Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

It’s Going To Take A Long Black Time

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’ll have a long black, please.”

Me: “Sure, was that regular or large?”

Customer: “A long black.”

Me: “Yep, and would you like that regular or large?” *shows sizes*

Customer: “Oh, regular, and to eat in.”

Me: “Not a problem. That’s a regular long black. If you’d like to take a seat I’ll bring it out to you.”

(I bring a long black out to the table.)

Customer: “Oh. I wanted a macchiato. Don’t you do those here?”

Not-So-Smartphone, Part 15

| QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I’m working at the front desk of a popular computer repair store that also repairs phones. It’s my first week working on front desk as I’m usually out the back fixing the computers. The owner and manager of the store is out here to supervise me. A man walks in wearing business casual and wanders around, looking at the display computers before coming to me.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, yeah. I was wondering if you guys did phones?”

Me: “We sure do. What type of phone is it and what’s wrong with it?”

(He hands me the latest in a particular phone line. it’s pretty obvious what happened as the screen has smashed and one of the corners is dented. I put it down on the desk.)

Me: “All right, we’ll get right onto that. May I have your name?”

Customer: *completely ignoring my question* “How long do you think it will take?”

Me: “Screen replacements usually take about an hour. May I have your name?”

Customer: “Okay, cool.”

(He picks his phone up off the desk and makes towards the door.)

Me: “Uh, sir…?”

(He doesn’t listen and keeps walking out, exiting the building.)

Me: *turning to the manager* “Uh, did he just…?”

Manager: “Yep. He’ll be back.”

(Around an hour later, he returned and demanded to know if his phone had been fixed yet. It, of course, wasn’t and he berated me for being stupid and lazy even though he took the phone with him. My manager, previously having gone back to his office, came out to defend me and banned the customer from the store after he made a scene and broke one of our display computers. My manager bought me lunch after that.)

Related:

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 14

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 13

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 12

He’s Horsing Around

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I help out at a friend’s riding stable. It’s not uncommon for people whose only experience with horses is watching Bonanza reruns on TV to then claim to be experienced riders.)

Me: “Have you had much riding experience?”

Customer: “Yeah, I know all about horses! Bring me a good, fast one.”

(I saddle a decent horse and bring him out for this guy.)

Customer: “How do I get on?”

Double The Trouble

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “What’s the difference between the single fajita and the double fajita?”

Me: “The single one is for one person, where the double is usually shared as it is double the meat.”

Customer: “So you get two fajitas with the double?”

Me: “Well, no. It’s just double the meat on the skillet, which two or more people usually share.”

Customer: “So, it’s two skillets.”

Me: “No, it’s one skillet but it has double the meat.”

Customer: “So it’s meant for one person?”

Me: “No, it’s usually shared. You can have one for yourself, but it’s traditionally split.”

Customer: “So it comes on two skillets?”

Me: “No. One skillet. Double meat.”

Customer: “Okay, we want a double chicken fajita, but on separate skillets.”

Me: “So… two single chicken fajitas?”

Customer: “Yes, that sounds perfect!”

The Price Very Gradually Goes Down

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I’m the clueless customer, and have had a long day at work myself. I am dealing with “Teenitude” from my loving offspring and purchasing Teacher Appreciation gifts for said offspring’s teachers, so I am feeling VERY overwhelmed. A WONDERFUL associate has helped offspring and me pick out and find matching scents for sets.)

Cashier: “WOW! That’s a lot of sanitizer and lotion.”

Me: “Oh, just a few gifts for the teachers and staff at [Offspring’s School]. It’s Teacher Appreciation Week next week.” *smiles*

Cashier: “That is so nice of you. Looks like you have more than enough to qualify for some current discounts and specials. Do we send you e-mails?”

Me: “Yes, I get them all the time.” *still smiling*

Cashier: “Do you have your smart-phone with you?”

Me: “Yes.” *still smiling but not moving*

Cashier: *looking at me expectantly* “Can you pull up one of our emails?”

Me: “Uh… sure.” *confused*

Cashier: *sees [Company] email header, types a bit on her register* “Okay, great! Your total is [$50 less than original amount].”

Me: “Oh, my god!” *realization finally dawning on me* “Thank you!”

(Having in the past worked for another branch of the parent company I SHOULD have known in order to receive the discounts, she HAD to see at least one of the email offers. Thank you, super-helpful associates, for being so kind, understanding and walking me through my blonde moment without making me feel like a complete idiot. I referred her to Not Always Right.)

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