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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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The Solution Is Not The Solution

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “My phone got some contact solution on it and the touch screen quit working.”

Me: “Oh, no, that’s no good. Does the phone still power on?”

Customer: “Yes, it still turns on and gets calls and texts but I can’t answer them.”

Me: “Okay, well, you can try putting the device in a bag of rice for a day or so and that may pull the moisture out of the phone.”

Customer: “I’ve had it in rice for a couple hours already and seems to have helped already but I was reading online that I can clean the contact solution out with fresh water or by taking the phone apart and trying the parts off.”

Me: ” I wouldn’t advise either of those things.”

Customer: “Oh… I already started pulling the phone apart…”

Me: *face palm*

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No Cure For That Kind Of Stupid

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular

(I’m ducked down in my area, rummaging through my purse. My boss is talking to a customer. I take out my prescription bottle, shake one pill into my palm, and swallow it before standing back up.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you just did that!”

Me: “I’m sorry, did what?”

Customer: “You just took drugs, blatantly! And in front of your boss!” *turns to my boss* “What are you going to do about it?”

Boss: “Why would I do anything?”

Customer: “She took a pill! She took a pill right out of her purse and swallowed it!”

Me: “Yes, I did. It’s prescription, though. It was time for my next dose.”

Customer: “This is outrageous!”

Boss: “Sir, I am failing to see the problem. If you saw her take her medicine, then you would have clearly seen that it was a prescription bottle, and I can confirm that her name is on it. She did nothing illegal and I’m not about to stop her from taking her medication.”

Customer: “She shouldn’t do that in front of people. It’s DISGUSTING!” *storms off*

Me: “I… what? What?!”

Boss: *rubbing his head* “Do you have anything in your bag for stupidity? We could hand out free samples.”

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About To Be Very Cheesed Off

| Amsterdam, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(This happens when the couple I just served are paying.)

Me: “Was everything okay?”

Customer: “Well, almost. I found that the cheese was very dry, tough and flavorless.”

Me: “All right, what did you order?”

Customer: “It was [dish].”

Me: “Hm. That shouldn’t come with cheese.”

Customer: “Well, there still was some. It was under the bread.”

Me: “That… would be a yellow napkin.”

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America’s Debt Crisis Explained, Part 3

| Waleska, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I work in a store that sells some food items and accepts EBT food stamp cards. A woman comes in with a cart load of groceries and I ring up her items, including one box of baking soda. We sell both the kind you cook with, and the kind strictly for deodorizing/cleaning, and it states clearly on the box it isn’t for cooking (and is located in the cleaning section of the store.)

Me: “Your total is [amount].”

Customer: “I’m using EBT.”

(She slides the card and pays for the transaction. The system automatically charges just the food, leaving the small amount for the box of baking soda.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount], please.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “For the baking soda; it’s [amount].”

Customer: “No, it’s food. I want it on my EBT card.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you picked up the kind for cleaning. It’s not meant for cooking with. See—” *I show her the label* “—I’d be glad to go and get you the correct one, but unfortunately once the payment process has begun, the only way to complete it is to pay the remaining balance, or cancel the order.”

Customer: “I don’t want it then. Forget it. I just want to go. I paid for my food.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I either need the [amount] owed, or I need to cancel the order and ring it in again. It won’t take but a minute.”

Customer: “Fine.”

(I proceed to cancel the transaction. In order to put her money back on the EBT card she needs to put in her pin again.)

Me: “Okay, just put in your pin to cancel, please.”

Customer: “Why? I don’t want to be charged again; just cancel it.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but to cancel it the money needs to go back on your EBT card. You need to put in your pin number to authorize that.”

Customer: “I don’t understand! I already put in my pin! I don’t want to be charged twice; just cancel it!”

Me: “I can’t cancel it until you put in your pin. I’m sorry. It won’t charge you twice, but your pin is giving us the authority to put your money back on your card.”

(Finally her daughter, exasperated, puts in the pin for her. I then ring up her items again, this time leaving out the baking soda.)

Me: “Okay, the total is now [amount], please.”

Customer: “What? I already paid. I’m not paying again!”

Me: “Ma’am, you paid once, but then didn’t want the baking soda, so I canceled the transaction and credited the money back into your account for your entire purchase. That’s why I had to ring it all in again.”

Customer: “I already paid! I’m not paying again!”

Me: “Ma’am. I rang up your items, then you slid your card and paid for the food items, but not the baking soda. The only way to fix this was to cancel the entire transaction and credit the money for the entire purchase — all the food — back onto your account. Like doing a refund. You did pay, but I gave the money back, not just for the baking soda, but for the entire thing. So you haven’t yet paid for these groceries.”

(The customer seems to understand and slides her card. When it asks for her pin she flips out again.)

Customer: “I already put my pin in twice! Why do I have to do this again! How many times am I being charged!?”

Me: “The first time you put in your pin was to pay the amount for the groceries. The second time was to authorize us to refund that money back into your account. This third time is to buy the groceries again. You’re only paying once, since we refunded the first purchase.”

(The customer got upset, refusing to “be charged a third time.” Finally her daughter, again frustrated and wanting to leave , put in the pin. The woman continued to question why she had to put her pin in as her daughter tried to shove her out the door. She came back twice to ask again why she had to put her pin in so many times. Finally her daughter succeeded in leading her out, casting me an apologetic look as they left.)

Related:
America’s Debt Crisis, Explained, Part 2
America’s Debt Crisis, Explained

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Flip Flopping On The Price

| Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

(We’ve just opened up the store and I’m ringing up the first customer of the day. At the end of the transaction, I hand the woman her receipt and the customer scans it carefully.)

Customer: “The sign back there said that the flip flops were two for $6. Why was I charged $4.95?”

Me: “Oh! You only bought one, so they’re regular price that way.”

Customer: “But the sign says two for $6, shouldn’t they be $3?”

Me: “If you bought two pairs, yes, they’re $3 each. But… you only bought one pair of flip flops. The sign clearly says ‘Two for $6.’”

Customer: *getting angry* “Yes, but at some stores that doesn’t mean anything! You can buy just one and still get the sale price!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you only get the $3 price if you buy two pairs.”

Customer: *angrily storming away* “You know, you people should really put that on the sign!”

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