Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!


Can’t Quite PIN Down This Email

| WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(The pin pads at our store allow the customer the option of getting an emailed receipt when they use a debit or credit card. Unfortunately, some form of this conversation happens at least once daily:)

Pin Pad: “Would you like an email receipt? [Yes] [No].”

Me: “There’s one more question there for you; it’s asking if you would like an email receipt.”

Customer: “Oh, no. Just the paper one.” *hits yes*

Pin Pad: “Please enter your email.”

Customer: “I don’t want an emailed receipt! Why is it asking for my email?!”

Me: “You hit yes…”


Not Very Closed Minded, Part 14

| Philippines | Extra Stupid, Time

(I handle the social media for my family’s tea shop, so my cellphone number is also the published number of the shop. This call happens on a Monday, and we’re closed on Mondays.)

Caller: “Is this [Tea Shop]?”

Me: “Yes. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Are you open today? Because I’m here at your shop and the sign says closed.”

(I had to keep myself from reacting!)

Me: “Sorry… we’re closed on Mondays.”

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 13
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 12
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 11


Dumb By Any Metric, Part 3

| VIC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Popular, Tourists/Travel

(I conduct tours for cruise ship passengers who’ve come ashore. Most of them are Americans, so as part of my tour, I give them a short lesson in the metric system.)

Me: “So, in Canada, we operate under the metric system. Our speed limits are measured in kilometres per hour, not miles per hour. For example, 80 kilometres per hour is around 50 miles per hour. Our temperature is measured in Celsius, not Fahrenheit. When we say it’s 20 degrees Celsius, that’s about the same as 70 degrees Fahrenheit. If we say it’s zero degrees Celsius, that’s 32 degrees Fahrenheit.”

Tourist: “What’s the population here?”

Me: “Our population is around 350,000 people.”

Tourist: “How many is that in REAL numbers?”

Dumb By Any Metric, Part 2
Dumb By Any Metric


Unable To Think Outside The XBox

| Manchester, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a video game store. However, being female, customers tend not to listen to what I say, despite the fact I know as much as my male coworkers.)

Customer: “Hi, do you have GTA 4 for Xbox?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands her an Xbox 360 copy*

Customer: “No, I mean for Xbox One?”

Me: “No, it hasn’t been released for the Xbox One, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. If you don’t have it I’ll look online. Someone will be selling it, right?”

Me: “No, because it isn’t on the Xbox One. It doesn’t exist.”

Customer: “Oh, well. I’ll keep an eye out; someone will be selling it, I imagine.”

Me: *gives up*


Cents-less Attempts To Browse

, | Portugal | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a tech support call center. The calls aren’t free, and the cost of the call per minute is clearly stated before the customer is put on hold for an operator. One of the ISPs that hires us has recently changed their webmail platform and people are having some issues adapting. I start my shift at 8:30 in the morning. It’s 8:29 and I see a call waiting, so I decide to login a minute early to help this customer.)

Me: “[Company], good morning. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: *very rudely* “Miss, at 30 cents per minute, I just payed to listen to half a minute of music. But let’s get to the point. I’m trying to access my webmail and the page looks weird. It’s all disfigured and I can see a kind of grid all over the screen. When I click on something it doesn’t respond correctly. I want to know if [ISP] is having any issues with their new webmail page.”

(We have no access to any ISP’s client database, so the first thing I do every time I get a call is run the phone number through our search engine to see if the client is registered on our database. When a customer is a first time caller, I have to ask for his information to insert him in the system.)

Me: “Okay, we’ll get right on fixing that issue for you, but first I need some information.”

(I ask him for the minimum data possible to be able to help him, as I notice he is clearly impatient and I don’t want to anger him any further.)

Me: “All right, so, you told me you’re having trouble viewing the new webmail page correctly. Do you have another browser you can try to see if there might be a problem with the one you are using now?”

Customer: “I use Internet Explorer. I have no other browsers and I will install no other browsers. I’ve always used this browser and it works just fine for [Popular Worldwide Webmail Provider]. I only have a problem with [ISP]’s new webmail page, because the old one worked just fine! Just tell me if [ISP] is having any temporary issues with their webmail!”

Me: “I have no information regarding a problem with [ISP]’s webmail page. The problem must be on your browser. I can guide you through the process of…”

Customer: “Don’t try to outsmart me, young lady, because I am not illiterate when it comes to computers! I bet I know more than you! I’ve dealt with computers all my life and I know my browser is just fine! It works fine with [Popular Worldwide Webmail Provider]; it’s only [ISP]’s webmail page I have a problem with!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there really seems to be nothing wrong with [ISP]’s webmail page. Most of the time when there’s a problem viewing a webpage correctly, clearing your browser history, cache, cookies, temporary files, and restoring your advanced browser settings is enough to solve the problem. It’s a fairly quick process, and as I was saying before, I can guide you through it to get everything working again.”

Customer: “What?! You want to change my browser settings? I suggest you start having milk for breakfast instead of brandy. Good day.” *click*

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