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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

On A Bandwidth RAM-page

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I sell a customer a new connection because they want it ‘to go faster.’)

Customer: “We’ve had this connection for a few weeks and there’s no difference in speed. You promised me it would be faster.”

Me: “That’s strange. It should be much faster. Let me have a look at the graphs.”

(Looking through the graphs I can see they are using way more bandwidth than ever before.)

Me: “So, looking at these graphs it appears you’re using far more bandwidth than your previous connection. It actually looks like you might be maxing out the connection.”

Customer: “No, it’s not that. When I click on [Browser] it still loads up very slowly.”

Me: “Sorry, just to confirm: [Browser] is slow, or do you mean the first webpage you go to?”

Customer: “[Browser] is slow.”

Me:“…Umm, that’s your computer, not us…”

Their Travel Ability Is As Solid As Oak-land

| CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(I am waiting to board my flight when over the intercom come a couple of announcements, calling a passenger who has gotten off their plane at the wrong airport. The last page comes as:)

Page: “[Name], please report back to gate [#]. You have gotten off at Oakland, not Orange County. It doesn’t look anything like Orange County.”

Working With The Yes-Men

| Stockholm, Sweden | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working at a popular café and serving customers as usual when an older man walks in.)

Customer: “I would like a sandwich, please.”

Me: “Of course, sir. What kind of bread would you like?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What kind of bread would you like, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(At this point I assume he is an alcoholic so I just take a chance on which bread he wanted.)

Me: “Okay, what would you like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “What would you like on your sandwich, sir?”

Customer: “White bread.”

(This goes on until I can finally understand what he wants.)

Me: “Goodbye, sir. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “No.”