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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Won’t Accept Your Olive Branch

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in a pizza shop, and an irate customer has just brought his pizza back up to the counter to my coworker.)

Customer: “I ordered this pizza WITHOUT mushrooms, and it is completely covered in mushrooms!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m very certain that pizza has no mushrooms on it. It contains all the meats, onions, black olives, and cheese.”

Customer: “And I’m telling you I see mushrooms all over it.” *lifts up cheese and displays a black olive* “See? Right HERE!”

Coworker: “Sir, that is a black olive.”

Customer: “I know what a god-d*** f****** mushroom looks like, so don’t tell me that!”

Coworker: “Very well, sir, I’ll remake the pizza and give you free drink refills while you wait.”

Customer: “Just hurry up, then!”

(I remade the pizza, once again without mushrooms. Customer receives his pizza and starts the same dialogue again. Since this was before smart phones or even the Internet, it was not possible to bring up a picture of an actual mushroom to show the customer what an idiot he was being.)

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 25

, | Germany | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

Customer: “Hello, I need help. I can’t connect with my WiFi router.”

Coworker: “Are you connected via LAN or via WiFi?”

Customer: “WiFi.”

Coworker: “How far are you from your router?”

Customer: “About half a meter.”

Coworker: *already confused* “What kind of router do you use?”

(The customer names an expensive and reliable brand.)

Coworker: “All right, can you try and connect your router with a LAN cable?”

Customer: “I’ll have to go search for one in the car—”

(At this point Coworker hears funny noises.)

Coworker: “Oh, these are funny noises. Are you in your garden?”

Customer: “No, I’m out fishing.”

Coworker: “And you want to get WiFi?”

Customer: “Well, yes, of course, so I packed my router and took it with me. This is how it works, right?”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 24
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 23
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 22

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Thankful To Know True History

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Holidays, Popular

(The store I work at has a lot of merchandise from around the world. We sell almost everything from furniture and home decor to food, kitchen needs, and even toys. A lady in her 40s comes up to my register and she’s very friendly. She strikes up a conversation.)

Me: “Did you find everything all right, ma’am?”

Customer: “I did! You guy have so many cool things here.”

Me: “That we do, ma’am. Getting ready for Thanksgiving, I see?”

Customer: “Oh, yes! Actually I homeschool my kids so I thought this was a great opportunity to teach them a little more about history.”

Me: “That’s a really good idea, gives them a little hands-on learning.”

Customer: “Exactly! I’m making it as authentic as I can. A first century Thanksgiving! I want my kids to experience how Jesus had his Thanksgiving.”

(I am so absolutely speechless that I just smile and finish with the transaction. She pays, thanks me, and then leaves. My coworker who is standing close by walks up.)

Coworker: “I’m actually really worried for her children’s education. Especially since she thinks Jesus had a Thanksgiving regardless that it was more than a thousand years after he died…”

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Need To Do Their Homework

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work as a cashier in a small retail shop. My job is also to answer and take phone calls.)

Caller: “Am I thirty minutes away from you?”

Me: “Where are you calling from?”

Caller: “My house.”

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Not A Morning Person

| OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Time

(I am a receptionist in a doctor’s office. A patient has finished seeing the doctor, and as approached my desk to make another follow up appointment.)

Me: “Hi there, [First Name]. It looks like you need to come back in a month. Do you have a day of the week that you like better than another?”

Patient: “Nope! I’m retired now and free as a bird! Any day of the week is fine.”

Me: “Okay, I have the 12th of next month; that’s a Tuesday.”

Patient: “Oh, no, Tuesdays are no good. I have charity meetings on Tuesdays.”

Me: “Okay, how about the next day, the 13th? That’s a Wednesday.”

Patient: “Ooooo, you know what? I get my hair done on Wednesdays.”

Me: “How about the 14th, Thursday?”

Patient: “No, Thursdays aren’t good, either. I babysit my granddaughters on Thursdays. How about that Friday?”

Me: “Okay, Friday the 15th it is. Would you like a morning or an afternoon appointment?”

Patient: “As early as possible.”

Me: “You’re in luck; I have a slot available on the 15th at 8 am.”

Patient: “Oh, gosh, no! That’s much too early. How about around lunchtime?”

(She does this every time she’s in. You’d think I would have learned by now!)

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