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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Not The Brightest Question

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

(I’ve been talking to this customer for about five minutes already, answering questions about telescopes that we sell, and some of the questions just end up getting a bit silly…)

Customer: “So, with these telescopes would you be able to see meteors and other stars with them?”

Me: “You would be able to see meteors though they’re going to pass through your field of view so quickly it’d be pointless trying to find them, as you’d need to be aiming at the exact spot they’re going to pass through. As for other stars, they’re so far away that they will still just look like dots of light in the night sky.”

Customer: “What about our sun? Could you look at that?”

Me: “If you wanted to suffer eye damage, you certainly could, though it’s not recommended.”

Customer: “Doctors can fix blindness though, nowadays, can’t they?”

Suffering From A Vowel Movement

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

(The grocery store I work in has a week every summer in which we put Hawaiian-esque foods on sale, such as tuna, pineapples, spam, pork, coconuts, etc. Neighborhood luaus are very popular in our area during the summer. We have signs proclaiming this all over the store.)

Customer: “I need to speak to your manager right away!”

Me: “I’m the manager. What can I help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’m an English teacher, and I’m appalled by your signs!”

Me: “What’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “Whoever made then doesn’t know how to spell! Don’t you people know that you can’t put four consonants in a row?”

Me: “You mean vowels? And that is how you spell ‘Hawaiian,’ ma’am.”

Customer: *exasperated* “God, all of you are such f****** idiots! I’m looking it up on my phone right now!”

(She did just that, and my coworkers and I watched as she suddenly paled, ditched her cart, and left the store. We haven’t seen her back since, even though she was a regular.)

Not Quite Free For The Taking

| SD, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(At the store where I work, you almost always have to buy two of an item to get the sale price. Sometimes we can make an exception if we don’t have two of the sale item in the store, but it’s not very common. A customer comes to my register and sets two things on the counter.)

Customer: “Can I only buy ONE of these to get the sale price? I only need one!”

Me: “Well, you’ll probably have to buy both… What’s the sale on them?”

Customer: “Buy one, get one free.”