Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!


A Pharmalogical Liar

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am checking out a customer. She then hands me a check made out to another pharmacy along with their loyalty card.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Drug Store].”

(Normally, people apologize and laugh and fix their check. This customer is altogether another story.)

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is [Drug Store], not [Pharmacy]. I just need you to change that on your check.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I never shop at [Drug Store]! I hate them! Stop lying!”

Me: “Ma’am, I promise I know where I work.” *I point to my nametag and uniform with the name of my drug store on it*

Customer: “No, I hate [Drug Store]. I never shop there!” *she wags her finger in my face*

Me: “Well, you shopped here tonight!”

(She actually walks outside the door to read the sign outside before she believes me. The customer in line behind her is laughing as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Little did you know the wrong company had been sending you paychecks all along!”


The PIN-nacle Of Annoying Customers

| GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(A little bit of background: I work in a small fuel center attached to a grocery store, the kind that’s open air, with the fuel clerk in a small box, using an intercom speaker. We accept debit and credit cards, but our number pad is timed, for whatever reason, so that a dawdling customer will occasionally have to run their debit card again if they take too long. An elderly woman comes up to the window.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to put $10 on pump eight.”

Me: “All righty.” *opening the drawer and seeing that she’s given me a card* “And will that be credit or debit?”

Customer: “Debit.”

Me: *I nod and run her card, putting it back into the drawer, with the number pad* “Okay, ma’am, if you could just enter your PIN for me please.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Y-your PIN, please?”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “You’re running this as a debit card, right?”

Customer: “Yes, this is a debit card. It says right here.”

Me: “Well, if you’re running debit, I need you to enter your PIN on that little number pad right there.”

Customer: “Oh, okay”

(She starts to enter it and as she does the number pad times out, requiring me to run the debit card again, normally either not a problem or at worst a minor annoyance.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, ma’am. It looks like the number pad timed out. I just need to run your card again, please.”

Customer: “What? I just did it.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I just need to run your card so you can re-enter your PIN.”

Customer: “But I already put it in.”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am, but it didn’t go through correctly. I need to run the card again.”

Customer: *starting to get pissy* “Now, look, I already put my number in. Can I pump my gas yet or not?”

Me: *I’m starting to lose my patience at this point* “Not yet. I need to run your card again, ma’am. Please, I’m trying to help you.”

Customer: “I already put it in.”

Me: *I decide to leave the ‘box’ figuring she must be having trouble hearing me* “Ma’am, this–” *I open the drawer and point the number pad out* “–is set on a timer, if you don’t enter your number it times out.”

Customer: “So I need to put it in again?”

Me: “Yes, once I’ve run the debit card again.”

Customer: “You know, I would have left already if I wasn’t on empty.”

(She then proceeds to put in her PIN, ignoring that I need to scan the card first.)

Me: *sighing* “Ma’am, I need to run your card fir—”

Customer: “Again?” *types in her PIN, which, once again, does nothing*

Me: *giving up, holding out my hand* “Just… Just give me your card.”

Customer: *hands it over and I go run it, instructing her to enter her PIN, which she, of course, complains about* “I won’t be coming back here again.”

Me: *to myself* “Good riddance.”

Customer #2: “Don’t worry, I’m paying with cash.”


In Mint Condition

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(A customer comes up to my counter with a few items. She is on crutches.)

Customer: “Would you be able to get a fabric for me? I can’t carry it.”

Me: “Sure, happy to do it. Which fabric is it?”

Customer: “It’s the turquoise flannelette.”

(I head over to the flannelette stand a few metres away. I hadn’t remembered seeing a turquoise one and held up the closest colour I can find to turquoise, a blue and black checked fabric.)

Me: “Is this it?”

Customer: “No, I wanted a plain one.”

(I stand looking at the fabrics. For the life of me I can not see a turquoise one.)

Me: “Sorry. but I can’t see one of that colour; are you sure it’s turquoise?”

(Customer makes a big issue of having to limp the four or five metres, points to the fabric next to me.)

Customer: *haughtily* “Well what do you call that?” *indicates a fabric*

Me: “That’s mint green.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s the one I want, thanks.”


Take That Complaint Where The Sun Don’t Shine

| Puerto de Alcúdia, Balearic Islands, Spain | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(I am working the night-shift at the reception desk of a hotel. In come a family of four to check-in. Everything goes well, until, 15 minutes later, the father comes back.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, but you have to give us another room. This is not what we’ve booked.”

Me: *after having checked the information on the arrival’s sheet* “Well, you booked sea-view, and that room has full frontal sea-view.”

Customer: “No, we have no view at all. We are looking at a pitch black wall.”

Me: “Maybe that’s because it’s two o’clock in the morning.”

Customer: “Oh! So, tomorrow we are going to have sea-view?”

Me: “Yes, as soon as the sun rises you will have the most beautiful, unobstructed sea-view.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Thanks.”

(The customer retreated a little more hastily than normal.)


Locked On Numbers

| UAE | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in a gaming centre in the Middle East. Each of our customers has a username and a password. One day a customer comes in and sits in front of a computer and, after about five seconds, he calls me in a very urgent tone.)

Customer: “[My Name]!”

Me: “Yes, sir, do you have any problems?”

Customer: “I can’t login. I am not able to type my password. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”

(I type some alphabets in the password field and it seems to work fine.)

Customer: “My password is a number. I am not able to type numbers. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”

(I type the numbers that are above the alphabets in the keyboard and again it works fine.)

Customer: *points to the number pad in the keyboard* “I am not able to type numbers from here. Your keyboard is broken. Change it.”

(I notice the number lock is off. I switch it on and start typing using the number pad.)

Customer: *blank stare*

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