Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

They’re Like A Fish Out Of Water

| NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am in a chain pet store when I overhear a conversation between a middle-aged lady, a young teenage girl and a store employee. The teen is looking at the fish display which is split into warm and cold fish.)

Teen: “Oh, this one is pretty cool!” *points at one of the “cold” fish, before moving over to the warm display* “—and this one, the angel fish!”

Lady: “Um, I think they are a warm and a cold fish… They don’t go well together.”

Teen: “So? I’m sure they will get along.”

Employee: “That’s not the point, ma’am. One lives in warm water and one lives in cold water. They are more likely to get sick and die if they are not correctly taken care of.”

Teen: “So? I’ll just put them together; they will be fine.”

Lady: “This employee just said they will probably die if you put them together. I’m not going to waste money on this.”

Employee: “We do have a 30-day return on fish that die, but I cannot in good conscience sell you these creatures if you aren’t going to take care of them properly.”

Teen: “But you will make money. Why do you care?”

Employee: “Because believe it or not, everyone who works here cares about the animals in our care. Actually, do you have everything set up ready to go or were you just looking today?”

Teen: “Oh, I was just going to put them in a goldfish bowl. They will be fine.”

Employee: *looking strained but trying to keep her cool* “We advise that you have a proper tank set up for a minimum of a month before introducing fish to it. A bowl for a goldfish only works if you clean it daily if it does not have a filter.”

Teen: “You don’t need to clean them! I want fish because you don’t ha—”

Lady: *interrupting her* “I’ve heard enough. You said you had done research on this and that everything was ready. This is why your pets keep dying. I’m going to go buy you a plant instead.” *turns to the employee* “Thank you for your help. Good bye.”

The Poster-Boy For Stupidity

| Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work in a frame store and a customer calls us.)

Customer: “Hi there, I’d like to find a frame for a movie poster I just bought.”

Me: “Sure! What’s the size?”

Customer: “Oh you know… poster-sized.”

Me: “Sir, I need to know the specific dimensions of the poster. Like, some standard poster sizes are 27 by 40, or 24 by 36.”

Customer: “Yea! That’s it! 27 by 36!”

Me: *sighs* “Hold, please…”

Caught In The Techno-babble Web

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Every Wednesday my company hosts a career advancement webinar. I make courtesy calls to remind people that it’s going to start soon and see if they need anything. The invitation they need to access the chat room has already been sent out for this day.)

Me: “Good morning. I’m [My Name] from [Company]. This is a courtesy call to see if you got the invitation to the webinar today and—”

Client: *interrupting* “—a what?! What’s a webinar?”

Me: “It’s the web-based seminar you signed up for.”

Client: “The web? What’s a web?”

Me: “Well, sir, it’s a term for the Internet.”

Client: “Well, you people never sent me the address to the webinar so I’m not going. I know everything there is to know about IT and I don’t need you to teach me anything.”

Me: “Well, sir, if you change your mind, you have my number and we meet almost every Wednesday.”

Client: “I’m not going to because your company is obviously useless. You’re making up stupid words to confuse me into looking into your services. Good day, madam!” *hangs up*

Evolution Takes An Un-Egg-Spected Turn

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(My local pet store features animals from a local rescue that are up for adoption. One day I’m in the store when they have two rabbits in the bin who are available. I overhear an employee talking to a distraught woman.)

Employee: “No, those aren’t ‘bunny eggs;’ rabbit poop is round like that. But if they all hatch I promise we will find homes for all the freshly hatched bunnies.”

Thinks You’re The Big Cheese

| AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(I work inside a store, giving out free samples of specific branded products. I don’t actually work FOR the store, I only work inside it to push the products. My shift is over and I am cleaning and packing up when a lady taps me on the shoulder.)

Lady: “Is the price for this $3?”

(She shows me a meat/cheese tray and points to a price tag that says “cheese dip.”)

Me: “No, this price tag is for this product.”

(I point to the cheese dip, and I notice the price tag for the item in her hand is missing.)

Lady: “But this product was underneath that price tag, which means I can have it for $3.”

Me: “No, because they are two completely different items.”

Lady: “But the price says $3!”

Me: “Yes, $3 for cheese dips, not for meat and cheese trays.”

Lady: “I want to speak to your manager right now!”

Me: “I don’t actually work here, but I can try to find someone who does!”

Lady: “You BETTER find me someone who works here, like YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “I don’t work here!”

(At this point her teenage daughter was in the background saying, “can we just go?” over and over. I waved my arm at a passing employee and quickly gathered my supplies to bolt, but I heard her behind me saying how I refused to help and refused to get my manager!)

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