icon_extrastupid

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A couple of weeks ago the bicycle that I had owned since I was eight years old was stolen, right outside my shop. I was at work at the time and the CCTV we have can’t pin the culprit as he was in a blind spot. The police have been as unsuccessful as well. As my only method of transport, I have to go by foot which takes 40 minutes. I’m behind the counter one day, when…)

Customer: “Excuse me, can I park my bicycle in here? Some guy got his stolen the other week so I don’t want to take any chances.”

Me: “Sure, just park it up by the counter and I’ll—”

(Before I can finish, the customer brings the cycle — MY CYCLE — in and rests it against the counter.)

Me: “—k-keep an eye on it for you.”

(The second the customer turns around the corner, I’m on the phone to my manager to ring the police. When he comes out of the office he notices the cycle and is just as baffled as me.)

Manager: “What’s going on here?”

Me: “A gentlemen just came in with this. He’s gone into the produce aisle but I’m certain that he’s the thief.”

Manager: “Right. You stay here. I’ll speak to him.”

(Without another word, my now-furious manager had rounded the corner and gone to have a word with the gentlemen in question. Not a second later I could hear swearing at the top of the gentlemen’s lungs as he came running down the same aisle and reached for my bike. My instinct kicked in and I held on to the back wheel as much as I could as he shouted for me to ‘f*****g let go’. He gave up sooner than anticipated as my manager charged at him, so he sprinted for the door. However, the police were waiting outside for him, and in a flurry of swearwords the crook was brought to the ground and arrested there and then. How did I know it was my bicycle? The dingus had forgotten to remove my water bottle which was attached to the frame and had my name on it! I guess crime doesn’t pay!)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33

| Sydney, NSW Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am finalising a sale with a customer. We have store cards for customers, which give discounts and special offers.)

Me: “Do you have a VIP card?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like one?”

Customer: “No, thanks.” *swipes credit card*

Me: “Sorry, but your card has been declined. Do you have another way of paying?”

Customer: “No. I’ll come back.” *stops for moment* “I think I will sign up for the store card.”

(I pass the form to her, fill in her details on the computer, and hand her the store discount card. She hands it straight back to me.)

Customer: “Use this to pay for my things.”

Me: “What? No, this isn’t a bank card. It’s a discount card.”

Customer: “I do not understand. You give me card. I pay for things with card.”

Me: “This is a store card for customers to get discounts and rewards with.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “No, you can’t make payments with this card. Go to your bank about your credit card.”

Related:

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30

A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller, Part 2

| USA | Extra Stupid, Time

(For the company I work for, the call center is open 24/7.)

Customer: “When do you guys close? I want to make sure I place my order before then.”

Me: “You are in luck. We are open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Which 24 hours?”

Me: “Um, we don’t close. We are open all day and night.”

Customer: “But which hours?”

Me: “Sir, we don’t close.”

(This goes on for several minutes.)

Me: “Mr. [Customer]. We… do… not… close.”

Customer: “Well, [My Name], why didn’t you say so?”

Me: “…”

Related:
A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

You Haven’t Seen Anything Yette

| USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I help a mother find a dress for her daughter for a special occasion. It is really busy since it is prom season but we are able to find a dress. She is a bit demanding, but we try to accommodate as much as we can. Before deciding, we are talking about possibilities for alterations.)

Customer: “So the dress will be finished by then, RIGHT?”

Me: “Yes, I assure that it will all be fixed by then.”

Customer: “It better be since I’m paying all of this money for one dress.”

Me: “Well, if you prefer, there is another place that does alterations right around the corner. If you want, we can leave the dress on hold so you can check to see if their prices are within your price range.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to. It’s such a hassle.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(My coworker turns to me for help.)

Coworker: “How do you spell ‘corset?'”

Me: “C-O-R-S-E-T.”

Customer: “…T-E! It is spelled; C-O-R-S-E-T-T-E.”

Me: *sighs with an awkward smile*

Theme Of The Park Is All Natural

| New River Gorge, WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Customer: “How do you get the boat to spin like we just did? Is it hooked up to wires?”

Me: “Um… ma’am, we are rafting on a river. This is not a ride. There are no wires.”

Customer: “I thought this was a ride, like at a theme park.”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is a real river.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Guess I better not fall out, then.” *continues paddling*

Page 152/365First...150151152153154...Last