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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Kindness Is The Missing Seasoning

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

Customer: “I want a burger with nothing on it.”

Me: “Nothing? No sauce at all?”

Customer: “No, nothing at all on the burger, but –” *counts the words out on her fingers* “ — the meat and the bun.” *kind of smug* “Got that?”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let the cook know.”

(I move over and let the cook know the woman only wants meat. It isn’t an odd order, actually a really easy one. It gets finished fast so I get it right out to the women. She sits down and proceeds to look inside her burger as I clean up, but suddenly she back at the counter.)

Customer: “What is all this black stuff on the meat?”

Me: *taking a moment to process* “Oh, isn’t that seasoning?”

Manager: *who has approached to look too* “Yes, that is the seasoning we put on meat when we cook it.”

Customer: *now getting angry* “I told her I wanted NOTHING on my burger!”

Manager: “We can make one without seasoning but—”

Customer: *cuts him off* “I want a new burger! And I want it done right with nothing on it!”

(I raise my brows and look at the cook as my manager tries to get in that without seasoning the meat will be flavorless, but she won’t listen. She even moves close to the door of the restaurant where she can see back by the grill and watch the cook. And when I hand her the burger she unwraps it in front of me and my manager, smirking to herself when she finds no seasoning, and rolling her eyes at us for not “getting it right” the first time.)

Manager: *to me* “If she comes back up here, she’s not getting a new one.”

(The manager goes over to tell the cook as well, before standing back from the counter with his arms crossed and waits. Sure enough the women comes back up to complain about her flavorless burger being *drum roll* FLAVORLESS!)

Customer: “Can you redo this? It doesn’t taste… like anything. Like, cook it with the seasonings?”

Cook: “It’s already cooked. It gets the flavor while cooked with the seasonings.”

Customer: “Can you sprinkle some of the flavoring on?”

(The cook does so, but now it clearly just tastes like flavorless meat with peppercorns and spices sitting on top of it.)

Customer: “I want a new burger! This is disgusting!”

Manager: *moves back up to the counter* “We made two burgers for you now and you’ve been rude to my associates. YOU messed up. You can leave if you don’t wanna pay for your next burger. I don’t care!”

(The customer looks at all of us.)

Customer: “Can I get a chicken sandwich to replace it instead?”

Not Speaking Full English

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

Guest: *on the phone* “Do you serve hot breakfast?”

Me: “Yes, we serve a full Scottish breakfast.”

Guest: “So you don’t have any hot food? Like a full English?”

Me: “A full Scottish breakfast is basically the same as a full English, but you get haggis as well. And it’s a buffet so you can choose not to have that if you don’t want it.”

Guest: “So I can’t get eggs or sausages? You know, like in a full English.”

Me: “I assure you, our buffet has hot food. It is a full English, plus haggis.”

Guest: “But I can’t get eggs, ’cause it’s Scottish?”

Me: “…”

Guest: “It’s just continental, with muffins and stuff.”

Me: “The buffet has any number of breakfast items, but if you want something not available, you can ask the chef, and it won’t be a problem. Though I assure you, the buffet has hot, full English breakfast items. Such as eggs.”

Guest: “Okay, I’ll just ask the chef to make me a full English, then. Thank you.”

The Final Word On Passwords, Part 3

| NS, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a major telecommunications company that operates in Atlantic Canada as a customer service rep. A customer calls in and has a password on the account for verification (Instead of using D.O.B.))

Me: *after going through introductions, name and account number* “Thank you and for security purposes, can you confirm the password on the account?”

Customer: “Is it this?”

Me: “That isn’t the correct password on file.”

Customer: “Is it password?”

Me: “Unfortunately that is still incorrect.”

Customer: “I forget it.”

Me: “Well, we can’t go over any information unless you verify the password.”

Customer: “But I have a million passwords.”

Me: “Unfortunately, since I can’t verify you, you must go to a retail store location with photo ID and we can change or remove the password.”

Customer: “WHY SHOULD I USE TIME OUT OF MY DAY TO FIX YOUR PROBLEM?!”

Me: “Well, you chose the password and also chose not to add a hint. Policy states if you can’t verify yourself on your account you must prove you are who you say you are in store with picture ID.”

Customer: “YOU GUYS ARE CROOKS HIDING MY ACCOUNT INFORMATION FROM ME! I’M GOING TO [COMPETITOR COMPANY]!” *click*

Coworker: “Umm… did she seriously say she would disconnect because she didn’t know her own password?”

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2
The Final Word On Passwords