Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Too Much Meth, Not Enough Math

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money, Popular

Me: “Okay, just so you know, sir, a three-month supply of this medication is going to cost you about $400.”

Customer: “What?! No. You’re wrong. When I picked it up last it was a third of that!”

(I look up his payment and pick up history in the system.)

Me: “It looks like this new prescription is the same medication as the last but you’re allowed to pick up three months at a time instead of just one. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes! But it’s never this expensive!”

Me: “Well, you’re picking up more at one time which is why it is a higher cost.”

Customer: “No! You’re wrong. It’s not supposed to be this expensive!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t set the prices. Your insurance company tells us what to charge you based on your plan.”

(This commences a 10 minute rant about how this medication is too expensive and he KNOWS he shouldn’t owe this much because he has been in the industry for 20 years and has a PhD.)

Customer: “When I picked it up last month it was only $133! It shouldn’t be $400!”

Me: “So… you previously picked up a one month supply for $133? And you’re upset because this three-month supply is three times the cost of the one-month supply?”

Customer: “YES!”

(Sadly this man did not see the math and proceeded to stay for the next 45 minutes and tell me exactly what was wrong with the entire industry and why it was my fault. Unfortunately, I have more stories about this guy from this 45 minute encounter alone.)

Nine-Dum-Dum

| USA | Extra Stupid, Popular

(Upon answering the 911 line, I immediately prompt the caller to give me the address of the emergency where units are to respond out to. I’ve gotten the address and callback number, and have found out that a young girl is having a sudden onset of blindness and lethargy. The ambulance has been dispatched, and is en-route, and I’m trying to give post dispatch instructions when I hear loud noises, yelling, and what sounds like a car horn in the background.)

Me: “Ma’am, I need you to tell me what’s happening right now. What is that noise I’m hearing?”

Caller: “Oh, that’s my mom. She’s honking the horn at the other drivers.”

Me: “What other drivers? I thought you said you were with the patient?”

Caller: “I am. We’re driving to the hospital.”

Me: *trying not to sound exasperated* “Then why did you call for an ambulance to be dispatched to [Address]?”

Caller: “Oh…”

Need To Install A Listening Station

, | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am another customer in this case, observing. It is an extremely busy morning at the airport and there is a line of about 10 people for a coffee and pastry counter. This counter has a place to order, and a separate place to pick up and pay.)

Customer: *approaches the pay portion of the counter* “Is this where you order?”

Employee: “No, sir, you have to order down there.” *she indicates the large “ORDER HERE” sign hanging at the other end of the counter*

Customer: “I want a bagel, but I don’t want it cooked. Do you cook your bagels?”

Employee: “You can choose to have it toasted or not, if that’s what you mean. But you have to order down there.”

Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll have a plain bagel, not cooked, and a coffee.”

Employee: *at this point clearly flustered and just trying to move the guy along quickly* “Your total will be $6. Please stand off to the side and wait for that to be ready.”

Rated ‘R You Serious?’

| USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(I work at a movie theater.)

Customer: “Two tickets for [R-rated Movie].”

(The customer looks like a young teenager so I’m required to check his ID first.)

Me: “Sure, if your want to buy the tickets I’m just going to have to look at your ID first.”

Customer: “Come on, man. I’m not old enough.”

Me: “I can’t sell them to you, then. Sorry.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “Sorry, dude.”

Customer: “Come on, man.”

Me: “I really can’t…”

Customer: “Come on, man!”

His Friend: “Yeah, I don’t think that’s working.”

Filters Out All Useful Advice

| Manhattan, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(Our store sells “oil change specials” where if you buy five quarts of oil and filter in one transaction it will be reduced in price, in this case for less than what the oil cost alone.)

Customer: “I need oil for a [year of vehicle] [size of engine].”

(Assuming it is for the massive truck taking up two parking slots that is the correct vintage, I inform the customer that it takes five quarts of 5w-30 oil. The customer, by now back where the oil is, has picked out the brand of choice and is starting back towards the front.)

Me: “That oil is currently on special for $18.99 with a filter. Would you like to add one to your purchase?”

Customer: “No, I’ll get that later.”

(I inform him that it would be less expensive to buy them together today rather than on separate occasions… He still is not getting it and starts to show signs of frustration and annoyance. So I hold my tongue and check him out accordingly to his request.)

Me: “That’ll be $23.01 sir.”

Customer: “What?! But the sign says $18.99. Did taxes jump?!”

(I try to inform him again and decide it is best to just ring him out for the filter he needs and re-subtotal it.)

Me: “Okay, that’ll be $20.30.”

Customer: “Now that’s more like it.”

(I finish transaction and try to hand him the filter.)

Customer: “I don’t need that yet.” *grabs jug and leaves without receipt or filter*

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