Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!


If Only You Could Hear Yourself

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I receive a call and I am unable to hear anything except for a loud static sound. In case the caller can hear me, I speak to let them know and request them to call from a different line. Two minutes later I get my next call.)

Caller: “I tried calling a couple of minutes ago, but you couldn’t hear me. I need to book my phone in for repair.”

Me: “That was me you spoke to. Sorry about earlier, but I honestly couldn’t hear anything you said. If I can just take your details so I can find you on the system we will get that repair booked for you.”

Caller: *gives details and confirms which of his phones is not working*

Me: “Okay, almost done. What is the fault on your phone?”

Caller: “When I am on a call, no-one can hear me – they just hear the same noise you heard earlier.”

Me: “And is that every call, or just some of them?”

Caller: “Every call.”

Me: “…”


It Just Doesn’t Click

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am a librarian. A patron comes up to the reference desk.)

Patron: “How can I print out pictures that I find on the web?”

Me: “Here, use this mouse and keyboard, and I’ll walk you through an example. Here’s a random picture that I found on the Internet. Press Control+P and watch what happens… Okay, good! You’re looking at the print dialog box. Now, don’t do this part now, but when you’re in the computer lab doing this with a picture you actually want to print, you’ll click the Print button.”

Patron: “And then it will print?”

Me: “Yes. Don’t click Print now, but when you’re in the lab, you’ll click Print and your picture will print out downstairs.”

Patron: *click*

Me: “…aaand here’s your complimentary printout of a random picture.”


Brushing Common Sense Aside

| OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a company that handles warranty replacements for customers.)

Me: “Thanks for calling Customer Support. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My toothbrush is not turning on.”

Me: “We can sure look at that. Can you give me the model and serial number off the bottom of the brush?”

Customer: “I do not have it with me; I’m at work.”

(Note we have to have the model number and serial number to replace the product.)

Me: “Calling us without the handle is like going to a car place and asking for an oil change, but leaving the car at home.”

Customer: “So I need to have the handle with me?”


Stuck In A Vicious Bicycle

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(We work in a single-story building. Our store is a little smaller than others of the same chain in the area. I am rearranging the lawnmowers when a woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me; I can’t seem to find the bicycles.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry bicycles in this store. We have a bicycle section with some small things, but you have to go to [Other Location] for actual bikes.”

Woman: “No, your BICYCLES. I need a bicycle.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry them.”

Woman: “YES, you DO!”

Me: “Our other stores do. Our store is too small.”

Woman: “I saw them YESTERDAY. Ugh.”

Me: “Really? Where?”

Woman: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Maybe you were at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “You’re not LISTENING. Just show me the bicycle section.”

(I lead her to the bicycle section where we have a few spare tires, pumps, etc.)

Woman: No, where your BICYCLES ARE.

Me: *frustrated* “OHHH, our BICYCLES! Sorry, I didn’t understand. You are looking for our bicycles, but not at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “YES, FINALLY!”

Me: “The bicycles are upstairs!”


(She stormed off. I alerted the rest of our team about the crazy lady and fess up to sending her to our nonexistent upstairs. I got scolded later. Worth it.)


Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 7

| Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a video game store who allows customers to trade in games. I answer the phone.)

Me: “This is [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto V and it’s all scratched up and won’t work. Can I trade it in for a new one?”

Me: “Did you get the warranty? If not you can trade it in for something but we will mark it as defective.”

Customer: “No. I bought it at [Different Store]. I just wanted to trade it for another one.”

Me: “So you want a straight trade for another copy? Even though you bought it at [Different Store]?”

Customer: “Yeah. I need a new one since mine doesn’t work.”

Me: “Yeah… that’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “Really? Why not?”

Me: “Have a good night.” *hangs up and turns to my manager* “I think I have had my daily dose of stupid for the day…”

Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4

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