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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Lacks The Power To Comprehend

| London, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

(One morning there is an electrical fire under the city streets that blows out power to the entire downtown core. Our store is completely closed, dark, and the roads are blocked off by the hydro company and firefighters who are tackling manhole fires. People still managed to get to our doors nonetheless. One tries to come in behind our manager as she is returning and locking the door.)

Customer: “I just need my coffee. Two milk, two sugar, please.”

Manager: “Sorry, sir, we’re closed. We have no power.”

Customer: “That’s fine. Just pour the coffee and give me the rest on the side.”

Manager: “Sorry, but we have no coffee right now and we won’t be open until at least noon.”

Customer: “How do you not have coffee?”

Manager:“Because we’re closed. We haven’t had power for three hours.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you just ask them to turn it on quick?” *points to the city hydro truck and workers on the street*

Manager: “They said it won’t be back until at least noon.”

Customer: “Can I just come in and see what you have?”

Manager: “We have no power, so we can’t use our tills, or sell you anything here.”

Customer: “I’ll just start going to the other store, then!” *the other store is two blocks down, also without power*

Manager: “Sure. Have a good day.”

(The outage lasted about nine hours and knocked out every utility in radius of about 10-15 blocks in the core of downtown, including stores, traffic lights, and even complete road closures due to fires. People still couldn’t comprehend that we couldn’t sell them coffee all day.)

Stupid Out Of The Starting Gate

, | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a kiosk candy shop located in a popular shopping mall. Because of the location in the middle of the floor, some people don’t realise that we’re closed. I am cashing up after a long day. The gates that close off the kiosk have been closed and padlocked. The entire shopping centre has been closed for a good 15 minutes.)

Customer: “Are you still open? I know exactly what I want so I’ll be quick.”

Me: *thinking this guy is messing with me, I play along* “Yeah, sure, but only if you can manage to get over the gate.”

Customer: *to his friend* “Yo, they’re still open! Give me a hand getting over this gate!”

Me: “Ah, sorry, I was just kidding around with you. We actually closed over 20 minutes ago. I’m just running late.”

Customer: “But… I can still get lollies, right?”

(Whenever we have customers that don’t see past their own nose, I always have a bit of a joke with them and they laugh along. This was the first customer that actually thought I was serious.)

Think They Can Call All The Shots

| USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(Our office is closed during lunch so that the nurses and receptionists can eat, and the shot clinic isn’t even open on this day. We have signs up on the windows and doors announcing this, but we still have people that try to get in during lunch, shake the doors, and then complain later that the receptionists wouldn’t let them in. As a result, the front office people tend to stay out of sight of the window when the office is closed. Sometimes, we’ve even hidden under the desks to keep patients from thinking we were open. I walk out of my part of the office and freeze. There’s a woman standing at the front door impatiently. I’m not clocked in, so I call for my coworker, who is technically also off the clock.)

Coworker: “Can I help you? ”

Patient: “Where is everyone? The door was locked!”

Coworker: “The office is closed for lunch right now.”

Patient: “I wasn’t sure. That’s why I went around to the back and knocked.”

Me: *shocked* “You… went to the back?”

(The back of the office is the break room and where we park our cars. The patients are not supposed to go back there, and this is the first one that’s been bold enough to try.)

Patient: “Yeah, but nobody answered. I need to get my shot!”

Coworker: ” Ma’am, the shot room is closed.”

Patient: “What? Why?”

Coworker: ” We don’t give shots today.”

Patient: ” Wait, since when have you started doing that?”

Coworker: “… Ma’am, we’ve NEVER given shots on this day of the week.”

Patient: “WELL, YOU SHOULD!”

You Can’t Even Picture It

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I am helping someone over the phone with a computer issue they are having.)

Me: “Okay, could you take a print screen shot of the issue and email it as an attachment to us?”

Customer: “Sure.”

(A few minutes pass and the email comes through. The customer had taken a picture of the computer screen with their phone, printed it, taken ANOTHER picture of that, and sent it!)

Intelligence Is On Lockdown

| USA | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

Customer: “EXCUSE ME! Are you going to check me out or am I going to have to stand around at the register all night waiting on you to finish whatever you are doing?”

Me: *thinking we had accidentally closed the store on the customer* “Ma’am, we closed 15 minutes ago. My manager has already closed all of the registers. I’m sorry, but I cannot check you out and you will have to come back in the morning.”

Customer: “Is that why the door was locked?”

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