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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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The Lights Are On But No One Is Home

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular

(We have moved to a much smaller place in another town, and have been selling off or giving away the furnishings and decorations that didn’t fit in the new place. Since it’s a bit of a drive I have been explaining the situation to potential buyers and arranging for them to meet me on weekends when I can be at the old house all day. If the following had only occurred once, I would have just brushed it off, but it happened THREE times with different people:)

Buyer: *calling/texting* “Where are you? I went by the house and no one was there.”

Me: “Well, I’ve been here all day. Did you ring the bell or knock? I didn’t hear it.”

Buyer: “No, I didn’t get out. I didn’t see a car in the driveway. Why weren’t you there?”

Me: “We have an empty three car garage. I parked in there to give people plenty of room to park and load their vehicles. Are you here now? Come on up to the front door.”

Buyer: “No, we left. We didn’t think anyone was home.”

Me: “Well, I’ll be here the rest of the day if you still want [item]. If you don’t believe I’m here, text me or try knocking BEFORE you leave again. We even have a doorbell you can use!”

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Number Blunder

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(My coworker is on the phone with a customer:)

Coworker: “All right, the phone number you need is xxx-xxx… Ma’am? … MA’AM! Please do not dial the number into your phone while I’m giving it to you.”

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A Weighty Issue

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I work in a call centre that offers customer support for an outdoors-activity company.)

Me: “Hi, you’ve reached [Company]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, I wish to book some tickets for the wild-water rafting”

Me: “With pleasure, how many people will be attending?”

Customer: “Five adults and my son.”

Me: “Great! Could I please verify the weight of your son?”

Customer: “He is about 80 pounds.”

Me: “I am sorry, we have a weight-minimum of 90 pounds for the wild-water rafting. But can I interest you in the lazy-river tour? This is a more family-friendly activity and many people like it a lot.”

Customer: “No, we really want to do the rafting. Why does he need to weigh so much?”

Me: “Children need to weigh at least 90 pounds so they are not thrown too easily out of the boat. We do offer life-jackets, but wish to prevent an incident.”

Customer: “That’s ok. You know what? I will put some rocks in his pockets until he weighs 90 pounds. Can I buy the tickets now?”

(I am stunned and hope silently the lady will realize by herself how crazy the idea is of putting stones in the pockets of your kid and then putting him on a rubber boat in the middle of a very wild river with rapids of class R-III to R-IV +. After a couple of seconds of silence I realize she does not see the issue.)

Me: “I am sorry, but we do not allow stones to weigh down the children.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why not. Can I please talk to your supervisor?”

(I put her through, turned around to my supervisor, and explained the situation. She turned a bit white and then burst out laughing.

During the next 10 minutes she tried explaining to the lady why it was a bad idea, but the customer wouldn’t have it. The call was closed with the customer stating she would buy tickets at our competitors.)