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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Refunder Blunder, Part 27

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m a cashier at a department store. It’s after Christmas, so we’re mostly getting returns, if anything. We also do price adjustments on it if a customer bought it before it was marked down.)

Customer: “Hi, I just wanted to do an adjustment for this top I bought.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *scans receipt*

Me: “Oh, looks like it’s too late to do an adjustment on it. You can only change it within 14 days of buying it. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “That’s within 14 days!”

Me: “It says here that it’s from October.”

Customer: “Hmm… okay. How about you return the item, and then I’ll repurchase it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sure that’ll work.”

(She stands, staring at me.)

Customer: “Aren’t you gonna do the return?”

Me: “Uh… well, to process the return, I would need the item you’re returning.”

Customer: “But I’m going to repurchase it.”

Me: “Yes… but I still need to perform the return as I would any other return, regardless of whether you’re buying it again.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I was going to return it and THEN buy it again so I get the new price!”

Me: “I would need the actual item to process both the return and the purchase.”

Customer: “Why do you need it?”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 26
Refunder Blunder, Part 25
Refunder Blunder, Part 24

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Brain Fried

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am bartending and a customer motioned me to come over.)

Me: “Do you have a question about the menu?”

Customer: “Yes, for the fried chicken salad do they fry the salad, too?”

Me: *looking back at her with one eyebrow raised in a puzzled manner* “I… Well… No…?”

Customer: *stares blankly back at me*

Me: “I mean… Did you want it to be?” *I question utterly stumped*

Customer: “Wow… That was just a really stupid question, wasn’t it?”

Me: *jokingly* “For the security of my job I am unable to answer that question truthfully.”

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Trumpanomics

| WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

(I work selling insurance at an inbound call center for a well known company. This is set two or so days after the election and I still can’t believe it.)

Me: “All right, miss, your monthly premium for just yourself with be [some ridiculous number in the $600 range].”

Customer: “What? Even though Trump won?!”

(I sit there for a good 10 seconds with dead air, trying to comprehend that statement.)

Me: “Miss, the presidential election has no effect on the premium prices that were set for next year.”

Customer: “Oh…”

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His Brain Has Run Out Of Gas

| USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(We have a policy where you must present a receipt if you filled up your gas tank before returning your car. Some cars take a while to move off of full.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m returning my rental car! It’s full of gas!”

Me: “Great! Do you have the receipt that shows you bought the gas?”

Customer: “Uh, no. You can see it’s full.”

Me: “Well, you drove 50 miles, so there will be a fee if you don’t have your receipt.”

Customer: “But it shows that it’s full of gas!”

Me: “Driving 50 miles used roughly two gallons of gas that you didn’t replace. I’ll need to charge you if you didn’t refill the tank.”

Customer: “Oh, no. You see, it didn’t USE any gas! It’s still on full!”

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Deserving Of App-lause

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(Our donut and coffee shop offers an app you can load money on and pay with like a gift card. I take an order at the drive-thru and give the customer her total.)

Me: That will be [total].”

(The customer puts her phone up with the app to pay. I scan it and notice she is about 30 cents short. I turn to tell her, reluctantly, since most people start a tirade of “I know I have enough!” as soon as I do, but she is holding exact change out.)

Me: “Oh! Most people don’t realize they are short.”

Customer: *laughing* “They do know the app shows a current balance of their card when they tap to pay, right?”

Me: “No, ma’am. Most don’t read that far.”

Customer: *shaking her head* “I am sorry you have to deal with idiots.”

Me: “Well, they haven’t had their coffee yet.”

Customer: “I’ve worked several retail jobs and in a couple hospitals. Coffee only energizes their stupidity. Have a good one!”

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