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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Got Breast Milk?

| Chesterfield, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work at a daycare, taking care of babies. My one-year-old son is one of the babies in my room. One day, when a parent comes to pick up her own child, she sees me nursing my son.)

Parent: “Oh, do you do that for all the babies?”

(She actually thought I breastfed all of the babies in my room, not just my son.)

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There Is No Plus Side To This

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Popular, Time

Customer: “I want to complain about your meter readers. They didn’t come in the period they were supposed to.”

Me: “Okay, let me check… So, your scheduled read date was March 22, plus or minus two business days. Our records show the readers attended on March 25 but the gate was locked.”

Customer: “Of course it was. That’s outside of the window.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it isn’t; the 25th is two business days after the 23rd.”

Customer: “NO. Where it says plus or minus two business days, that means it’s one day either side, two extra business days, up to three business days total. What are you, stupid?”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not the case. Plus or minus two business days means it can be up to two business days either side, a total of five business days.”

Customer: “NO, IT DOESN’T! IT NEVER MEANS THAT! ARE YOU STUPID?!”

Me: “Ma’am, out of curiosity, what would you assume it meant if we’d written plus or minus one business day?”

(Long silence.)

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *click*”

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Give Him Free P&P For A Brain

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(A couple of customers walk into the store:)

Customer #1: “Hey, they have that Star Wars Expansion you want but is never available on-line!”

Customer #2: “How much is it?”

Customer #1: “Same price.”

(The second looks thoughtful for a moment…)

Customer #2: “Yeah, but it’s free P&P on-line…”

(He didn’t buy it.)

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Brain-Fried

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Potatoes, please.”

Me: “What kind?”

Customer: “I want potatoes.”

Me: “We have French and curly fries, hash browns, and wedges. Which would you like?”

Customer: “Poh-tate-ooohhhs.”

(I scoop up some French fries and show it to the customer.)

Me: “These?”

Customer: “Yes! Potatoes!”

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Coming Down Hard On The Software

VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I have a return.”

Me: “Okay!”

Customer: *slaps down box with “[Tax Software] FOR WINDOWS” on front*

Me: “It’s been opened…”

Customer: “I put it in my computer and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Was there something wrong with the disc?”

Customer: *becoming irate* “No! I can’t use it in my computer!”

Me: “Why can’t—”

Customer: “I have a Mac!”

(When we explain we can’t return open software unless it is defective, he becomes angry, declares we have lost his business, and storms out.)

Me: *to manager* “He says he’s never shopping here again.”

Manager: *in a sad, dead voice* “He’ll be back next tax season. They always come back.”

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