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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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The Realization Has Expired

| Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work at a popular beauty supply store. A family had been browsing around for quite a while before coming to the front to pay. We offer a discount card which expires annually. The customer didn’t have her card, but I looked up the number and punched it in manually.)

Me: “I see that your card has expired. I can give you some stickers to take home to put on your card so you know when it expires next.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “You don’t have your physical card with you, correct? So I’m giving you these expiration date stickers to put on your card at home.”

Customer: “But my card is at home.”

Me: “That’s why I’m giving you the stickers. To put on your card. That’s at your home.”

(My coworker, sensing my frustration, stepped in.)

Coworker: “Your card expired, so she’s giving you stickers to put on your card when you go home.”

(This somehow clicked with the customer.)

Customer: “Why didn’t you say that in the first place?!”

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 8

| Lebanon, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Excuse me; can I use this coupon here?”

(The coupon looks like a standard buy-one-get-one coupon, and I see that she has some of the items depicted.)

Me: “Yes, you should be able to!”

(I ring up the items, but end up having trouble with the coupon.)

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry; I didn’t look at the coupon closely. You need to buy two [Brand] items to get these items free.”

Customer: “But I did buy them!”

Me: “Were they on the counter? I don’t think I rang any up…”

Customer: “No, I bought them at [Store next door].”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I have the receipt; I can show you that I’m not lying…”

Me: “No, no, that’s not… To use the coupon, you usually have to buy them in the same purchase… at the same store.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t think the coupon says that.”

Me: “I don’t think they felt it needed to…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 7
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5

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Giving You A Flat(screen) Price

| Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Popular

Me: “Hello, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: “What deals on flat screens larger than 40-inches do have right now?”

Me: “Well, we have this Samsung 40-inch and Sony 52-inch on special right now.”

Customer: “How much for the Sony?”

Me: “Right now it’s $1000.”

Customer: “If I buy three can I get it for $1500?”

Me: “No, sir, I can’t. The prices are fixed.”

Customer: “Why not? I’m giving you a lot of business here.”

Me: “I know, sir, but we’d be losing money if I sold you three flat screens for half the price.”

Customer: “Okay, what type of deal can you give me?”

Me: “I can sell you three flat screens for $3000.”

Customer: “Okay, deal!”

(He shook my hand and I rang him up at the front.)

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Let The Music Move You To The Correct Number

| Centennial, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(I worked in the IT department at a small company as a system administrator. One day the receptionist calls and says a customer is calling in for tech support, which isn’t possible because we are a print and mail shop, and I only support employees. Intrigued, I have her put him through.)

Me: “[Company], this is [My Name].”

Customer: “Hi, I have a G-59x unit that I ordered from you all and I can’t get any music out of it. I connected it to the audio source but it’s not playing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I think you must have a wrong number. This is [Company].”

Customer: “That’s right, [Similarly Named Company]! That’s who I bought it from.”

(I do a quick Google search to find that there’s a company whose name is almost, but not exactly, like ours. They make music systems for restaurants, stores, and on-hold music for phones.)

Me: “I found the company you’re looking for online. I have their number if it’ll help.”

Customer: “So you’re refusing to help me? It’s always the same. You call for support and they pass you around from one person to another, and nobody helps.”

Me: *sighing internally and drawing on my vast IT experience* “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

Customer: “Oh, hey! It’s working now! Thanks!”

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It’s Going To Take A Long Black Time

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’ll have a long black, please.”

Me: “Sure, was that regular or large?”

Customer: “A long black.”

Me: “Yep, and would you like that regular or large?” *shows sizes*

Customer: “Oh, regular, and to eat in.”

Me: “Not a problem. That’s a regular long black. If you’d like to take a seat I’ll bring it out to you.”

(I bring a long black out to the table.)

Customer: “Oh. I wanted a macchiato. Don’t you do those here?”

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