icon_extrastupid

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

icon_extrastupid

Brain-Fried

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(The office building where I work has a deli in the basement. I’m standing in line behind a coworker. It is my coworker’s turn to order.)

Deli Attendant: “May I help you?”

Coworker: “Yes. Is there chicken in the chicken fried rice?”

Deli Attendant: “…”

Me: *to coworker* “Seriously?”

Coworker: “Yeah, that’s not what I meant to say. I don’t know what I wanted to ask.”

icon_healthbody

MRI: Moronically Resisting Information

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology, Trigger Story

(I work in an outpatient medical imaging facility where we do MRIs, X-rays, ultrasounds, etc. Every exam we do must be ordered by a physician. These physicians oftentimes don’t know the machinery like we do and sometimes answer their patients’ questions incorrectly. For reference: an MRI machine is a long tube with both ends being open. An open MRI machine is open on three sides and is easier for claustrophobic patients to handle. This patient calls in with some questions before her exam.)

Patient: “My doctor told me your machine was an open MRI.”

Me: “I’m sorry; he was mistaken. Our machine is the regular tube-like kind.”

Patient: “But he said it was open!”

Me: *knowing this doctor knows our machine is not the open kind* “I’m sorry, but it’s not. I don’t know why he would have told you that.”

Patient: “I’m severely claustrophobic! I can’t be in a tube!”

Me: “I understand. I’d recommend talking to your doctor about taking some kind of sedation. Most of our claustrophobic patients can get through their exam when they’ve taken a mild sedative beforehand. Your doctor would need to prescribe that for you.”

Patient: “But he said it was an open MRI!”

Me: “Yes… I understand he said that, but I’m sorry. It’s not.”

Patient: “I’m claustrophobic! I can’t go in that little tube!”

Me: “You could go to [Local Hospital] and have your MRI there. They can do complete sedation, which is unfortunately something we do not offer. Again, you would need to talk to your doctor about that.”

Patient: “But he specifically told me your machine was an open MRI! I can’t do the tube!”

(We go on in circles like this for a few minutes, she saying her doctor told her our machine was open and me reiterating that it isn’t. Finally, I get fed up.)

Me: “Ma’am, we’re not going to make you have this exam. If you feel you can’t handle our machine, we are not going to force you to get into it. I’ve told you it is not an open MRI and I’ve given you several options for handling your claustrophobia during the exam. I don’t know what it is you want me to do.”

Patient: “My doctor said your machine is an open MRI!”

Me: *head-desk*

 

Dear readers! This story was originally submitted without a title, to encourage you to come up with a witty submission yourselves. After considering the many amazing suggestions in the comments section, we have come up with the title above. Thank you all for participating; we had a blast reading them!

icon_petsanimalsdogscats

Getting To The Meat Of The Problem

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I am a receptionist at a vet clinic. Sometimes I get calls from clients with… less than a full deck of cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Clinic]. This is [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Client: “Yeah, uh, I haven’t ever been there before but my dog has been having diarrhea for, like, two weeks and I’m wondering what I should do.”

Me: “If your dog has had diarrhea for that long it could be an indication of a serious medical condition. Has he been eating and drinking normally, sir?”

Client: “Yeah, he’s drinking and he eats his meat fine.”

Me: “Meat? What kind of dog food are you feeding him?”

Client: “Well, I read online that dogs eat meat so I buy him turkey from the grocery store. He likes it better than the kibble.”

Me: “When did you make this change in his diet?”

Client: “About two weeks ago. Why?”

icon_money

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47

| Manchester, NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m working with a particularly impatient customer who just wants to upgrade but I’ve been having issues with the system. After calling several tech departments, I finally discover what the problem is.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks as though you previously held an account with us that has gone into collections. Due to issues with our system at the time that you set up this new account, it has gone unnoticed until now. Unfortunately we will not be able to upgrade your phones until that account has been paid in full.”

Customer: “But that doesn’t make any sense. It was three years ago. They need to forget it.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not how debt works. You still owe us money and we can’t extend any more credit until it’s paid.”

Customer: *yelling now* “BUT IT WAS THREE YEARS AGO! IT SHOULD BE GONE!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not gone until you pay it.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I’m going to another carrier. You just lost a customer.”

Me: “That’s very unfortunate, ma’am, and I’m sorry you feel that way. Would you like the number of the collection agency so you can pay us what you owe us?”

Customer: *takes phone number and attempts to dramatically storm out*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 45
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

icon_hotels

Not Enough (Bath)Room

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(We sometimes host summer camps for kids in our dormitory over the summer when there are not students living here. I am checking in an adult man who is here as a counselor.)

Me: “All right, you’re in room 291. That’s on the second floor, and here’s your room key. This is your meal card; it will work in our upstairs dining hall. The elevators are to your right.”

(The man goes to his room. About 15 minutes later, he’s back.)

Customer: “Where is the bathroom, and what’s the code?”

(Our community bathrooms require people to punch a code into the door so that only men can get into the men’s bathroom and only women can get into the women’s bathroom.)

Me: “You’re in 291, right?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “291 has a connecting bath. It’s in the room.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t see it.”

Me: “Let me check for you.” *I pull up the floor plan and confirm that his room is does indeed have a connecting bath.* “Yes, sir, you do have a connecting bath. You’ll share it with the person in the next room over like a Jack-and-Jill bathroom. When you walk into your room, there will be two closets on your right and then a brown door. That door leads to the bathroom.”

Customer: “Oh, thanks.” *walks away.*

Coworker: “Did he really miss that?”

Me: “Apparently. I’m not sure how since it’s a 14 x 14 foot room.”

Page 45/356First...4344454647...Last