Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

One Adopted Every Minute

| USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I’m a male cashier at a hardware store. A male customer in his 20s approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey! Some lady is messin’ around in the aisle over there!”

(I can see from the counter that the woman he’s talking about is one of my coworkers, a valued employee.)

Me: “Actually, sir, she works here.”

Customer: “The hell she does! Women don’t know shit about this stuff! She’s a useless employee and you wasted your money hiring her. I went up to her and asked if y’all carried square-handled double monkey wrenches, and she told me this store doesn’t carry those!”

Me: “That’s… not a real thing, sir. Those don’t exist.”

Customer: “Yeah, but that dumb b**** didn’t say that when I asked her! Women are f****** useless.”

Me: *getting angry* “A woman gave birth to you. Do you think that’s worthless?”

Customer: “No, actually, she didn’t! I wasn’t born! I’m adopted!”

They’re Winging It

, | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Hey, how are you doing?”

Customer: “I’m not ready yet!”

(We’re trained to greet the customer, ask for his or her name, then proceed through the order, so I wait for twenty seconds or so.)

Me: “Could I have your name, please?”

Customer: “Don’t rush me!”

(A minute later.)

Customer: “I’d like wings.”

Me: “All right, could I have your name for the order, please?”

Customer: “I’m not done yet!”

Me: “We ask for the name at the beginning of the order.”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “All right, [Name], do you want a combo or just the wings?”

Customer: “Just wings.”

Me: “Okay, how many would you like?”

Customer: “Ten.”

Me: “All right, [Name], and will those be boneless or regular wings?”

Customer: “I want the wings.”

Me: “Yes, boneless or regular?”

Customer: “Yeah, hot.”

Me: *louder* “Boneless or regular?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Regular wings are the… regular… wings, like drumsticks and flats. Boneless wings are… without bone.”

Customer: “Yeah, the regular wings. That’s what I said!”

Clucked Out Early

| Omaha, NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Popular

(It’s just before Thanksgiving and I’m walking past the meat department when I overhear this exchange…)

Customer: “So, do these turkeys get any bigger?”

Meat Clerk: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Meat Clerk: “Because they’re dead, ma’am.”

Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 3

| UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

Customer: “I have had this phone for two and a half months and the screen is already broken. Don’t you guys stand next to your products?”

Manager: “Of course we do, if it is defective, but no electronic store can cover hardware physical damage for free. That’s why most places offer insurance on their products. We also sell cases and screen guards to decrease the risk of damage in the instance of dropping or scratches.”

Customer: “I don’t believe in insurance. If the product was built poorly enough to need a case and a screen guard it should have come with one. I mean cars come with bumpers.”

Me: “But if you total your car, a bumper isn’t going to do you any good. Nothing is indestructible. Even cars have insurance and deductibles if you get into a wreck. The only difference in this instance is that you decided to keep it out of its “seatbelt” and have denied any insurance we have tried to offer you for the entire length of time you have been with this carrier.”

(The customer kept grumbling about our incompetence and how he should be given a new phone because we need to stand by our product.)

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 2
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 30

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in tech support for an Internet company, taking calls for installers that are having issues with the install. The following is a call I receive.)

Me: “What kind of issue are you having?”

Caller: “I am not able to get on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.”

(I pause a moment to confirm the modem is provisioning.)

Me: “The modem is provisioned correctly. Have you checked your IP address?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Do you know how to check for the IP?”

Caller: “Negative.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. What operating system are you using?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Vista, 7, XP?”

Caller: *silence*

Me: “Okay, what does your start button look like? Round with the Windows logo in the center?”

Caller: “You mean the circle with the rainbow looking thing in the center?”

Related:

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 29

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 28

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 27

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