Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in tech support for an Internet company, taking calls for installers that are having issues with the install. The following is a call I receive.)

Me: “What kind of issue are you having?”

Caller: “I am not able to get on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.”

(I pause a moment to confirm the modem is provisioning.)

Me: “The modem is provisioned correctly. Have you checked your IP address?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Do you know how to check for the IP?”

Caller: “Negative.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What operating system are you using?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Vista, 7, XP?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Okay, what does your start button look like? Round with the Windows logo in the center?”

Caller: “You mean the circle with the rainbow looking thing in the center?”

Related:

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 29

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 28

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 27

To Protect And To Steal

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a donut shop in lower Manhattan. A clearly homeless guy in a police uniform walks in holding clearly a fake gun.)

Homeless Man: “Give me all your money! This is police business!”

(I slowly start filling a bag with money, but before I do so, my coworker calls the police. Eventually, the police arrive, and as they do the homeless man begins to pretend to be a police officer trying to find the suspect.)

Homeless Man: *groaning* “Now where’d that man go. He must be gone. Too bad.”

(He ended up getting arrested and turned out to be a former police officer trying to find some cash.)

Should Have Been More Frank(lin)

| USA | Extra Stupid, History

(I work at a presidential home, and in our gift shop we have a fandex that lists all the presidents to date. As I was ringing up a customer, this happened.)

Woman: *looking at fandex* “George Washington wasn’t a president!”

Me: *struggles to keep a straight face as she argues about this with her companion and eventually comes to the conclusion that she meant Benjamin Franklin*

Just Skate Right On Over The Facts

| UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a fishmonger in a well-known supermarket and a middle age woman approaches me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some skate; do you have any?”

Me: “I’m afraid skate is actually critically endangered now. It’s unlikely that you will ever be able to get skate again, but some other stores may sell different types of ray.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll come back next week, then.”

“Birth” Defect

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

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