Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

“Birth” Defect

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

A Hot Slice Of Common Sense, Part 3

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(Two conversations I have on a scarily regular basis in my pizza shop:)

Me: “Can I grab a phone number, please?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, hold on. It’s [number].”

Me: “That’s our number; I need your number, please.”

(Later:)

Me: “Can I grab a name for the order, please?”

Customer: “Isn’t it already called the Meat Lovers?”

Related:
A Hot Slice Of Common Sense, Part 2
A Hot Slice Of Common Sense

My Oh My Documents

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(We have a self-service computer in the store, in which customers can pay per minute to check their email, browse the web, and print or scan files.)

Customer: “I need help scanning; I don’t know what I’m doing.”

(I show her how to scan.)

Me: “And then when it’s done, it’ll just save the file to ‘My Documents’, and that’s where you can get it from when you attach it to your email.”

Customer: “‘My Documents’!? Well I already have it saved there!”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “I have it saved at home in ‘My Documents’ so I don’t even have to scan it!”

Me: “Yes, you do. If it’s saved at home, you won’t be able to get it here.”

Customer: “Why did you tell me that I could, then?”

Me: “I didn’t. I said it would save the file to ‘My Documents’. That’s just a folder on the computer.”

Customer: “Yes, but I have ‘My Documents’ at home, too, so it’s already saved!”

Me: “No. There is a ‘My Documents’ on everyone’s computer. You can’t open the files on your computer, from this one.”

No Point Crying Over Spilled Milk Chocolate

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “How much is that?” *pointing to case*

Me: “I’m sorry, which piece?”

Customer: “The dark chocolate.”

(We have about ten dark chocolate choices.)

Me: “Oh, did you mean [product].”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well they’re fifty dollars a pound and each piece usually is about two dollars.”

Customer: “Fifty dollars each?!”

Me: “No, that’s for a pound. A individual is around two dollars; we weigh each individually.”

Customer: “Well, how many are in a pound?”

Me: “20-25, depending on weight.”

Customer: “How much would that be?”

Me: “For a pound, that would be fifty.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just get these then.”

(She picks out a product where she has a choice of milk or dark or white chocolate.)

Me: “Okay would you like milk, dark, or white?”

Customer: “Hmm, I’ll go with milk.”

(I start to pick the milk.)

Customer: “No, I wanted the milk one!”

(I handed her the white chocolate and made the transaction and then lost all faith in humanity.)

Their Intelligence Is At Death’s Door

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(I walk up to the doors to go inside a store. I notice the regular automatic doors are marked as OUT OF SERVICE so I use the old-fashioned, manual doors. When I get inside I notice there is someone on a ladder working on the automatic doors, hence the reason they are out of order. After watching the worker for a while I see some confused customers trying to come in through the obviously closed automatic doors.)

Me: *to the worker* “You’d think they’d never used regular doors before.”

Worker: “You’d be surprised at how many people I’ve seen just leave because the automatic doors were out of order.”

Me: “Sadly… probably not.”

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