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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Time Zoned Way Out

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Time

 

(I am on the phone.)

Me: “I sent the instructions to you in an email about half an hour ago; have you received it?”

Customer: “No, but I am in the next time zone, so I will check in another half an hour, at the time you sent it.”

Me: “If you would please check your junk mail or spam folder, just to be sure?”

Customer: “Oh, hey! Look at that! It’s already here!”

Me: “Computers are amazing, aren’t they?”

Customer: “Wow! They sure are! How did it know?! Oh, well, I have it now. I’m gonna open it before it realizes that it sent it early and deletes it.”

Me: “Sounds great.”

God Help Her If She’s Using A Raspberry Pie

| IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work for a company that deals with online registration for things like marathons, triathlons, little league, etc. Basically any sporting event. A lot of times people have trouble registering because of cookies on their browser.)

Customer: *sounding close to hysterics* “It won’t work! It won’t let me register! I need to get registered for this 5k now!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me just see here. It sounds like the reason it won’t go through is because of cookies on your browser. Now, if you’ll go to the—”

Customer: “I don’t have any cookies. I’m diabetic!”

Needs To See The Doctor For Their Stupidity

, | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work in a call center that mainly serves as an after-hours line for local hospitals and clinics. Routine questions revealed this particular caller to be a pregnant teenager and someone who speaks English as a first language.)

Me: “Good evening. How may I help you?”

Patient: *using the most arrogant and condescending tone imaginable* “I need to speak to a doctor, right now!”

Me: “Miss, are you currently experiencing an emergency? Bleeding, difficulty breathing—”

Patient: “No, no, but this is really important!”

Me: “Would you like me to take a message?”

Patient: “NO! I said I need to talk to a DOCTOR, NOW!”

(The doctor’s line is reserved for emergencies only. Nonetheless, I continue politely.)

Me: “What seems to be the nature of the problem, miss?”

Patient: “The doctor gave me these prenatal vitamins, and I need them to tell me how much I should take!”

Me: “…You mean the dosage instructions printed on the side of the bottle?”