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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Lack Of Touching Sentiment

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am working on the teller line when a customer comes into the lobby. He smells like he hasn’t bathed all week, and his hands are filthy. Also, our bank requires customers who don’t have an account with us to put a thumbprint on the front of any checks they cash. This is a fairly common procedure at many banks.)

Customer: “I’d like to cash this check.”

Me: “Okay, if I could just get your thumbprint on the check…” *holds out ink pad*

Customer: *raising his hands and backing away* “I am NOT touching THAT. I don’t know where it’s been. It could have Ebola. I gotta protect myself.”

Me: “You do realize the cash you are getting has been more places than this ink pad has right?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, but I don’t have any idea who’s been touching that pad. They could’ve picked their nose and then touched it for all I know.”

(I count out his cash, and right before he leaves he grabs a pen off the counter, that EVERY SINGLE other customer has touched, and says:)

Customer: “Is it okay if I take this?”

The Brain Freeze Will Make No Difference

| Calgary, AB, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(So I work at a college as a coffee server. I really wonder how some people made it this far. I am prepping a customers order. She turns to her friend.)

Customer: “Do you want your double-double?”

Friend: “No, thanks, I’m going to get an iced cappuccino.”

Customer: “It’s below 10 out.”

Friend: “Yeah, but I gave up caffeine for Lent, so I’m going to have an iced cap.”

Customer: “You know there caffeine in that, right?”

Friend: “Yes, in a HOT cappuccino. When you freeze it you kill the caffeine, so therefore it’s caffeine free. The sugar will keep me awake.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 17

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m working at one of the places in the park that sells alcohol and it is required that I card every single person no matter how old they are. A customer who is clearly older has come up wishing to purchase a beer but doesn’t have her ID and my supervisor is standing next to me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without your ID I can’t sell to you.”

Supervisor: “Unfortunately, she’s right. It doesn’t matter how old someone is. I saw a guy that had to have been at least seventy trying to purchase beer and I still had to card him.”

Customer: “I guess I’ll just come back with my ID.”

(The customer returns a few minutes later.)

Customer: “Your supervisor’s gone. Can you just pretend like you’re looking at something?”

(The customer then proceeds to hand me a football card.)

Me: “Ma’am, your ID has to be state issued…”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 16
No ID, No Idea, Part 15
No ID, No Idea, Part 14