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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 7

| Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work at a video game store who allows customers to trade in games. I answer the phone.)

Me: “This is [Store]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto V and it’s all scratched up and won’t work. Can I trade it in for a new one?”

Me: “Did you get the warranty? If not you can trade it in for something but we will mark it as defective.”

Customer: “No. I bought it at [Different Store]. I just wanted to trade it for another one.”

Me: “So you want a straight trade for another copy? Even though you bought it at [Different Store]?”

Customer: “Yeah. I need a new one since mine doesn’t work.”

Me: “Yeah… that’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “Really? Why not?”

Me: “Have a good night.” *hangs up and turns to my manager* “I think I have had my daily dose of stupid for the day…”

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 6
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 5
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4

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Too Taxing For Them To Understand

| ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

(About once a month, the grocery store I work at holds a sale event called “No Tax Day” where the store pays the taxes for the day. There’s no real way for our system to do this automatically. I work the U-Scan machines. At every machine, we have a large, bold sign telling customers to hit the help button when they’re finished scanning so the attendant can remove their taxes for them. Despite this, most customers do not. I try to catch as many as I can before the customer gets a chance to hit the payment button, and some sorts of payment I can cancel from my station to take off the taxes. The debit/credit machines, however, have to be cancelled from their pinpads.)

Customer: *hits the debit button and begins debit payment*

Me: *notices, rushes over, pulls out her card and puts it down, and hits the cancel button on the pinpad* “Ma’am, if you’ll give me just a moment, I can take off your taxes for you before you pay.” *taps the sign*

(I rushed back to my station, which only took a moment. By the time I got there, she’d already begun her debit transaction again.)

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Lumbering Around And Around

| Vidalia, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Popular

(While working in the building materials end of a home improvement store, I have two customers back to back ask me probably the stupidest question I’ve ever been asked.)

Customer #1: “Excuse me, do you sell lumber?”

(I look around at all the plywood, two by fours, and trusses before looking back to him with a deadpan look.)

Me: “Nope.”

Customer #1: *nods* “Thanks, I wasn’t sure. Thanks for your help.”

(Not twenty minutes later, another customer comes in and looks me dead in the eye and says:)

Customer #2: “Where would your lumber be?”

(I point silently up at the sign above us that reads “Lumber.” The customer looks up, then back down at me, before looking up again. After a moment he starts to laugh.)

Customer #2: “My mistake.”

(Later when I’m checking him out, he adds:)

Customer #2: “You know… if it had been me, and someone asked me a dumb question like that, I’d have been sorely tempted to send them on a wild goose chase around the store before bringing them back here.”

Me: “I’ve tried that. It gets old after the fourth or fifth time.”