Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!


Doesn’t Ad-here To The Ad

| Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I work in a large retail store selling fitness equipment and tools. It is a slow midweek shift when an older gentleman walks in.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [Store]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *has a newspaper ad in hand* “I will take one of these today!” *pointing at a treadmill*

Me: “Okay, sir, that is no problem. Let’s go over to the register and we can finish up.”

(The customer follows me over and I ring the order.)

Me: “Your total today comes to $645.32.”

Customer: “WHAT! The ad clearly lists that as $49.99!”

(The customer shoves the ad in my face.)

Me: “Sir, that price is for the rubber mat that goes beneath the machine.”

Customer: “This is absurd! You punks are scamming me and others! I will never shop here again!”

Me: “Sorry, sir. Learn how to read an ad, and have a great day!”


The Funniest Things Can Just Turnip

| ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am a cashier at a grocery store in the middle of my shift when a lady in line unloads and then…)

Customer: *hands me a turnip* “Is this a cabbage?”

Me: “No, this is a turnip.”

Customer: “Well, this was over there with the cabbages and it was the only one there.”

Me: “A cabbage is green and leafy, like lettuce.”

Customer: “I thought it looked funny.”


Don’t Drink And Drive-Thru

| Cushing, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am manning the drive-thru.)

Customer: “Do you have anything like the [chicken strip-combo] but without the drink?”

Me: “Yes, we do! We have a chicken strip dinner; it comes with the chicken and gravy, fries, roll, and no drink.”

Customer: “Oh, good! I’ll have that.”

Me: “All right, is there anything else I can get for you today?”

Customer: “A large cherry limeade.”

Me: “…”


Has Been PINked

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

(I am ringing up some souvenirs for a visitor.)

Me: “All right, your total is [amount].”

(Customer hands me a card. I swipe it.)

Me: “Is this credit or debit?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Me: “If you could just enter your PIN on the pad here…”

(The customer looks at a tattoo of four numbers on his arm, and then enters his PIN.)

Me: “Umm… excuse me, sir, do you have your PIN tattooed on your arm?”

Customer: “Well, how else am I supposed to remember it?”


This Call Is Not Looking Good

, | Magdeburg, Germany | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m on the phone with a customer whose connection repeatedly syncs off, and basic troubleshooting hasn’t helped.)

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer], since you’re online now, I’d like to log into your router to see what kind of error messages it produces when the sync is off.”

Customer: “What, you can do that? You can read my emails? But isn’t this against the data protection law?”

Me: “You don’t have to worry. I can’t read your email. I can only log into your router’s logbook.”

(I proceed to explain what the logbook is for several minutes, until the customer consents.)

Me: “All right, it would seem that you get random timeouts and this is why it syncs off. I’ll try to fix it by reconfiguring your line. It’ll take several minutes; after that I’ll need you to restart your router for me.”

Customer: “All right, but answer me this question: can you see my apartment?”

Me: “Your apartment?”

Customer: “Well, yes. You can see my connection and log into my router, so I guess you can look at my apartment, right?”

Me: *jokingly* “No, sir, we can’t do that; this is the NSA’s job.”

Customer: *laughing* “Ah, okay, then it’s all right. But if you are looking, don’t worry, today I cleaned everything up.”

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