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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid

(It’s late in the afternoon and I’m preparing to close the store of the night. One of the tasks that must be completed in the last hour before closing is the vacuuming. As I’m doing this, a woman approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I just like vacuuming for kicks.”

(At this point the customer stops, clearly confused, and stares open-mouthed.)

Customer: “Really?”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 20

| San Diego, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(My department is small so when we go on lunch that there’s no one at our register. I go on lunch and leave a sign saying when I will return. Once I come back I find a box with a note attached sitting at my register.)

Note: “Hello, I’m looking to refund/return the items enclosed. You were out on lunch. Reason: Fit of the henleys and one duplicate shirt purchased. My receipt is attached. I can be contacted at [number]. Thank You.

(Customer calls an hour after I get back.)

Customer: “So did you return my stuff?”

Me: “Sir, anyone could have taken your merchandise before I returned to process it. You should have waited and come back another time.”

Customer: “But did you do it?”

Me: *sighs* “I returned your items and the money will be back on your card in three business days. But it was a really bad—”

Customer: *hangs up*

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 19
Refunder Blunder, Part 18
Refunder Blunder, Part 17

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Bringing This Conversation To A Cold Stop

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(It’s a busy lunch hour and this couple orders two meals. After paying for their order they also request that their sandwiches are fresh. We have them sit down and tell them we will run their order out to them when it comes up. About ten minutes after receiving their food the customer comes back up and we have this conversation:)

Customer: “This is the second time I’ve come up here. I said I wanted my food fresh, and this sandwich is cold.” *this is only the first time she has come up since receiving her food*

Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am. It was made fresh when you asked for it, however.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. My burger is cold.”

Me: “Well, we keep both our tomatoes and our cheese cold, which is probably why your sandwich got cold.” *not to mention that she let it sit untouched for ten minutes*

Customer: “But I asked for it fresh.”

Me: “It was made fresh. But the cold tomatoes and cheese are going to make your burger cold.”

Customer: “I want it made again.”

Me: “That’s fine. We can make it again, but it’s going to end up the exact same way unless you want us to leave the tomatoes and cheese off. We can put them on the side for you, if you’d like.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want that.”

Me: *offering her back the original sandwich* “Then you’re just going to end up with this again.”

Customer: “But that’s cold.”

Me: “Right, because of the cold tomato and cheese. So do you want me to make it with the tomato and cheese on the side, or do you want this sandwich back?”

Customer: *I could see her thinking really hard about the offer I just made* “I want it remade.”

Me: “With the tomato and cheese on the side?”

Customer: *long pause* “Yes.”

(She didn’t come back up after that, thankfully. I didn’t think I could handle another ride on the merry-go-round.)

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A Tender Bender

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have any chicken tenders?”

Me: “I have some cooking right now. They’ll be out in just a couple minutes!”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll wait.”

(Once the tenders are done, I bring them out to see the same customer waiting. I place the tenders in the hot case.)

Customer: “Are those tenders fresh?”

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Who Watches The Watch Orders?

| Manila, Philippines | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(We work in the disputes department for one of the biggest credit card companies in the States. And every now and then we get to interact with customers who are clueless about their dispute.)

Colleague: “Thank you for calling [Bank].”

Customer: “I’m disputing this charge… This company sent me the wrong watch model!”

Colleague: “I’m sorry to hear that you’ve received the wrong type of watch, ma’am. Have you tried to contact the merchant to have the watch replaced with the right model?”

Customer: “No! Can you dispute this or not?”

Colleague: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we need to make sure first that the merchant had exhausted all the options they have to assist you before we can dispute this charge, as once we do, the merchant can easily refute your claim stating you never contacted them to get assistance. Anyway, may I know what model of watch you’re supposed to receive?”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW!”

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