Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Blue Solo Cup…

| USA | Awesome Workers, Extra Stupid

(I see a woman with dozens of cups on the ground around her, taking each one off the shelf, and onto the floor.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I love these cups but i want 12 of them, all the same color. These are all different shades of blue.”

(She picks a cup from the shelf, and holds it up to the light. She then places it on the floor.)

Me: “Well, my manager doesn’t want customers to know this, but we have to sell those first. I’ll get you the special ones in the back.”

(I go to the back room, and grab twelve of the cups that are the exact same brand, style, and color as the ones on the shelves.)

Me: “Here you go. Just don’t tell my manager.”

(She picks each one up and holds them up to the light. Remember that these ones are identical to the ones she insisted were different colors.)

Customer: “They’re perfect. Thanks so much!”

Doesn’t Even Have A Pint Of Common Sense

| Collegetown, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(While working in the dairy department in a grocery store in a town that has two major universities, I have this discussion with a student, after getting out of a class myself in which the professor had just raved for an hour about how our university has some of the best and brightest minds in the country. The student is proudly wearing a sweatshirt displaying the university logo and os absolutely beaming with pride.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today?”

Customer: *looking rather confused while staring at the dairy case* “I need help. I’m trying to find something”

Me: “Okay, what can I help you find?”

Customer: “Well, I don’t think you carry them, but I’m looking for smaller gallons of milk.”

Me: “You’re right. We don’t carry smaller gallons of milk. Anything smaller than a gallon is no longer a gallon.”

Customer: *utterly bewildered and confused at my comment* “What? I don’t get it…”

Me: “A gallon is a unit of measurement. If you don’t have a full gallon it isn’t a gallon. It’s a half gallon, or a quart, or a pint.”

Customer: “Look, do you have smaller gallons of milk or not?”

Me: “No, we definitely don’t sell smaller gallons of milk.”

Customer: *walks away irritated mumbling something under his breath*

(The store did, of course, carry half gallons, quarts, and pints of milk.)

Red Alert!

| Orono, ME, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at a smoke shop, and get a call.)

Me: “Hello? This is [Store]. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Are you [Other Store]?”

Me: “No, sir, we are [Store].”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am sure.”

Customer: “But your logo is red!”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “So you admit you’re [Other Store]!”

Me: “No, sir, both stores have red logos.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I’m coming down right now to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Have a nice day!” *click*

Inside Or Outside The Box: Not Thinking Period

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “Hello, I’m calling to check on the shipment of an order. It was supposed to arrive here yesterday and we’ve been looking for it.”

Me: “No problem; let me check if it is delayed.”

(I check the system and it shows that the package delivered on time.)

Me: “Okay, I’m showing that this package delivered yesterday and was signed for by [Name]. Did you want to check with them?”

Customer: “Wait, that’s my name… Oh! That must be what this box is right here! I was wondering what this is. Thanks for your help!”

Well… Maybe After Brexit…

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(I overhear a conversation between a coworker and a customer at the teller line:)

Customer: “I’m actually moving to a different country soon.”

Coworker: “Oh, what country are you moving to?”

Customer: “London.”

(I really hope she figures out London isn’t a country before she moves there!)

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