Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!


Microsoft Word To The Wise

| UK | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for an IT company that provides support for a large restaurant chain and their franchises. I receive a call from one franchise that recently had their office PC replaced. These franchises have to provide their own software and licences for installation that we help with as part of the service.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You are speaking to [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “This is [Customer] from [Franchise]. I just went to [Computer Retailer] and bought Microsoft Office but it won’t install.”

Me: “No worries. I will remote in and see what is happening with the install.”

(I remote in and find the software installed fine but the license code will not activate the software.)

Me: “Can you confirm the license key is the same as it is on the software package?”

Customer: “Yes. I bought it from [Computer Retailer] but it’s not working. I tried each of the license codes but it’s still not working.”

Me: “Wait, you said there are several license codes? Can you send me a scanned image of the package so I can find what might be the problem?”

(I provided the user with an e-mail address to send the scanned image to and after half an hour the pictures came in. The customer had bought a CD sleeve with a blank disc with “Office” written on it and a piece of paper showing the front and back cover. The paper showed he bought “Micrasift Oofice 2012 Profecinal eddition”, which included a list of authentic-looking license keys.)


This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 49

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(When a customer orders food, we write the order on a box and fill it up, call out the name of the customer, and make the transaction.)

Me: “[Name]!”

Customer: *sluggishly nods and comes over*

Me: “Hello there. Just 10 shrimp and a PowerAde?”

Customer: *not really paying much attention* “Yeah.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $[total]. Swipe your card when you’re ready.”

Customer: *looks at pin-pad and swipes card*

Me: *bags up food and hands drink* “All right, you have a wonderful day!”

Customer: *looks at PowerAde* “Uh, I ordered a [Soda]?”

(Turned out that this guy wasn’t the name I called out, did not order shrimp whatsoever, and didn’t realize he had picked up the wrong order until the transaction was over, even after I had verbally asked him everything and he had a screen to confirm his order.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 48
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 47
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 46


It’s Too Much Trouble To Troubleshoot

, | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I work in an inbound call center that works as a hardware help desk for veterinary clinics who purchase our products. On a relatively slow day for us, I get the following phone call.)

Me: “Hardware Support. My name is [My Name]. How can I assist you?”

Customer: “Yes, I am having trouble with our label printer.”

Me: “I can help you with that. On which computer are you having problems with this printer?”

Customer: “Several of them.”

Me: “Okay, I can check on the server for you to make sure it is shared correctly, but I also need to be remoted in to check on the ones you are having problems with.”

(At this point I give the customer a session code to put into the server so I can remote in and check settings.)

Customer: “Thanks, I will put that into the computer. Have a great day.” *hangs up*

(I am slightly confused as we need the customer on the line to troubleshoot any printer problems as when we print pages we don’t actually know if it prints. So I call her back.)

Customer: “[Clinic], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, you called in about needing help with your label printer; I need someone on the line to troubleshoot the issues with me.”

Customer: “Well, we are really busy here. Can’t you just do it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I am not sure what the problem is and I can’t just guess. If you are having problems printing I can check the settings on the computers you are having problems with, but if I print anything, I won’t know if it worked.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know what computers are having the problem, so you will just have to figure it out.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have the ability to do that unless I get remoted into the computers with the problem.”

Customer: “I have 30 computers and I just don’t have the time to walk around and find out which ones have the problems and which ones don’t. I have 20+ customers standing in line waiting to be checked in for the weekend. You just need to fix it.”

(Unsure how to proceed, I explain the issue to one of my colleagues. He suggests to explain to the customer exactly what she is asking me to do and what steps would have to be taken for me to complete the troubleshooting.)

Me: “Ma’am, for me to do what you are asking I would have to remote into every computer, kick off the person currently working and check the settings, print a test label, then call you back to see if one printed. I would have to do this 30 times and interrupt your work each time.”

Customer: “There has to be another way. Just fix it.”

Me: “There is another way. If someone could find out for me what computers are not able to print, I would only have to access those computers and speak with that one employee.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to have one of my employees do your job. Forget it. I don’t know why we pay for you to fix things when we are the ones who have to fix them.” *she hangs up*

(I sat for a moment and a colleague walked up to me and explained that every time she called in, if she needed to help or it took longer than five minutes, she hung up on us. We have since stopped supporting her clinic.)


Weather Through The Stupid Questions

| Germany | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(While at the reception desk, on a beautiful sunny day, I see a guest exit the adjacent hotel building, walk down the sidewalk, down the stairs, and across to enter the lobby.)

Guest: “So, what is the weather like today?”

Me: *leans over to look past the guest and out the window at the beautiful sunny day*

Guest: “Don’t do that!”


Actually Looking Forward To Monday

| Idyllwild, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Popular

Caller: “Hello. I’m trying to plan for the upcoming holidays and I don’t have a calendar. I need to know what day of the week Easter Sunday is on this year.”

Me: *thinking she was looking for the date* “It’s on April 8th.”

Caller: “I know the DATE, but what day of the WEEK is it?”

Me: “What day of the week is Easter SUNDAY?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Is that a trick question, ma’am?”

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