Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Monitoring (Lack Of) Progress, Part 2

| TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I am one of the customers in this story. I’m waiting behind an elderly gentleman at the customer service counter, to pick up something I ordered online. As I’m watching him, he has a monitor but nothing else on the counter, and I’m bracing for a long wait as I fear he’s about to complain about the ‘computer.’ Sure enough…)

Elderly Gentleman: “This piece of trash isn’t working! It has too many cords and when I plug it into the wall it just says something some stupid signal cable.”

Cashier: “Did you plug it up to the computer tower?”

Elderly Gentleman: “What the f*** do you mean ‘computer tower.’ This is the computer!”

Cashier: “No, sir, this is just a monitor.”

Elderly Gentleman: *suddenly yelling* “NO, THAT’S THE COMPUTER! YOU A**HOLES ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO SELLING ME S*** I DON’T NEED LIKE THE BIG BOX.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but this just allows you to be able to see what you are telling the comp—”

Elderly Gentleman: “JUST GET ME THE F****** REFUND ALREADY!”

Cashier: Do you have the box it came in?”

Elderly Gentleman: “NO!”

Cashier: “Then, I cannot do that. I’m s—”

Elderly Gentleman: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

Cashier: *on the overhead* “[Manager] to Customer Service. [Manager] to Customer Service.”

(Seeing no way around this, I decide to try something that helped my granny understand the basics of the computer.)

Me: “Um… excuse me.”

Elderly Gentleman: “WAIT YOUR TURN!”

Me: “I’m actually wanting to help with you something.”

Elderly Gentleman: *scoffing* “Oh, really, like you could.”

Me: “Listen, I know your problem. My grandmother had the same thing.”

Elderly Gentleman: “Oh, did she now. These a**holes trying get her to buy more than she needed and selling junk?”

Me: “No, sir, she didn’t understand how it worked. You see a computer is a little like a TV: If you get a TV by itself, no converter box, no cable, no nothing, what do you usually get?”

Elderly Gentleman: “Snow.”

(At this point another employee arrives.)

Me: “Right, now when you add a cable box to it what do you get?”

(At this point, I can see the gears turning in his mind.)

Elderly Gentleman: “You get the channels and shows?”

Me: “Yes. Now replace the TV with this—” *I point to the monitor* “—and the cable box with the ‘big box’ and you have the similar thing.”

Elderly Gentleman: “But why the h*** are the big boxes so d*** much?”

Me: “Because they are more than just a receiver. They can also connect to other big boxes, they can play CDs, and do other things. Plus the big boxes are able to be used to do more than up, down, left, and right.”

Elderly Gentleman: “Oh! Hang on? The black boxes connecting to others, is that what that blue ‘E’ is for?”

(I nod as I realize a third employee join the group along with others, making me a little nervous. Thankfully the third employee starts to take over, keeping up with my comparisons. When I start to turn to the cashier and the second employee…)

Me: “Ummm… sorry… about that. Though, I’m here to pick up an order.”

(I show them my ID and order # but find that I’ve been handed a gift card, too.)

Me: “I didn’t ask for a card.”

Employee #2: “No, take it, and please fill out an application online. Include [Manager] in the notes. We’ve been needing help with exactly what you did.”

Me: “Thanks, but no thanks on the gift card. I will, however, do the application.”

(I did get hired on a few weeks later and have been commended on my ways to help customers understand computers. Though, that elderly gentleman is still my top customer.)

Related:
Monitoring (Lack Of) Progress

Giving Them The 101 On The 202

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(At my work, when we give the customer the receipt, there is a number on the top. We can either call out the food items or the number. I have an order ready on a tray and am going to call it out.)

Me: “Two egg muffins and a hash brown!”

Customer #1: “Is this number 202?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Is this what you ordered?”

Customer #1: “But is it number 202?”

(Sometimes if it’s a small order, I will just call out the food item(s). I walk back to the monitor and look up this order and it is number 202.)

Me: “Yes, it is 202.”

Customer #1: “That was to go.”

(The customer walks away and I get a bag and place the food into it. I call it out again.)

Me: “Number 202, two egg muffins and a hash brown.”

