Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Makes You Want To ‘Bang’ Your Head Against The Wall

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

Customer: “My computer made a bang noise, stopped working, then there was a weird smell… Is that a bad thing?”

Can’t Lettuce Know What You Mean

| Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Popular

(I am a customer standing in line behind two 16/17-year-old girls.)

Server: “And what salad would you like on that?” *gestures to the huge assortment of vegetables in front of her*

Girl #1: “Salad.”

Server: “Er… yes, but what salad?”

Girl #1: *rolls her eyes* “SAAAALLLLAAAAADDDDD!!!!”

Server: *seemed a bit confused and intimidated by the attitude*

Girl #2 “She just wants f****** salad, you idiot. Just give her her f****** SALAD!”

Girl #1: *points* “SALAD!”

Server: “Oh, you mean lettuce?”

Girl #1: “Yeah, whatever. Just salad, f******* h***!”

Me: “Well to be fair, the entire bar is filled with about 20 different items of salad ingredients. If you don’t know the word for lettuce, that’s your fault, not hers. Just pay for your food, and consider this a learning experience, yeah?”

(Girl #1 & Girl #2 walked out, grumbling and swearing. The server and I shared a “WTF” moment as they left, and I finally got my food!)

Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 4

| CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(We have an open kitchen line where pizza and flatbread is thrown. Therefore, there is flour EVERYWHERE after we open. We do offer gluten free bread, though.)

Customer: “I would like a meatball grinder with gluten-free bread. I’m deathly allergic to gluten.”

Cashier: “Ma’am, we use regular bread crumbs in our meatballs. Would you like a different filling choice?”

Customer: “Oh, no. The meatballs are fine.”

(This during a rush where three of us were tossing dough and watching her inhale the flour.)

Related:
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 4
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3
Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2

Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 3

| Fairbanks, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Popular

(I work as an assistant manager at an ice-cream shop. It is April and sunny out and a customer has come in and bought some of our ice-cream cupcakes about one and a half hours ago. A customer storms into the store and demands to talk to the manager.)

Me: “I’m the assistant manager. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I demand that you replace my cupcakes.”

(She pulls the container with the melted cupcakes out of her bag.)

Me: “After you purchased these, did you store them in a freezer?”

Customer: “No. I left them in my car while I did my other shopping. Why would I store them in a freezer?”

Me: “Because they’re made of ice cream. That’s why they’re in a display freezer.”

(I gesture to the back of the store where our freezer sits, full of ice-cream cakes, cupcakes, and tubs of ice cream.)

Customer: “How was I to know that’s why they were in a freezer? You should tell people that they’re made of ice cream before they buy them.”

(I replace her cupcakes with new ones, making sure to tell her that they are made of ice-cream and should be kept in a freezer.)

Related:
Common Sense Just Melts Away, Part 2
Common Sense Just Melts Away

Only Credited With Confusion

| AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I am called over by an employee handling an order. The customer has already returned two items because the were the wrong color. We only had one item in the correct color in stock, so we are ordering the second item from another store. Apparently, my employee and the customer have been discussing the order for a while and the customer has convinced my employee that the item we are ordering should be free.)

Me: “Ma’am, we’ve already returned this item to your card, and we will only be giving you this new item at the same price. So you aren’t really paying for another one; it’s just an extended exchange.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why I have to pay for it again. I bought these in [Other City] and now I just want to get the other color.”

Me: *thinking she might not have been paying very close attention* “We have to charge you for this new one because you’ve been given a credit on your [Store] card for the one that was the wrong color. When they ship it, they will charge you the same amount and you won’t owe anything.”

Customer: “No, I already paid for it. I paid for it in [Other City].”

Me: “Yes, and you returned it here. See, you have a credit on your account.”

Customer: “Ugh, I just wish I had the others back. I could just drive to [Other Store which is three hours away], and get the right colors there.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Just a moment.”

(I immediately voided the return of her items and the sale of the new one, gave her the old receipt and one that proved her items had not been returned, and sent her on her way. She looked happy, if not a little confused on her way out.)

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