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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Unfair Welfare

, | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “…and your total is $[total].”

Customer: *holds up her SNAP (food stamps) card* “I’m paying with this. Can I get cash back on it?”

Me: “We only do cash back on Discover cards. Sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why?! Everyone just wants to take, take, take my money! Take, take, take! No one is ever willing to give anything!”

(I was so stunned I couldn’t even manage to make a comment on the irony of her comment while holding a SNAP card.)

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Showing Signs Of Understanding

| Romford, Essex, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(We are a market stall that sells perfumes and cosmetics. We love all of our customers, but a lot of our customers are either bad at math or speak without thinking. We sell a range of smell-like famous brand perfumes, which we sell for £3 each. I see a customer looking at our signs.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer #1: “These perfumes are £3 each, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer #1: “You have a sign up that says 3 for £9. That’s dumb as the customer doesn’t save anything buying three! You should remove the sign!”

Me: “I know but the usual going rate is £3.99 or 3 for £10, and some customers ask for 3 for £10!”

Customer #1: “Riiight… Okay, I know; I used to work on markets.”

(At that moment another customer approaches.)

Customer #2: “Hey, they are £3 each right?”

Me: “Yes!”

Customer #2: “So, if I buy three can I have them for £10?”

Customer #1: “…”

Me: *to Customer #2* “You can have them for £9!”

Customer #1: “You’re right; the sign should stay!”

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Reaching The Upper Limits Of Their Understanding

| Surrey, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I am busy working on the upper floor of a large bookshop when a customer gets my attention. Importantly, the only entrance/exit to this store is on the ground floor.)

Me: “Are you okay there, sir?”

Customer: “Is this the only floor?”

Me: “No, sir, this is the upper floor. There is another floor down the stairs you just came up.”

Customer: “So, this is the only floor?”

(Pause.)

Me: “Sir, there are two floors to this store. This is the upper floor. You must have walked through the ground floor to get here.”

Customer: “So, it’s just this?”

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Just Ran Over (Very) Big Bird

| Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am a flight attendant. Whilst turbulence sometimes happens, this flight was actually very smooth. One customer seems to think otherwise.)

Customer: *sounding slightly stressed* “Why is it so bumpy; it’s so very, very bumpy!”

Me: “Oh, we just ran over a bird.”

(Customer looked out of the window to try and spot the poor bird, even though we were at 35,000ft. I walked away before she worked it out…)

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Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 26

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work at a frozen custard and coffee shop. To draw in customers we also offer free wifi.)

Customer: “I’ll get a mocha custard with extra chocolate. And what is a ‘wehfeh?'”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Oh, um, a weefee?” *she points to the sign*

Me: “Oh! Wifi!”

Customer: “Oh! Oh, yes, sure. This says I can get it free?”

Me: “Yep.”

(There’s a long pause while the woman stares at me.)

Customer: *getting a little impatient* “What is it? Okay, is it a smoothie or custard or drink?”

(I’m a little at a loss for words so it takes me a minute to compose my answer.)

Me: “Oh, it’s, you know, it’s Internet. Like wireless Internet?” *the woman starts frowning at me* “For using your laptop or phone in the store.”

Customer: “I want my custard to go.”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 25
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23

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