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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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He Shed His Brain A While Ago

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

Customer: “Do you have anything that can prevent a dog from shedding?”

Me: “Yes, we have brushes and combs for—”

Customer: “No, I mean something to stop them from shedding all together?”

Me: *confused* “Uhm. No. We don’t.”

Customer: “So, there’s not, like, a pill or something that could make a dog not shed?”

Me: “No, it’s natural for animals to shed hair. They have to—”

Customer: “So, if I went to the vet, I couldn’t get, like, a shot or something that will make them stop shedding?”

Me: “No, animals have to shed. They lose hair because—”

Customer: “So, if I invented something that would make a dog never shed, I’d be, like, rich.”

Me: “Uhmm… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Customer: “But what if I did? Then I’d be rich!”

Me: *giving up* “Yup, I guess so.”

Customer: *to his girlfriend* “Hey, babe! If I invented a shot that could make it so dogs never shed, I’d be rich!”

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A Fee(ble) Excuse

| Yankton, SD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a bank call center. More often than not, I get calls about people who want to appeal late fees on their credit cards.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I would like to appeal my late fee on my credit statement.”

Me: “Sure thing. What is the reason you are appealing your late fee?”

Customer: “I forgot to pay my bill.”

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Borrowed An Already-Used Idea

| CA, USA | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Popular

(We always have a large art book on display near our information desk for customers to look through, and copies of it are underneath for purchase. A customer wanders in and starts to look through it.)

Me: “How are you doing today? Anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you should really think about renting books.”

Me: *smiles* “I think what you’re looking for is a library.”

Customer: “No, think about it. For example, I love this book…” *points to the art book* “…and I would want to take it home with me for a few months, but I don’t want to own it forever.”

Me: *still smiling* “That still sounds like a library to me.”

Customer: “Well, the library is certainly not going to have this book.”

(I refrain from saying they might be able to get it in from another library knowing this customer probably won’t believe me.)

Customer: “I’m just saying it would be an interesting business model. Maybe it would stop bookstores from dying out.”

Me: *slightly strained but trying not to show it* “Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “Oh, no. I just think you should try looking at new models of business.” *walks out the door*

Me: *sighs* “You’re still thinking of a library.”