Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Can’t Put A Dollar Value On Such Stupidity

| Centereach, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a store that only sells items for $1. There are signs that everything is only $1 all around. This customer came up to me and pointed to one of the products.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, you can most certainly help me. I’m looking around and I don’t see any price tags.”

Me: “You do know what store this is right?”

Customer: “Yes, this is [Dollar Store Name] and I’d like to know the name of this product.”

(I sighed and pointed to the sign that said that everything was a dollar.)

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you just say that?”

Giving The Scammers Too Much Credit

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m the assistant of an accountant for a company that takes credit card numbers over the phone and processes them on another day. One customer’s credit card doesn’t go through so I call and leave a message saying I need verification and to call me back at the store’s number.)

Customer: “I’m calling back because of a message that my credit card payment didn’t go through.”

Me: “Yep, it happens. Sometimes we just write the number down incorrectly, Would you be able to verify your card number?”

Customer: “Well, how do I know you’re not a scammer?”

Me: “You called us, plus when I answered I said who we were.”

Customer: “But you could just be faking it to get my information.”

Me: “The invoice said you ordered [Thing] on [the date she got it] and [Coworker] took your order?”

Insufficient Data To Handle Any Alternative

| Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

(I work as tech support over the phone for an Internet company. I cannot get the customer’s modem back online and need to book a technician to get the service up and running. Unfortunately it’s a Friday, and the next available tech isn’t until Monday.)

Customer: “Well, this is just great! Now I’m going to have to use my cell phone to watch movies all weekend, and that’s going to use up all my data! You need to give me a credit to cover my extra data usage!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the ability to give you a credit for your cell phone data plan.”

Customer: “So now I won’t have Internet all weekend, and my data’s all going to get used up to watch movies!”

Me: “I do have you on the priority cancellation list, so they will call you if another appointment does open up before then. If it does, they’ll call you and make sure the time works for you; they won’t just come out without any notice. But of course I can’t guarantee a spot will open up.”

Customer: “That’s great, but what about my data?”

Me: “Well… You don’t have to watch movies on your cell phone.”

Customer: “No, I do! I don’t have any choice! My Internet’s down so the only way I have to watch movies is on my cell!”

Me: “No, I mean you don’t have to watch any movies.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “I mean, I understand your Internet’s not working and if you watch movies on your cell it’ll be a big hit to your data plan. But you don’t have to actually watch movies.”

Customer: “What do you mean? I only have my cell. It’s the only connection that’s working right now.”

Me: “You don’t have to watch movies. You could do something else.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you mean.”

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Not Quite Wedded To The Details

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Funny Names

(I work in a bridal shop where in order to do pretty much anything we need the brides information, and the wedding date. A girl comes in with her dad to be measured for a dress and tells me the bride called our store.)

Me: “Do you happen to know if anyone else ordered the dress yet?”

Dad: “I’m not sure.”

Me: “Okay, when is the wedding? I can look up the paperwork and find out.”

Dad: “…” *blank stare*

Me: “Okay… What’s the bride’s name, then?”

Dad: “I don’t know…”

(I understand the dad not knowing, but the daughter was at least 14. How do you be in a wedding and not know anything about it?)

Should Have Framed It Correctly

| New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(I work in a framing store. I have been at this job only a couple of weeks when this happens – all I knew was basically that we sold frames. I need experience on the phone so I have to start taking calls. A call comes in.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Company]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

Caller: “Oh, hi. I made an Internet order with you and you seem to have sent me the wrong size.”

(We sometimes do Internet orders for pre-made frames. At this point I’m not super familiar with the sizes we can do.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that; if you pass on the details to me I’ll speak to my manager.”

Caller: “That’s great. It was the tiger-lily, and you’ve sent me the size eight when I ordered the size ten.”

Me: “Size eight? Uh… ok, well we may have to look you up in the system to find the details.”

Caller: ‘Do you have a size ten?”

Me: *totally confused but in it too deep now and the woman is getting angry* ‘Uh… I’m sure we can fix the problem for you. I’m just going to get my manager to look for your order and give you a call back.”

(I take her name and details and end the call, thinking my manager can work out what’s happening, because I have no idea. She looks in the system for a customer order with an artwork described as ‘tiger-lily’ but finds nothing. I explain the size issue, but the sizing doesn’t match what we offer. My manager tells me to call the woman back and try to get more information.)

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi there. It’s [My Name] calling back from [Company].”

Caller: “Oh, hi.”

(The caller thinks I’m the manager now, having just spoken to me five minutes ago.)

Caller: “I made an Internet order for the tiger-lily and it’s the wrong size, and I just wanted to return it and get the right one. It’s the tiger-lily.”

Me: *it’s starting to dawn on me what’s going on* “I’m sorry. Is this for clothing?”

Caller: *angry now* ‘No! It’s the tiger-lily!! The bikini—”

Me: “A bikini? We don’t sell those. We sell frames.”

(Silence.)

Caller: “Is this phone number [not our phone number]?”

Me: “No, it’s [our phone number].”

(Silence.)

Caller: “I’m sorry I’ve called the wrong number.” *click*

(Of course, now that I am experienced I would know the error straight away, but I have sadly not received such an entertaining call since that day.)

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