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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Making A Mute Point

| IL, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am at visiting a game store that I go to quite often, to the point that most of the employees consider me a “regular”. Due to a throat injury I received when I was younger, I am mute. I’m there to see if they have a copy of a game that had, at the time, just come out. There are only two employees working at the time; both are behind the counter as I walk in. Any ‘dialog’ of mine for this story is actually just me scribbling into a notepad and showing it to whoever I am speaking to, as it’s my main method of communicating.)

Employee #2: “Hey, [My Name], are you looking for something?”

Me: “Yeah. I was hoping you had a copy of [Game], since I wasn’t able to reserve a copy.”

Employee #1: “Yeah, we have a few. I’ll show you where they are.”

(He shows me to where they are, and leaves me to do some extra browsing. He returns to the register, where his coworker is, when another customer approaches them. He appears to be in his late-teens/early 20s.)

Customer: “Hey, you really shouldn’t encourage her like that.”

(The customer gestures to me, and isn’t even being subtle about it.)

Employee #2: “I’m sorry, sir, but I have no clue what you mean.”

Customer: “That girl over there! If you treat her like a normal person, she might get the wrong idea!”

Employee #1: “With all due respect, what are you even talking about?”

Customer: “Don’t play dumb! She’s clearly retarded! Won’t it look bad for business if you let a [slur] wander around? And besides, she’s a girl! She probably doesn’t even play video games!”

(Unfortunately, people assuming I am either deaf or mentally handicapped because of my inability to speak is a common occurrence. I’ve gotten used to it, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. Still, I do my best to ignore it. The assumption that I don’t play video games because I’m a girl isn’t as common, but it does come up once in a while.)

Employee #2: “Please forgive me, sir, but I’m going to have to ask that you not speak about her that way. Not only is she a regular customer, but she’s definitely NOT mentally handicapped. She just can’t speak because of—”

Customer: “Right! Because she’s retarded! I don’t think it’s safe to let her wander around the store. What if she ends up making someone else retarded?!”

(All three of us are completely dumbfounded. As mentioned before, I’m used to these sorts of assumptions, but this was a new one.)

Customer: “So are you going to kick her out or not? People like her don’t deserve to be in here!”

Employee #1: *visibly angry, and doing his best to keep his cool* “No, we’re not. However, if you don’t stop insulting out customers, we are going to have to ask YOU to leave!”

Customer: “What the h***, man?! I’m just looking out for your best interest! If you wanna treat that [slur] like she’s a person, that’s your business, but don’t come running to me if it hurts your business!”

Employee #1: “Okay, that’s it. We tried being civil. Please leave and don’t come back.”

(The customer is clearly pissed off, but before he can say or do anything, I walk over and slip a note into his hands. He instinctively reads the note.)

Me: “By the way, you can call me retarded all you want, but at least I’m not the one with their fly unzipped.”

(He looked down and confirmed that his fly was, indeed, unzipped. His face turned a shade of red, and he then stormed off in what I could only assume was a combination of rage and embarrassment. We still laugh about it to this day!)

They Made An Unsafe Assumption

| Stockholm, Sweden | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

(A guest calls down to the front desk.)

Guest: “Hi. Yeah, umm. How do I get the microwave in the room working?”

Me: “Sorry, Mrs. [Name], but we don’t have any microwaves in the room.”

Guest: “Yes, you do. It’s on the 2nd shelf of the closet, has a digital screen and my frozen pizza in it, but it won’t start.”

Me: “Madam is this microwave black and with a thick steel door?”

Guest: “Yes.”

Me: “That is not a microwave, but the in-room safe, Mrs. [Name].”

Guest: “Oh!” *obviously embarrassed* “That explains why there was a power outlet on the inside…Thank you.” *click*

Half-Brain

| Yosemite National Park, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Tourists/Travel

(A tourist walks up to me at the front desk.)

Tourist: “Is that Half Dome outside?”

Me: “Half Dome is one of the many mountain features outside if you face east.”

Tourist: “Which one is it?”

Me: “It is the one that is exactly half of a granite dome… to the east.”

Tourist: “How much concrete was used to make it?”

Me: “… Seriously?”

Tourist: *stares blankly at me*

Me: “I couldn’t tell you, but they decided to ditch the building project once they ran out of re-bar.”

Error: Tuition Not Found

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I’m in grad school. I work part-time at the university IT desk.)

Me: “This is [University] service desk. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I’m having a problem with my computer. Could I schedule a time to come in?”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s your student ID number?”

Caller: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “You can find it on the back of your student ID.”

Caller: “I don’t have an ID.”

Me: “If you don’t have one of those yet, you can get it from the ID office in [Building]. Do you have any documents from [University]? Almost all documents you’d get from us have your ID at the top.”

Caller: “No. I’m not a student.”

Me: “Are you a faculty member, or an alumnus?”

Caller: “No. I’ve never been to [University]. I just heard you have tech support.”

Me: “Okay… I’m afraid we only offer support to students and faculty. I have the number of a local repair shop if you need it.”

Caller: “Will they charge me money?”

Me: “Probably.”

Caller: “But you offer your services for free.”

Me: “… TO STUDENTS. This is a help desk for students of [University] ONLY. We don’t offer support to the general public.”

Caller: “Why not?”

Me: “Because we’re not a computer repair shop. We’re a part of [University] and we exist solely to offer tech support to students and faculty. I’m afraid we can’t help you if you’re neither. Would you like that phone number now?”

Caller: “I don’t understand why you won’t just let me bring in my computer! It would only take a minute.”

Me: “We can’t service your computer because you’re not a student.”

Caller: “That’s so mean! What’s so special about being a student?”

Me: “Tuition?”

This Friendship Is Fried

| Bowling Green, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I approach a table occupied by a young couple.)

Me: “Hello. I’m [My Name] and I’ll be your waitress. Can I get you something to drink?”

Young Man: “Hello. Um, yes.  I’ll have a [Soda Pop] and we’re ready to order, if that’s okay?”

Me: “Certainly, what can I get for you?”

(The young man, polite and well-spoken, places his order and I turned to the vacant eyed young lady with him. All empty smiles and mindless giggles, she inquires…)

Young Lady: “Hee, hee, hee. What’s a kwee-sa-dil-la?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

(She points to the quesadilla plate and I calmly explain the concept to her.)

Young Lady: “Hee hee! Oh, I don’t think I’d like that? What’s chicken ‘friend’ rice?”

(The young man takes on a look of pained embarrassment and I try to spare him by keeping my expression neutral.)

Me: “Its rice that’s been stir fried and had vegetables, egg, and chicken added to it.”

Young Lady: “Tee hee. Oh, so, it has shrimp in it?”

(Young man face palms.)

Me: “We have a shrimp fried rice plate that has shrimp in it.”

Young Lady: “No, no, no. I want that chicken ‘friend’ rice stuff.”

Me: “All right. So chicken fried rice and—”

Young Lady: “And that’s got shrimp, right?”

(Young man drops head to table and tries to disappear.)

Me: “Um, no, it has chicken but I can have them make shrimp fried rice instead.”

Young Lady: “No, no. I want chicken ‘friend’ rice with shrimp, not chicken.”

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