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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 56

, | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work at a bank. My caller does not understand why the $2500 cheque she deposited was returned, and now she owes the bank.)

Me: “Well, ma’am, the cheque was fraudulent, and there was nowhere to receive the funds so we had to withdraw the money from your account.”

Customer: “But why do I have to pay back if the cheque was a fake cheque?”

Me: “…because you spent all the money.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I did not know it was a fraudulent cheque.”

(This is BS, because she withdrew $2000 as soon as she deposited and then another $500 the next day.)

Me: “Yes, but you still spent the money, so you should go back to the person that gave you the cheque and ask him to give you a new one. Then you can simply deposit it again and you will be fine.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, I don’t know where to find him since he left the country, but I don’t think I should be paying this money back because it was not my fault.”

Me: “Ma’am… did you spend the money or did someone else?”

Customer: “I spent it.”

Me: “Then you have to pay it back.”

Customer: “F*** you.” *hangs up*

Related:

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 55

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 54

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 53

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One Of Them Is Not Very Personable

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Caller: “Hi, can I get a maxi taxi?”

Me: “Sure. Is that for a wheelchair or group of people?”

Caller: “There are four people travelling. Two adults and three children.”

Me: “…”

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A Customer Over Troubled Water

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(The phone rings.)

Customer: “You f****** idiots broke my truck!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “DIDN’T YOU F****** HEAR ME? YOU. BROKE. MY. BRAND. NEW. TRUCK!”

Me: *remaining calm* “Can you please tell me what happened?”

Customer: “I was in on Saturday and filled with diesel. It started to make an awful noise and isn’t f****** running right. The mechanic said there is water in the diesel and now you have to f*****fix my f****** truck, you d*** c***!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but if we had water in our diesel, we would have had a lot more complaints that just yours. I will transfer you to my manager; please give me one moment.”

(I cut off the customer before he could say anything. My manager got the time he was in a few days before and all of his information. My manager hung up on him after a few death threats and more foul language. When we looked at the camera, the guy had put a whole jug of DEF into his gas tank, which is about 60% water and which YOU DO NOT MIX WITH FUEL. The police got a copy of the video along with his name and license plate. Oddly enough, we never had to deal with him again.)

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Her Brain Is Out Of Batteries

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Popular, Technology

(A woman approaches the jewelry counter with a watch that was a gift from her husband at Christmas.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to return this watch. It never worked and this is supposed to be a reliable brand.”

(Without a word, I remove the little tab of plastic on the watch dial that prevents the battery from running while on display.)

Customer: “Oh, my god… I drove 45 minutes to get here. I’m so stupid. If you ever see me again here with my husband, you are not to say a word.”

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Read Write Error

, | Eindhoven, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in IT in the Netherlands. An end-user files a complaint.)

End-User: “My PC won’t start. Just gives me an error message.”

Me: “Okay, which one of the 100,000 errors do you get?”

End-User: “I don’t know.”

Me: “It isn’t written in Arabic or old-Mesopotamian, so what does the error message say?”

End-User: “It’s a bunch of white characters on a black background.”

Me: “And what does it say?”

End-User: “I don’t know. I don’t know how to read this.”

Me: “So you’re telling me that you don’t know how to read?”

End-User: “YES. Come and fix it.”

(The end-user is a teacher.)

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