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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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In Bad Company

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(A lady comes into my booth at a craft show and is very interested in my products. She asks me for a particular scent and I point out to her where it is on the table.)

Customer: “No, this isn’t it. This is [scent].”

Me: “That’s part of my company name. The actual scent is [scent].”

Customer: “Wait, I thought you said you made all this. Why is there a company name?”

Me: “It’s my company, so the name belongs there…”

Customer: “No! Everyone knows you don’t have your own company. Only big corporations have companies! I don’t want to support that, so I won’t buy from you!”

(She walked out and I was left to ponder how it was that I was not allowed to own a company because I’m only one person.)

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Needs To Get Some Private Understanding

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “I see that [Specific Time] on [Specific Day] is reserved for a private party. How can I buy tickets for that time?”

Employee: “That time is reserved for a private party and tickets are not available to the public.”

Customer: “So how do I buy tickets to the private party?”

Employee: “Unfortunately, you have to be on the host’s guest list to have access to the event.”

Customer: “Okay, I would like to add my name to the list.”

Employee: “It is a private event, so we cannot add your name to the list.”

Customer: “Okay, so I can just show up, then?”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 62

| UK | Extra Stupid, Money

(My company provides all sorts of home help, ranging from nurses to home aides to babysitters for sick children.)

Me: “Good morning, [Company]; this is [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hi, I wanted to talk to someone about this letter I received.”

Me: “Sure, what is your question?”

Caller: “Well, I received a notice about a payment I made three months ago. I don’t understand because I did pay the bill. Can you transfer me to the babysitting service?”

(I try to connect her but get no answer, so I ask her if I can take a message.)

Caller: “Well, yes. You see, I lost the original bill so I just paid 200€ to your company account and I figured that would be the end of it.”

Me: *dumbfounded* “You did what?”

Caller: “I mean, why are you sending me an invoice if it’s been paid?”

Me: “Ma’am, I doubt your bill was paid as it was likely not the correct amount and did not have a correct reference number.”

Caller: “But you still sent me a notice.”

(At this point, and before my eyes roll out of my head I try the service again. This time I do get someone answering.)

Me: *to coworker* “You’re never going to believe this one…”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 61
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 60
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 59

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About To Be Charged For (Theft) Of Battery

, | San Francisco, CA, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid

(A male customer comes in, walks up to the counter, and puts a package of batteries on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to return these.”

Me: “May I have your receipt, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have a receipt.”

Me: “Then I will need a government issued ID.”

Customer: “I have a college ID.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. It must be a valid government issued ID.”

(He hands me the college ID.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir. This ID isn’t government issued.”

Customer: “Fine, then I won’t return ’em. Stupidest f****** rule ever.”

(The customer proceeds to wander around the store looking around, and then returns to the front counter with his hands empty.)

Customer: “I lost my batteries.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I can have an employee help you look for them.”

(I wave an employee over and assign him to help the customer look for the batteries. They head out to the floor to look. The customer selects a few items as he is looking around. Then all of a sudden, with his hands full, he casually walks right past the cashier and out the front door. I walk up to the doorway and yell.)

Me: “Sir, you need to come back in and pay for those items.”

Customer: “Why? You stole my d*** batteries!”

(I watch him get in his car. I get the license plate number and call the police and give them a general direction the customer headed. The police call me back fifteen minutes later.)

Officer: “We caught the suspect. He was trying to return the items you described as stolen to the [Drugstore] across the street from you.”

Me: “What?! Wow! Okay … uh… hmm.”

Officer: “Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can’t wrap my mind around how some people can be so stupid either.”

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Returner Burner, Part 5

| Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in a busy baby store where people always return nearly their entire purchases two weeks later.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I want to return these items.”

Me: “No problem. Do you have your receipt with you?”

Customer: “Yeah, here.”

(The customer hands me the receipt. I notice she is returning everything she purchased, at least 10 items, except a $5 t-shirt.)

Me: “Okay, so it will be [total] going back onto your card today?”

(The total was $5 less than the total she paid as she wasn’t returning the t-shirt.)

Customer: “What!? That isn’t right. I paid [total stated on receipt]. Why aren’t I getting all of it back. I should get all of it back!”

Me: “Um, madam—”

Customer: “See I will show you my bank statement”

Me: “Madam, the reason why you—”

(Before I can finish my sentence she starts shoving her phone in my face with her bank history on it.)

Customer: “See?! [Store] on the first of September, [total] was taken out of my account! Now give me that total back!”

(I begin to get annoyed so I raise my voice.)

Me: “I cannot return that total amount to you as you are not returning everything you purchased. You are not returning the t-shirt, is that correct?”

Customer: “Obviously.”

Me: “Therefore you will be getting the total amount back minus the cost of the t-shirt.”

Customer: “Well, you didn’t tell me that I wasn’t returning everything!”

(I completed the return just shaking my head. So did the customer waiting behind her.)

Related:
Returner Burner, Part 4
Returner Burner, Part 3
Returner Burner, Part 2

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