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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

The Tailgate Scandal

| Southampton, England, UK | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Popular

(In this particular car park, you take a ticket when you arrive — you can’t get past the barriers if you don’t — and then use the ticket afterwards to pay for how long you’ve been there. I’m waiting to pay for my parking, and a group of giggling girls, no older than 21 or so, approach the security guard.)

Girl #1: “So, like, we can’t get out; we don’t have a ticket.”

Guard: “You’ve lost your ticket? You can get a replacement—”

Girl #1: *giggles* “No, like, we never had one.”

Guard: “You… didn’t take one when you came in?”

Girl #1: *brightly* “Nope!”

Guard: “How did you get in?”

Girl #2: *clearly thinking that they were being smart* “We followed another car in!”

Guard: “So you tailgated another car in? Right, I see. You’ll have to call the control centre, and pay for a full 24 hours parking.”

Girl #1: “Uh, no. If we wanted to pay for parking, we would have just taken a ticket, right?”

Guard: “Yeah… You can either pay for a ticket, or you can go to jail. It’s your choice.”

Girl #1: “…How do we get a ticket?”

They Lost The Game

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Customer comes up to the counter with a Nintendo Amiibo figure of Sonic.)

Customer: “Hi, do you know which games this figure is compatible with?”

Me: *pulls up a list* “It works with Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS, Super Mario Maker, and Mario Kart 8.”

Customer: “What about Sonic Generations?”

Me: “Sorry, that game is on the Xbox 360; Amiibo figures only work on the Nintendo WiiU and New 3DS.”

Customer: “Well, I have a portable NFC reader.”

Me: “Again, that only works on the 3DS or 2DS.”

Customer: “I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work on my Xbox 360.”

Me: “The Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii U/3DS are made by totally different companies.”

Customer: “But they’re both video game consoles.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “Sir, the Xbox 360 is made by Microsoft and the Wii U and 3DS are both made by Nintendo. Microsoft and Nintendo don’t work together on game consoles and the two consoles don’t even play the same games.”

Customer: “But I’ve seen Sonic on both consoles.”

Me: “Yes, but Sonic Generations has never been on a Nintendo console, let alone the WiiU or 3DS. Even if it was, there’s no guarantee the Sonic amiibo would work with it.”

(Customer has blank stare.)

Customer: “Wait, what if I put the Sonic Generations disc in a Wii U?”

Me: “Nothing would happen.”

Customer: “Oh.” *walks away*

Me: “Next, please.”

(Another customer comes up to the counter with a copy of ‘Fallout 4’ for the Xbox One.)

Other Customer: “Does this work on mobile?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m going on break…”

Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A While

| New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

(I am serving a customer with curtain fabric.)

Me: “Do you know how much you need?”

Customer: “Yes, I measured it.” *peers at our set into the counter ruler* “But I didn’t use one like that; mine was different. That’s hard; mine was soft.”

Me: “You would have used a t—”

Customer: *talking over the top of me* “Yes, mine was different. It was longer, too. Will there be a difference because yours is shorter than mine? I’m sure it was longer. I think it was longer. Do you think it will make difference?”

Me: “Did you use a tape measure?”

Customer: “A what? I’m not sure what you mean”

Me: *holding up a tape measure* “Did you use something like this?”

Customer: “Yes, that was it, but mine was longer than this ruler. I’m sure it was longer”

Me: “Tape measures are a metre and a half long. Our ruler is only a metre.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s why. I was worried.”

Me: “So what was the measurement?”

Customer: “It was [measurement].”

Me: “Is that in centimetres or inches?”

Customer: “Is there a difference?”

Me: *mental face palm, holding tape measure* “This side is centimetres and the other is inches. Which side did you use?”

Customer: “Oh, the smaller one. I am sure I used the smaller one…”