Customer #2: “Is this number 305? Breakfast platter and four hash browns?”

Me: “No, two egg muffins and one hash brown.”

Customer #1: “Is this 202?”

Me: “Yes, sir, two egg muffins and a hash brown. 202.”

(I had to walk away for a few minutes after that. This happens on a daily basis.)

In One Ear And Drive-Thru The Other

| NV, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work at a busy fast food restaurant with a double drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just got here! Will you give a minute?!”

Me: “Sure, just let me know when you’re ready.”

(A few minutes pass without another word, and the drive-thru line is getting quite backed up and the other lane hasn’t been answered either.)

Me: “Are you ready to order yet? If not would you mind if I take the other car’s order?”

Customer: “No, fine, I’m ready. I want a [Sandwich].”

Me: “Okay, just the burger, then?”

Customer: “OH, MY GOD, I’m not done yet! You’re asking me too many questions!”

Me: Okay, go ahead…”

(A minute of silence passes.)

Me: “Was there anything else?”

Customer: “I told you, I want a [Sandwich].”

Me: “Yes, I got that.”

Customer: “But that’s not all I wanted!!!”

Me: “What else did you want?”

Customer: “I just told you. I want the [Sandwich].”

(At this point all of my coworkers possessing a headset as well are laughing as they go about their business and my manager is face-palming.)

Me: “Did you want the combo meal?”

Customer: “What don’t you understand about I want a [Sandwich]?”

Me: “The sandwich is just the sandwich. The [combo number] includes fries and a drink.”

Customer: “Oh… well, I want that, then!”

Me: “Ok, what size would you like that?”

Customer: “For the burger? How do you have different sizes of burgers…?”

Me: “It’s for the fries and the drink… small, medium, or large?”

(Another long pause.)

Customer: “Uh…”

(This “uh” seriously trailed out for a good 20 seconds.)

Customer: “Medium….”

Me: “Okay, what to drink?”

Customer: “Tea.”

Me: “Sweet tea, or unsweet?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I hear at least three coworkers audibly cackle throughout the store.)

Me: “Okay, it will be [total] at the window.”

(After about seven minutes total of waiting for this customer to order one meal I finally get to answer the other lane.)

Me: “Sorry about that wait. What can I get for you?”

Customer #3: *laughing wildly* “People that stupid shouldn’t be allowed to use a drive-thru.”

Poo Poo Pourri

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(My mom and I are shopping one of our favorite boutique furniture stores. We are looking at a table that has been decorated with a large wooden bowl filled with strongly smelling potpourri rose hips when a man rushes up to the bowl.)

Customer: “Are these for eating?” *scoops up a large handful of rose hips*

Me: “What? No. That’s just decoration. It smells like potpourri!”

Customer: “These are for eating.” *turns to nearby salesgirl* “Are these for eating?”

Salesgirl: “No sir, those are just decoration. Please…”

Customer: *interrupts her and scoops a larger handful of potpourri* “No. You’re wrong. These are to be eaten.”

Salesgirl: “No, sir! Please put those down. Do not eat them!”

Customer: “You’re saying this is not free food?”

Salesgirl: “Sir, that is not food! You could get sick! There is a restaurant across the street. Go eat there.”

Customer: “I’m pretty sure this is for me to eat. You don’t know.”

(They continue to argue until she is called away. I’ve stayed to watch the show.)

Customer: *turns to me and whispers* “I know these aren’t just decoration. How could they be? She doesn’t know.”

(He poured a large handful of potpourri rose hips into his mouth, and his whole face immediately puckered with disgust and disappointment.)

Her Brain Is Not Online

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a small family-operated t-shirt store in a small but busy tourist town. We have only one location, but we also have an online store. During the summer, about 90% of our customers are tourists, so we give everyone who comes in a flyer with a code for free shipping on an online order. This occurs as I’m finishing a transaction.)

Me: “We also have a nice online store, and there’s a free shipping code on this flyer for you to use if you order anything on there.”

(The customer pushes the flyer away.)

Customer: “No, I don’t want one; I’m leaving town today.”

(The customer rushes out the door before I can respond. My manager looks over at me.)

Manager: “Isn’t that the point of being able to shop online?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it is.”

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