Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

They Lost The Game

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Customer comes up to the counter with a Nintendo Amiibo figure of Sonic.)

Customer: “Hi, do you know which games this figure is compatible with?”

Me: *pulls up a list* “It works with Super Smash Bros for Wii U and 3DS, Super Mario Maker, and Mario Kart 8.”

Customer: “What about Sonic Generations?”

Me: “Sorry, that game is on the Xbox 360; Amiibo figures only work on the Nintendo WiiU and New 3DS.”

Customer: “Well, I have a portable NFC reader.”

Me: “Again, that only works on the 3DS or 2DS.”

Customer: “I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t work on my Xbox 360.”

Me: “The Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii U/3DS are made by totally different companies.”

Customer: “But they’re both video game consoles.”

Me: *takes a deep breath* “Sir, the Xbox 360 is made by Microsoft and the Wii U and 3DS are both made by Nintendo. Microsoft and Nintendo don’t work together on game consoles and the two consoles don’t even play the same games.”

Customer: “But I’ve seen Sonic on both consoles.”

Me: “Yes, but Sonic Generations has never been on a Nintendo console, let alone the WiiU or 3DS. Even if it was, there’s no guarantee the Sonic amiibo would work with it.”

(Customer has blank stare.)

Customer: “Wait, what if I put the Sonic Generations disc in a Wii U?”

Me: “Nothing would happen.”

Customer: “Oh.” *walks away*

Me: “Next, please.”

(Another customer comes up to the counter with a copy of ‘Fallout 4’ for the Xbox One.)

Other Customer: “Does this work on mobile?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m going on break…”

Give Them An Inch And They’ll Take A While

| New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

(I am serving a customer with curtain fabric.)

Me: “Do you know how much you need?”

Customer: “Yes, I measured it.” *peers at our set into the counter ruler* “But I didn’t use one like that; mine was different. That’s hard; mine was soft.”

Me: “You would have used a t—”

Customer: *talking over the top of me* “Yes, mine was different. It was longer, too. Will there be a difference because yours is shorter than mine? I’m sure it was longer. I think it was longer. Do you think it will make difference?”

Me: “Did you use a tape measure?”

Customer: “A what? I’m not sure what you mean”

Me: *holding up a tape measure* “Did you use something like this?”

Customer: “Yes, that was it, but mine was longer than this ruler. I’m sure it was longer”

Me: “Tape measures are a metre and a half long. Our ruler is only a metre.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s why. I was worried.”

Me: “So what was the measurement?”

Customer: “It was [measurement].”

Me: “Is that in centimetres or inches?”

Customer: “Is there a difference?”

Me: *mental face palm, holding tape measure* “This side is centimetres and the other is inches. Which side did you use?”

Customer: “Oh, the smaller one. I am sure I used the smaller one…”

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 6

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I worked as an assistant manager at a young adult clothing/skateboard store in the mall. A lady and her daughter came in one day and this lively exchange happened.)

Customer: “I’d like to return these shoes I bought for my daughter. I ordered the wrong size.”

Me: “Okay, no problem!” *I start inspecting the box looking for our SKU to scan, but don’t see it* “So, I don’t see our store sticker. Do you have the receipt?”

Customer: “No, I ordered them online.”

Me: “Do you have the shipping invoice?”

Customer: “No! I just want to exchange for the right size!”

Me: “I’d be happy to but I need proof of purchase or a sticker to scan and these don’t have that. Are you sure you purchased them from us? A lot of stores sell these specific sneakers.”

Customer: “I ordered them from [Shoe Brand]’s website! What’s so hard about just exchanging them for the right size?!”

Me: Oh, I see! Unfortunately I can’t give you credit for something you didn’t purchase through us, but there is a [Shoe Brand] store at [Mall about half an hour away] that would be able to process your exchange.”

Customer: “YOU WANT ME TO DRIVE ALL THE WAY TO [City said mall is in] TO EXCHANGE THESE? I CAN SEE THEM RIGHT THERE! JUST GIVE THEM TO ME!”

Me: “I can sell them to you and you can send the other ones back to the company when it’s convenient to you, but I cannot take something back that wasn’t bought here.”

(This went back and forth for a few minutes while I tried to explain how inventory and bulk purchasing work, but to no avail.)

Customer: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Where else in this mall do they sell these shoes?”

Me: *lists other stores* “But, ma’am, none of these stores will be able to take the return either. You have to bring them back to—”

(The customer interrupts me to turn to her daughter.)

Customer: “Come on, honey, we’ll go to [one of the stores I listed]. They’ll give us the right shoes.”

(With that they turned to leave in a huff.)

Me: “But, ma’am! Oh, screw it.”

(I always say “you can tell the ones who have never worked retail” and truer words had never been spoken about this woman.)

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 3

Time To Call It A Night…

| MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

(We are a 24-hour fast-food place and have a special menu from midnight to four am that is displayed both inside and beside the speaker box outside.)

Customer: “What time does your midnight to four am menu start?”

Me: “It starts at midnight and ends at four am.”

Customer: “Can I get [food item not on menu]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re currently not selling that item. We’re on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “What?! When did that start?!”

Me: “The MIDNIGHT to FOUR AM menu starts at MIDNIGHT and lasts until FOUR AM.”

Customer: “So I can’t get [food item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry, no. We only sell the items on the midnight to four am menu.”

Customer: “When does the midnight menu stop? I want [food item]!”

Me: *bangs head on cash register*

(Unfortunately, I have this conversation at LEAST three times a night.)

Just Copy And Paste Your Answer

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Copy center, thanks for holding!”

Customer: “Is this the copy center?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

Customer: “And you makes copies?!”

Me: “…”