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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Their Brain Was Dead On Arrival

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(Customer reported his car had broken down. The call went pretty smoothly until the end:)

Me: “So if you have no further questions, I’ll arrange the assistance for you now and give you a call back when we’ve got someone on their way, once we have an estimated time of arrival.”

Customer: “I’ve got one question. When will someone be here?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, I can’t be sure until we have made a few calls and gotten the technician on their way. If you could give us a little bit of time to arrange things, expect a call back in about ten minutes.”

Customer: “But when will he be arriving? Will I get a call?”

(By this point I knew the customer wasn’t listening at all and what should have been a quick easy call was going to take an extra five-plus minutes.)

Me: “Yes, sir, as soon as we know we will give you a call straight back.”

Customer: *long pause* “So you don’t know how long it’ll be?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

Customer: “But I’ve got to go out later. What if he comes when I’m out?”

Me: “Well, we’ll be letting you know in advance. I’m sorry, but I don’t have an idea how long it will be until I call the technician, you see.”

Customer: *another long pause*

Me: “…Sooo, if that’s all for now, we’ll let you know the estimated time of arrival in ten minutes.”

Customer: “Okay, great, he’ll be here in ten minutes? How did you know without calling him?”

Me: *face-palm*

(I then had to spend the next few minutes explaining that the tech won’t be there in ten minutes, but we will let him know ASAP. In the time it took me, I could have dispatched it, called the technician, had a long chat about the weather, gotten the ETA, and called the customer back.)

Had A Sub-Standard Education

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Popular

Teenage Customer: “Can I get a ham on wheat?”

Me: “Absolutely. Is that a six-inch or twelve-inch?”

Teenage Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: *speechless*

(The customer’s dad turns to his son and gives him a disgusted look.)

Customer’s Dad: “One’s bigger, a**-hole.”

Taxing Faxing, Part 17

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(After finishing up a call with a customer…)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “You know, you don’t have to send out things via the post. It’s such a waste of paper and trees.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Customer: “So, I was thinking you could fax them. Is that okay?”

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 16
Taxing Faxing, Part 15
Taxing Faxing, Part 14