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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 19

| Dedham, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

Customer: “Excuse me, do you work here?”

Me: “Nope.”

Customer: “Great, could you help me with something?”

Me: “I don’t work here.”

Customer: “Where do you keep your appliances?”

Me: “Third floor.”

(We were on the ground floor, where they actually are. The store only has two floors.)

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 17
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 16

Bad Customers Are Forever, Forever

| KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(A customer is wanting to look at rings, so I take a few out of the case.)

Customer: “This ring is too big. It’s a size seven.”

Me: “We offer free ring resizing.”

Customer: “That takes a few weeks. I don’t want to wait that long. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s stupid. Show me that ring.”

(I take another ring out of the case and look at the tag.)

Me: “This one is also a size seven. I believe all the ladies’ rings in our case are a size seven.”

Customer: “That’s really stupid. Why would they do that? Show me that ring.”

(I get another ring out of the case. It is also a size seven. This repeats a few more times.)

Customer: “I have a question. The box says ‘diamond simulant,’ but the tag says ‘cubic zirconia.’ So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to any diamond substitute, while cubic zirconia is the specific kind.”

Customer: “No, they’re different. They’re made differently.”

(I try to explain again.)

Customer: “No, they’re different. So which is it?”

Me: “Diamond simulant is a generic term that refers to all diamond substitutes, while cubic zirconia is the specific type.”

Customer: “Ma’am, you’re not listening to me.”

Me: “YOU’RE not listening to ME!”

Customer: “Look, I don’t want to debate this.”

(At this point, I take a deep breath. I’ve recently been written up a few times, once more and I’m fired, so I’m trying to be on my best behavior.)

Me: *putting on my biggest smile, and my over-friendly voice* “Okay…”

Customer: “You’re wrong.”

(I finish up the rest of the transaction with my fake smile and overly friendly fake voice. I have a degree in geology, and have taken a few gemstone courses. I felt like asking her where she got her degree.)

Plainly Didn’t Order That

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I’m sitting at a table in a small café. The lady behind the counter puts two orders on the pickup counter and calls out what they are.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I didn’t really hear what you said. What are these orders?”

Worker: “This is a breakfast sandwich with hash browns and this is a plain bagel with butter.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s what those are?”

Worker: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “Well, it’s just that I didn’t order a plain bagel with butter.”

Worker: “Well, then it’s somebody else’s order.”