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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Has Been PINked

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I am ringing up some souvenirs for a visitor.)

Me: “All right, your total is [amount].”

(Customer hands me a card. I swipe it.)

Me: “Is this credit or debit?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Me: “If you could just enter your PIN on the pad here…”

(The customer looks at a tattoo of four numbers on his arm, and then enters his PIN.)

Me: “Umm… excuse me, sir, do you have your PIN tattooed on your arm?”

Customer: “Well, how else am I supposed to remember it?”

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This Call Is Not Looking Good

, | Magdeburg, Germany | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m on the phone with a customer whose connection repeatedly syncs off, and basic troubleshooting hasn’t helped.)

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer], since you’re online now, I’d like to log into your router to see what kind of error messages it produces when the sync is off.”

Customer: “What, you can do that? You can read my emails? But isn’t this against the data protection law?”

Me: “You don’t have to worry. I can’t read your email. I can only log into your router’s logbook.”

(I proceed to explain what the logbook is for several minutes, until the customer consents.)

Me: “All right, it would seem that you get random timeouts and this is why it syncs off. I’ll try to fix it by reconfiguring your line. It’ll take several minutes; after that I’ll need you to restart your router for me.”

Customer: “All right, but answer me this question: can you see my apartment?”

Me: “Your apartment?”

Customer: “Well, yes. You can see my connection and log into my router, so I guess you can look at my apartment, right?”

Me: *jokingly* “No, sir, we can’t do that; this is the NSA’s job.”

Customer: *laughing* “Ah, okay, then it’s all right. But if you are looking, don’t worry, today I cleaned everything up.”

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Their Services Days Are Numbered, Part 2

| Tucson, AZ, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a well known auto insurance company helping customers update their policies over the phone. We get a lot of customers that let their policy cancel and call in to restart it, usually at a higher price.)

Customer: “Yeah, I want to know why my policy cancelled and you didn’t notify me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, let me take a look. It looks like we mailed out a notice on [date] that it would cancel on [future date].”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get it. You didn’t notify me.”

Me: “We did our best to notify you, sir.”

Customer: “Did you try to call me?”

Me: “We have [phone number]. Is that right?”

Customer: “No!” *getting noticeably angrier* “I have a new number, it is—”

Me: “Just to make sure everything else is up to date; we also have your address as [address].”

Customer: “No! You don’t have my new address? How come you don’t have my new address?!”

Me: “I apologize, sir; it is up to you to notify us of any change. Otherwise we don’t know.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t feel like I should be penalized since you guys didn’t have my correct address.”

(After multiple attempts to logically explain that we do not have any way of knowing you moved unless you tell us or update it online — we have one of the top rated user friendly insurance sites, which, by the way, you can also make payment on — I gave up and let him continue to rant for several more minutes as I restarted his policy.)

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Their Services Days Are Numbered