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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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This Call Is Not Looking Good

, | Magdeburg, Germany | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m on the phone with a customer whose connection repeatedly syncs off, and basic troubleshooting hasn’t helped.)

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer], since you’re online now, I’d like to log into your router to see what kind of error messages it produces when the sync is off.”

Customer: “What, you can do that? You can read my emails? But isn’t this against the data protection law?”

Me: “You don’t have to worry. I can’t read your email. I can only log into your router’s logbook.”

(I proceed to explain what the logbook is for several minutes, until the customer consents.)

Me: “All right, it would seem that you get random timeouts and this is why it syncs off. I’ll try to fix it by reconfiguring your line. It’ll take several minutes; after that I’ll need you to restart your router for me.”

Customer: “All right, but answer me this question: can you see my apartment?”

Me: “Your apartment?”

Customer: “Well, yes. You can see my connection and log into my router, so I guess you can look at my apartment, right?”

Me: *jokingly* “No, sir, we can’t do that; this is the NSA’s job.”

Customer: *laughing* “Ah, okay, then it’s all right. But if you are looking, don’t worry, today I cleaned everything up.”

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Their Services Days Are Numbered, Part 2

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a well known auto insurance company helping customers update their policies over the phone. We get a lot of customers that let their policy cancel and call in to restart it, usually at a higher price.)

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know why my policy cancelled and you didn’t notify me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, let me take a look. It looks like we mailed out a notice on [date] that it would cancel on [future date].”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get it. You didn’t notify me.”

Me: “We did our best to notify you, sir.”

Customer: “Did you try to call me?”

Me: “We have [phone number]. Is that right?”

Customer: “No!” *getting noticeably angrier* “I have a new number, it is—”

Me: “Just to make sure everything else is up to date; we also have your address as [address].”

Customer: “No! You don’t have my new address? How come you don’t have my new address?!”

Me: “I apologize, sir; it is up to you to notify us of any change. Otherwise we don’t know.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel like I should be penalized since you guys didn’t have my correct address.”

(After multiple attempts to logically explain that we do not have any way of knowing you moved unless you tell us or update it online — we have one of the top rated user friendly insurance sites, which, by the way, you can also make payment on — I gave up and let him continue to rant for several more minutes as I restarted his policy.)

Related:
Their Services Days Are Numbered

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 48

| UT, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a popular clothing store where we also offer a brand credit card. We currently have a card-only coupon available to customers. I’m just finishing up a transaction with a customer, who has told me she has a card with us, but doesn’t have it with her. We do look-ups by social security number.)

Me: “Okay, so just enter your social right there and we should be able to pull the account up for you so you can use that coupon!”

(The customer enters her SSN, and the register pops up with a message saying that there is no account under that number. I have the customer try again, and the same message appears.)

Me: “Has it been a while since you used your card? They get shut down after a few months for security reasons.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, it might have been a few months now.”

Me: “All right, that’s fine! We can get you set up with a new card today if you want, and that way you’ll get the coupon, plus an additional percentage off for opening a card!”

Customer: “Okay… Yeah, let’s do that.”

(We go through the entire process, which includes swiping another credit card for the credit check, and answering a few confidential financial questions. In the end, she’s approved for the card.)

Me: “Awesome! So, you were approved again for the [Brand] Credit Card! In order to get the discount, you have to put this purchase on the new card, is that all right?”

Customer: “What? I didn’t know I was signing up for a credit card. I don’t want it anymore.”

Me: “But you said you had had one before…”

Customer: “I don’t want it!”

(In the end, there was nothing I could really do except give her the phone number to cancel the card in 24 hours. I’m still not quite sure how all the confusion happened.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45

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Just Look UPS

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at a copy shop with a UPS ship center. I am putting a package together at the ship counter one day, when a customer comes up…)

Customer: “Do you guys do UPS here?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Why don’t you have a sign?!”

Me: *didn’t say a word, just turned around and pointed to the four foot by eight foot sign that was directly behind me advertising that we ship UPS*

Customer: “Oh.”

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Not Understanding The Value Of The Dollar

| San Diego, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work at a local dollar store where everything is a dollar or less. A customer, around 18, comes up to the register with a couple items and a VISA gift card that can have $1-$100 put on it. She tells me she would like $50 on it so I ring her up.)

Me: “Your total will be $59.”

Customer: “No, that’s not right I only have eight items and this is the dollar store.”

Me: “Yes, but you put $50 on this gift card.”

Customer: “But this is the dollar store; I should be able to put how ever much I want on that and only pay a dollar.”

Me: “I don’t think it works like that…”

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