Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Insecure About Your Security

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I worked at a call center. I am in training but required to take one call whenever we are listening in with an experienced agent.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to know why I am being charged so much! My bill is way higher than I was told!”

Me: “I can certainly look that up for you, sir. I need your phone number to access your account.”

Customer: “Why do I need to tell it to you? You should already have it!”

Me: “Sir, our system is not connected to our phones, so we need to get the information from you.”

Customer: “Fine! It’s [phone number].”

Me: “Thank you, sir. I need to ask you a few questions for security reasons. Can you tell me your name?”

Customer: “[First Name].”

Me: “Sir, can you please tell me your full name?”

Customer: “Why? What are you going to do with it?”

Me: “Sir, for security purposes I need your full name.”

Customer: “Well, don’t you have it?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I do, but I need you to tell me what it is so I can proceed with the security check and get to your issue.”

Customer: “Fine! It’s [Full Name].”

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, can you please give me your address?”

Customer: “Why do you need that?”

Me: “Sir, as a security measure I need to ask for some information, like your name and address. Now, if you can tell me your address we can proceed on to your issue.”

Customer: “You have it right there in front of you! I’m not giving you my address so you can send me junk mail and have people watch me!”

Me: “Sir, I assure you we will not send you any junk mail or send anyone to watch you. I need your address for security measures.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not giving it to you! I already gave you my last name, now you can track me down and have people do something to my house! I won’t let you!” *click*

(I am just sitting there, stunned, looking at my coworker who I was assigned to.)

Coworker: “Sometimes we get people who don’t seem to understand why we need to make sure they are who they say they are…”

The Sun Never Sets On Ignorance

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Several highways intersect at our small town. It is morning. People tend to get turned around easily.)

Customer: “Does the sun always rise in the north here?”

Me: “…”

The Color Of Stupid

| LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid

(I work at a popular shoe store chain. It’s a busy Friday afternoon and I’m in the middle of the floor prepping shoes to go out when a customer and her daughter come in. Both are on the phone. We’re all black.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store].”

(The customers don’t acknowledge me and I don’t think much of it and just continue to greet other people.)

Customer: *walks up to me a few minutes later* “I just want to give you some advice as a young woman.”

Me: “Okay?”

Customer: “I’ve been in this store for five minutes and you haven’t said a word to me but I’ve watched you say hello to all the white customers.”

Me: “Actually, I did greet you when you walked in but I guess you didn’t hear me.”

Customer: “No. No, you didn’t. My daughter was right there and she didn’t hear you say a thing. That’s very sad that young black people feel that the white customers are more important than the black ones. My money is just as green as theirs and it spends the same.”

Customer’s Daughter: “Self hate is what they call it.”

Me: “Again, I did greet you and your daughter when you walked in. However, you were both on the phone, so that’s probably why you missed it. Sorry about that.”

Customer: “Don’t try to lie about it now. We both know the truth. But don’t worry. I’m not offended, but the next person might be. And now that I know how I’ll be treated I won’t be shopping here again.”

(The customer throws the items she had on the floor and storms out.)

Other Customer: “I’m so sorry you have to deal with stupid people, hun.”

Should Have Tried That Second Line First

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m second-line support and for most of the day, I’m calling customers back to deal with things first-line can’t. After 5 pm, if it’s busy we help first-line out and take incoming calls, partly because our calls are often long, partly because most of our customers close at 5 pm and are unlikely to be there. I am taking a troublesome call that goes past 5:30, and my boss is standing behind me, wanting to close up so he can collect his kids.)

Caller: “Look, I know how this works. Nobody on first-line knows anything. Tou’re just trying to get rid of me because it’s past 5:30!”

Me: “Well, the most senior of the 2nd-line technicians are still here. Would you like to talk to them?”

Caller: “Yes! Finally. Put him on.”

Me: “Okay her name’s [My Name]. I’ll just get her.”

(I put him on hold for two seconds, pick up again, repeat what I’d told him to do without even asking about the problem, and he goes away happy.)

Boss: “I wish I could be surprised that worked.”

Fry Your Brains

, | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(It’s a semi-busy night. I and one other manager are up front helping to get orders out when this woman grabs my attention from across the counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you make sure my fries are extra crispy?”

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Thanks. I can’t have all that extra fat in me.”

Me: *stunned speechless for a few seconds* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “I need them extra well done so there isn’t as much fat on my fries.”

(I blink a few more times before smiling, nodding, and turning around to relay this information to the manager.)

Manager: *in response to the customers request* “Wait, what?”

Me: “You heard me.”

Manager: “Did you explain how deep frying works?”

Me: “You know, it wasn’t worth the argument.”