Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Insert Inert

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Popular

(I am at a shoe shop that sells special inserts. I’m the only customer in the shop, and the only [visible] employee on duty is being very helpful.)

Me: “Thanks, so will these inserts do?”

Employee: “Yeah. Now, when you insert them in your shoes, remember to place it this way.” *he picks up a shoe and demonstrates* “With the arch placed where your foot’s arch will be. If you don’t put them in right, it could mess with your hips when you walk.”

Me: “Right… that’s fairly obvious, isn’t it?”

Employee: “Oh, you’d be surprised at the people I’ve seen. One lady came back to the shop complaining about pain in her legs, and it turned out she’d put in her inserts completely backward. I was kind of impressed with how she managed to squeeze the inserts inside those shoes without noticing they didn’t fit that way. So, now I make sure customers know how to put them in correctly. I’m not taking any chances with my job ever again.”

It’s Going To Be A Long Weight

| Dunbar, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I am a cashier.)

Customer: “Excuse me… but why does that say I am being charged $2.91 for these bananas when they are only 44 cents a pound?”

(I look at the screen to see that the customer confused the weight of the bananas, 2.91, with the price he was being charged, $1.44.)

Me: “No, sir. That’s the weight. The price that you are being charged is here.” *I point to $1.44 on the screen*

Customer: “I know that. But why does it say that I am being charged $2.91 for these bananas?”

(Since I am new at the store, I started to think that this was a prank being done by a few friends of mine who got me the job.)

Me: “No, that’s the weight. Not the price. The price you will be paying is $1.44.”

(At this point, I take my finger and walk the customer through what is on the screen, which looks something like this: 2.91 lbs. X .44 [price per pound] = $1.44)

Customer: “I know that’s the weight—” *points to the weight* “—that’s what I am being charged—” *points to $1.44* “—but why am I still going to pay 2.91?”

Me: “Sir, that’s the weight. Not what you will be paying.”

Next Customer In Line: “Oh, my god!” *picks up his groceries and leaves*

(I am working one of the express lanes and have a line of about five customers, not including the current customer. After this latest exchange, I noticed that my line is completely gone. At this point, I am out of things to say and do.)

Customer: “OH! THAT’S THE WEIGHT! SO I’M PAYING $1.44!”

(After this sudden revelation, I quickly rang the customer’s remaining items and sent him on his way!)

Off-The-Shelf Remarks

, | Oslo, Norway | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(In our store, fresh fruit and vegetables are right through the only entrance. The section is quite large and you have to walk several meters through it to reach other parts of the store. My deli counter is at the innermost part of the store itself. A male customer in his thirties comes up to the counter just after opening.)

Me: “Good morning, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Where are your vegetables?”

Me: “Oh, did you mean our frozen vegetables? You can find them in the freezers over in that corner.” *points in the direction of the freezers*

Customer: *suddenly quite irritated* “No, I meant fresh vegetables. Don’t you have any?”

Me: *a bit perplexed* “Uhm, yes we do. They are at the entrance, where you came in.”

Customer: *now angry* “Well, I didn’t see any when I came in! You need to start stocking more vegetables, when people can’t even see where they are!”

Me: *giving up* “Let me just show you…”

(I lead the customer back to the entrance and show him our bulging shelves.)

Me: “Was there anything in particular I could help you find?”

(The customer just stares blankly at me, before hurriedly exiting through the entrance, almost knocking over several entering customers on his way. A bit shocked, I walk back to my counter, where one of my coworkers stands staring towards the entrance.)

Coworker: “Was that guy for real?”

Me: “Yep. It’s going to be one of those days, I guess.”

Depressing Dressing

| TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(A lady comes into the store.)

Customer: “What’s the dressing that you all put on your salad?”

Me: “Ma’am, we have about ten different salads.”

Customer: “Oh.” *stares at menu for a long time* “The fruity salad!”

Me: “Ma’am, do you mean the Strawberry Poppyseed salad?”

Customer: “I think so.”

Me: “That has poppyseed dressing.”

Customer: *lady stares at me blankly, and then* “Is that the same dressing that you all put on the other salad?”

Me: “…”

Will Not Accept This Locker-Room Behavior

| Germany | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I work in a gym, and we got a new system to lock our lockers two months ago.)

Customer: “What is this s***?” *holding up the card she needs to open the locker*

Me: “Oh, it’s our new locker-system. You don’t have to get one key for each locker now, you can just go to any locker you want and unlock it.”

Customer: “But why didn’t you tell me before!? I was just trying to open these d*** lockers for a half hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we already changed it two months ago. I can’t keep asking everyone if they know how to open it, but I will come with you and show it to you.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have time anymore! Just give me my money back for this visit and let me leave!”

Me: “You are paying monthly like everyone else, so I can’t give you anything back.”

Customer: “I WANT 1/30TH OF MY MONTHLY PAYMENT BECAUSE I JUST LOST THIS DAY BECAUSE OF YOU!”

(At this point I call my manager, and he explains him why he can’t get his money back. The customer breaks his card and just walks away.)

Manager: “Do you know his name?”

Me: “Yes, why?”

Manager: “These cards cost €30 each; just put it on his next monthly payment and call me if he calls and complains…”

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