 bag of salad at that exact moment.)

The Highs Of The Obama Administration

| Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(A man and his wife ask about pins (highly collectable for people who like this restaurant). We have a special set of pins that says “5280”.)

Man: “What does the “5280” stand for?”

Me: “Well, you’re in the Mile High City. Do you know how many feet are in a mile?”

Man: “Ah! Yes! You know, we from the coast are much smarter than you here.”

Me: “What?”

Man: “See, with the lack of oxygen here, you just don’t get to be as smart.”

Me: “You do know we build the NASA rockets here, right? We actually have very smart people here.”

Man: “But Obama killed the whole NASA program. He’s bad news.”

Me: “The other guy was just as bad.”

Man: “No—”

Me: *to the wife* “So what pins were you interested in?”

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