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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Putting The Terror Into Terabytes

| Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in and grabs a 3 GB USB stick from the rack and brings it to the counter.)

Me: “Afternoon, sir.”

Customer: “Yes, hello. Can you help me? What can I do with this?”

Me: “Umm… you can store files on this device using a computer.”

Customer: “Files?”

Me: “Yeah, pictures, text, movies, music. Anything.”

Customer: “And Google-ing?”

Me: “If you mean the Internet, no. You’ll need a bigger USB stick.”

(The customer grabs a 32 GB stick.)

Me: “Eh. Right, that was sarcastic. You’ll need millions and millions of USB sticks for that.”

Customer: “There are only 20 on the rack.”

Me: “What I’m trying to say is that it is impossible to copy the Internet to a USB stick.”

Customer: “Oh. What about a floppy?”

Me: “Those are outdated and store even less than a USB stick.”

Customer: “But can I store a ‘Internet’ on it?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “I want the manager.”

Me: “I am the manager.”

(The customer stormed off.)

Has Led A Sugar-Coated Existence

| Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(For sanitary reasons, we do not add sugar to our customer’s coffee. There are sugar packets and spoons in front of the register for the customers to use.)

Me: “Here’s your regular latte, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “…are there two sugars in this?”

Me: “No sir, but there are sugar packets just in front for you.”

Customer: *looking very confused* “But how is the sugar going to get in my coffee?”

Me: “You can just put it in…” *customer is still frowning at me like he doesn’t understand*

Me: “Never mind. I’ll help you with that.”

(I take two sugar packets from right in front of this man, tear them open and pour in the sugar. Then I stir it in and slide it back across the counter to him.)

Me: “Just like that, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “Ugh, bye.” *storms off muttering something under his breath*

(Meanwhile, my coworker and I stood there wondering how this man had gotten through 40-something years of his life without stirring in sugar!)

A Giant Wave Of Ignorance

| Seward, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(We do glacier and whale watching cruises. On this day, there has been a tsunami alert, although it later turned out to be a false alarm. The alarm horns are sounding all over the waterfront.)

Me: “This is the tsunami warning system. I need everyone to drop what you’re doing and evacuate uphill to the high school. There are evacuation route signs posted under the street signs.”

Customer: “Can you explain this tour to me?”

Me: “Sir, we are evacuating.”

Customer: “Can I just wait by the docks until you all come back?”

Me: “There is a tsunami alarm sounding. You need to get to high ground.”

Customer: “But, when the tsunami is over, will you be running more tours?”