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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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The Final Word On Passwords, Part 4

| MS, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I often have to reset passwords on various systems. Because of strict password restrictions, these systems require lowercase, CAPS, numbers, etc. To make it easy on users, we always reset to “Password123” without quotes. This is a very typical phone call:)

Me: “All right, I’ve reset your password. The new password is ‘Password123’ with a capital ‘P’.”

User: “That didn’t work.”

Me: “Are you sure you typed it in correctly? It’s the word ‘Password’ with only the ‘P’ capitalized and the numbers ‘123’ after. There are no spaces.”

User: “No, that still didn’t work. Do I have to type in my username?”

Me: “Yes, you use your same username, and where it asks for the password, it’s ‘Password123’ with the ‘P’ capitalized.”

User: “I know; I’m typing in what you tell me but it isn’t working.”

Me: “Are you sure your CAPS Lock is not on?”

User: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Me: “Can you tell me exactly what you are typing in as you type it?”

User: “p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d-1-2-3-c-a-p-i-t-a-l-p”

Me: “Okay, it isn’t the phrase “capitalp” at the end. The word ‘Password’ has a capitalized letter ‘P’ at the beginning.”

User: “Oh! Okay. P-p-a-s-s-w-o-r-d-1-2-3. Nope, that still didn’t work.”

Related:
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 3
The Final Word On Passwords, Part 2
The Final Word On Passwords

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Failed A Number Of Times

| Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(My office phone number is the inverse of a shelter, so we get wrong numbers all the time.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Office]. How may I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I need to talk to [Shelter Manager].”

Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number. Their number is 1122. Ours is 2211.”

Client: “Is it? Oh, I’m sorry. Thank you!” *hangs up*

(The phone rings 10 seconds later.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Office]. How may I help you?”

Client: “Hi, I need to talk to [Shelter Manager].”

Me: “Hi again! I’m sorry, but you still have the wrong number. Their number is 1122.”

Client: “What? Oh, geez, I called 2211 again! Sorry!” *hangs up*

(The phone rings 10 seconds later.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Office]. How may I help you?”

Client: “Not you again!”

Me: “Yup, me again.”

Client: “Sorry, SORRY!” *hangs up*

(The phone rings 10 seconds later.)

Me: *skipping my normal intro* “Hi, let me guess, still trying for [Shelter Manager] at 1122?”

Client: “SON OF A—” *click*

(The phone rings 10 seconds later.)

Me: “Hi again!”

Client: *loud string of expletives followed by a phone slam*

(The phone rings 10 seconds later.)

Me: “Hi once again!”

Client: *loud ARGH followed by a few seconds of silence* “Can you… please… repeat that number to me… PLEASE?”

Me: “Sure, it’s 1122!”

Client: “Thank you… I am so… SO sorry.” *hangs up*

(I think they got it that time!)

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We Can Guarantee The Cow Was Vegan

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I am an employee at a burger place.)

Customer: “Hi, do you have any vegan beef patties?”

Me: “Well, we offer a veggie burger and a tofu burger.”

Customer: “No, I want beef.”

Me: “Yes, we have beef patties…”

Customer: “Okay, but do you have vegan beef patties?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: “Ugh, why is it so hard to find?!”