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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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Ireland Is A Cottage Industry

| USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Popular

(I’m working as a hostess in a busy city restaurant that deals with large volumes of tourists. One afternoon a middle-aged couple comes in for lunch. It’s also important to note that I am Irish.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]! How are you today?”

Woman: *turning to husband* “Honey! Wow, don’t you just love her accent?”

Man: “Yeah!” *to me* “You’ve got a nice accent there. Where’s it from?”

Me: “Thank you! I’m from Dublin, Ireland. I’m just over here for the summer.”

Woman: *in a strong southern accent* “Ireland? How lovely! You know, I’m Irish, too!”

Me: “Oh, really? That’s great. What part are you from?”

Woman: “Well, my great-great-grandmother originally came from Cork!”

(I hear this a lot – how Irish-American descendants consider themselves 100% Irish.)

Me: “Oh, wow! So have you ever been to Ireland yourselves?”

Man: “Nah, but we would like to go sometime!”

Woman: “Yeah, we would go if only you guys had electricity there!”

Me: “…?”

Man: *laughing* “Yeah, we couldn’t manage without bathrooms and TVs and stuff!”

Me: *unsure if they are joking* “Haha, actually we do have running water and electricity now… We’ve had it for a number of years, in fact…”

Woman: “Oh, honey, there’s no need to be embarrassed! We think it’s cute how you live in cottages. We’ve seen the pictures of those cute straw roofs you guys have.”

Me: *stunned silence*

Man: “So, tell me… how are you adjusting to city life?”

(It only went downhill from there! I don’t know where they got their ideas about Ireland, but I ushered them into their seats as quickly as possible so that I couldn’t hear more!)

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Not The Most Gifted, Part 2

| Norway | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Popular

(I work at a café at a mall that sells gift cards you can use at every store within the mall, but it is also clearly stated that you cannot use these gift cards at any of the stores where food is sold (cafés, bakeries, supermarkets, etc.). It’s a very busy day right before Christmas, and a customer is ordering some food.)

Customer: “That’ll be it!” *takes out the mall’s gift card* “So, how do I do this? Do I just swipe?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, we do not accept the mall’s gift cards.”

Customer: “But that’s ridiculous! It says on the back of it that it can be used everywhere at this mall!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you can’t use it here or at any of the other cafés in the building. It’s written on the back of the gift card as well as on the webpage where it’s bought.”

Customer: *raising his voice and leans over the counter* “BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR MY FOOD?”

Me: “You’ll have to pay with something besides the gift card, and if you don’t have any money, I’ll have to ask you to step aside so I can take someone else’s order.”

Customer: *swears under his breath and walks away*

(About 10 minutes later, the customer arrives with one of the mall’s security guards. The guard walks up to me.)

Guard: *whispering* “I really don’t know what to do with this guy. We’ve all tried to explain to him that he can’t use the card here, but he won’t give up! Is there something you can do?”

(Meanwhile the customer had been standing next to the people waiting in line swearing and talking loudly to the customers about the terrible service and incompetent employees. We ended up giving him his meal for free, and less than a week later he tried the same thing at one of the other cafés. The management at the mall then took away his gift card (worth $80) for the two meals (worth $50). The man was very satisfied with the mall finally taking his gift card as payment.)

Related:
Not The Most Gifted

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Coupon And On And On, Part 3

, | Canada | Extra Stupid, Popular

(An older customer walks up to my cash register and hands me a coupon. I prepare to ring it in when I notice it’s for an item I am unfamiliar with. I am about to ask my coworker next to me about it when I notice another restaurant’s logo on it.)

Me: “Sir, this is an [Other Restaurant] coupon.”

Customer: “Is it expired?”

Me: “No. It’s for a different restaurant.”

Customer: “So, it’s no good?”

Me: “I’m sure it’s good, but at [Other Restaurant].”

(He then took the coupon back, looking very confused, and walked out without saying another word.)

Related:
Coupon And On And On, Part 2
Coupon And On And On