Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Depressing Dressing

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A lady comes into the store.)

Customer: “What’s the dressing that you all put on your salad?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have about ten different salads.”

Customer: “Oh.” *stares at menu for a long time* “The fruity salad!”

Me: “Ma’am, do you mean the Strawberry Poppyseed salad?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “That has poppyseed dressing.”

Customer: *lady stares at me blankly, and then* “Is that the same dressing that you all put on the other salad?”

Me: “…”

Will Not Accept This Locker-Room Behavior

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work in a gym, and we got a new system to lock our lockers two months ago.)

Customer: “What is this s***?” *holding up the card she needs to open the locker*

Me: “Oh, it’s our new locker-system. You don’t have to get one key for each locker now, you can just go to any locker you want and unlock it.”

Customer: “But why didn’t you tell me before!? I was just trying to open these d*** lockers for a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we already changed it two months ago. I can’t keep asking everyone if they know how to open it, but I will come with you and show it to you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time anymore! Just give me my money back for this visit and let me leave!”

Me: “You are paying monthly like everyone else, so I can’t give you anything back.”

Customer: “I WANT 1/30TH OF MY MONTHLY PAYMENT BECAUSE I JUST LOST THIS DAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

(At this point I call my manager, and he explains him why he can’t get his money back. The customer breaks his card and just walks away.)

Manager: “Do you know his name?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Manager: “These cards cost €30 each; just put it on his next monthly payment and call me if he calls and complains…”

A Shocking Feat Of Counterfeit

| Athens, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money, Popular

(A customer walks in to get a coke and a candy bar.)

Me: “Good morning, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah, I want these.”

Me: *rings up his purchase* “Yes, sir, that will be [amount].”

(The customer lays down a bill. I pick it up and it’s a photocopied $500 bill that has no back. I stare in disbelief at the bill before looking back up at the customer.)

Customer: “Yeah, it’s real. Give me my change.”

Me: “Sir. Get the h*** out of my store.”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 24

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Popular

(Customer comes in to return a lipstick that is faulty. She takes a replacement lipstick and some other items.)

Me: “So, your total £8.50.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not right.”

Me: “Yep, the total of your items comes to £8.50.”

Customer: “What about my £6 return for the lipstick?”

Me: “Oh, well, you took another in replacement, so you won’t technically get your money back.”

Customer: “Why not? I wanted a refund. Where’s my £6?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m confused. Did you not want a new lipstick in return for your damaged one?”

Customer: “Yes, but I don’t understand where my £6 has gone?”

Me: “Well, you used it to pay for your replacement lipstick.”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “But I already paid for it? So why don’t I get my £6 back? It was faulty!“

Me: “Yes, madam, if you just take a look at the receipt, you’ll see that I’ve returned your faulty lipstick at £6, and then sold you back a new one, also at £6, so there’s no refund to give, you just have to pay for your additional items, which come to £8.50.”

Customer: “That’s so confusing. I don’t know why you’ve done it like that.”

(The customer reluctantly paid the £8.50, while muttering that it should definitely be £2.50 because of her £6 refund. She left telling me that she was going to be in contact with customer services. I wished her the best of luck.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 23
Refunder Blunder, Part 22
Refunder Blunder, Part 21

Swipeout

| Bristol, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(We’ve just had some new staff start, and I’m working in one of the aisles when one of them calls me over. In the UK, chip and pin has been used for many years now. Most people under a certain age have never had to use the swipe method.)

Coworker: “[My Name], what do I do when it says ‘swipe card’?”

Me: *coming over* “You use the magnetic strip on the card and swipe it on the side.”

(At this point I’m behind the till with her, and I take the customer’s card out of the machine to show her. The customer, an older woman, chimes in.)

Customer: “I don’t understand what’s wrong; I’ve always used this card this way.”

(It’s now I notice the card I’m holding is the wrong way round in the machine, which would made the machine think it didn’t have a chip and ask for a reinsert before giving up and asking for a swipe.)

Me: “This way?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “This is the wrong way round. This bit—” *points at the chip* “—needs to go in the machine.”

Customer: “No it isn’t! That bit—“ *points at the silver hologram logo on the card* “—goes in!”

(I don’t say anything. I cancel the card transaction and start it again so it lets the card be inserted. I put it in the correct way, the customer insisting it’s the wrong way. Surprise… it works. Once the customer has left, I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “Some people put their cards in the wrong way. Most of them realise. Some don’t.”

(I then explain to her how to tell from our side if the card is in the wrong way, and then what to do when there is a “swipe card”. We both agree that the customer was either too proud to admit she was wrong, or didn’t trust us because we are both quite young.)

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