Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Get Your Fax Straight

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a furniture manufacturer. We send assembly guides with every order we ship out, but sometimes the warehouse misses one here and there. There are copies of the instructions for each product on our website, but most customers (no surprise) can’t find the button to bring them up. Because of this, when a customer calls in to say they didn’t get the assembly instructions, I usually don’t even mention that they are available on the website, and just offer to email them a PDF copy instead.)

Customer: “Hi, I ordered a [product] from you guys, but it didn’t come with instructions on how to put it together.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. I can email you over a copy. What is your email address?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay, we also have copies available on our website. I can walk you through how to find them. Are you near a computer?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that either. Can you just fax it to me?”

Me: “I can, sir, but this particular guide is 45 pages. I’m concerned that a fax of that size may not transmit properly and you may end up missing some pages. We really do recommend email for things like this whenever possible.”

Customer: “No, just fax it. If you email it to me, I’m just going to have to print out 45 pages, and I don’t want to do that.”

(Yes, I printed out the 45 page document and faxed it to him from our dinosaur fax machine. I wonder where he thought those 45 pieces of paper were going to come from.)

Should Have Had A Measure Of Common Sense

| Hickory, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I work in a shoe store, where we get some pretty unbelievable customers. My manager has just been approached by an elderly lady.)

Manager: “Welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not happy with these shoes.”

Manager: “I’m sorry to hear that. How can I help?”

Customer: “I bought these at your store in [City an hour away]. The man measured my feet, but when I brought them home they didn’t fit! I need to return them.”

Manager: “Did you try them on when you bought them?”

Customer: “Of course not. He measured my feet.”

Manager: *after a pause* “Okay. So what size would you like instead?”

Customer: *now in a huff* “Well, why don’t you do your job and measure my feet and tell me!”

(My manager finds her some shoes, which she doesn’t try on, and rings her up before turning to me.)

Manager: “Are you f****** kidding me?”

A Faulty Sandwich

, | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “This sandwich is supposed to be no tomatoes and it’s supposed to have cheese on it.”

Me: “Sorry about that. I’ll remake it for you”

(I turn to get a new sandwich. I come back and the customer’s husband is standing next to her.)

Husband: “I asked for no cheese. This has cheese on it. And where’s my tomato?

Me: “Um, it looks like you guys were eating each other’s sandwiches”

Customer: “Well, who’s fault is that?”

Me: *to husband* “I’m not going to answer that one, but I’ll make you a new sandwich since your correct sandwich has already been thrown away.”

(Two perfectly good sandwiches in the trash and two replacements later, I wish I could say this was uncommon.)

Keeping The Card Is Not In The Cards

, | UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in the restaurant in a large chain of department stores that have their own store credit card. I am making coffee and my coworker is next to me on the till. Very few of these store credit cards are under the branding of the old store which closed down 10 years ago but is still fondly remembered by the locals. Usually the holders of these cards consider is a sort of status symbol but these old cards have recently been phased out.)

Coworker: “That will be [price], please.”

(The customer hands her an old branded store card.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t accept this card. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “Why can’t you accept it? There’s never been a problem before.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have been given instructions from head office to not accept these cards anymore. I don’t know anymore than that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Why? There’s never been a problem before!”

(I decide to step in as I know a little more information.)

Me: “[Company] has decided to phase out the old cards and replace them with new ones. The old cards have now been deactivated and will no longer work with our tills.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I won’t be able to use my card anymore? What am I supposed to do?”

Me: “You should have been issued with a new card by now. It would have been sent through the post.”

Customer: “I was but I don’t want a new card; I want to use my old one!”

(My coworker and I sigh internally.)

Coworker: “If you like I can get a manger for you but I suggest you take this up with customer services; they will be able to give you better assistance.”

(He insisted on speaking with a manager who told him the same as we did. The manager, however, told him to enjoy his coffee and cakes and return later to pay when he can arrange another form of payment. Of course, he didn’t come back.)

Tales From The Stupid Dimension

| Bullhead City, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(I work in the hardware department of a large home improvement store. One day a customer asks me to cut a piece of plywood for him to the dimensions of 18X24 inches. I proceed to make the cut and hand the plywood to him, but I hand it to him upside down so it looks 24X18.)

Customer: “Wait, this isn’t right. I wanted it 18X24.”

Me: *I stare at the customer a moment, then just smile* “Oh, I am so sorry about that. I can fix it for you, no problem. May I please have the piece of wood back?”

(The customer smiles back and happily gives me the board. I proceed to rotate it ninety degrees and hand it right back to him. He just stands there and stares at me a moment then laughs and shakes his head.)

Customer: “I feel like an idiot.”

Me: “Eh, don’t worry about it; we all have our days.”

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