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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

That’s The Way The Cookie Repeatedly Crumbles

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I’m a cashier at the local grocery store. Today I’m training a new employee on how to use the register. A woman comes up with a box of cookies. I scan it.)

Woman: “No! The price on those is too high. Cancel it.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I cancel it.)

Woman: “Scan it again.”

Me: “Um, okay?”

(I scan it again.)

Woman: “No, the price is still too high. Cancel it.”

Me: “Uh…”

(I cancel it again.)

Woman: “Scan it again.”

Me: “Ma’am, the price isn’t going to change.”

Woman: “You don’t know that!”

(This goes on for several minutes to the point where I have to call a manager over to deal with. Eventually she leaves, without the cookies.)

Trainee: “Did that really just happen?”

Me: “Yup.”

Trainee: “Is customer service always like this?”

Me: “Yup.”

Trainee: “I should get my stupidity vaccine updated, shouldn’t I?”

Me: “Yup.”

Must Be Using 2% Of Their Brain

| USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Company]. My name is [My Name]. May I have your name and account number, please?”

Customer: “God d*** it, not this again. Look, I just need you guys to send me a god d*** technician to fix my Internet! It’s been three days since it was installed and it still doesn’t work!”

(At this point I take a deep breath and grab my stress ball.)

Me: “Oh, well, that’s no good. Newly installed and not even working? I definitely understand the concern, but I’d be more than happy to help figure out what’s going on and see if we can get you online.”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever. Just fix it.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s start off with what exactly isn’t working? Are you not connected to the wifi? Is the—”

Customer: “Look, I’ve already typed the d*** wifi password in 10 times and it doesn’t work. I just need a technician.”

Me: “If we need to set you up with a technician we will, but we could probably fix this over the phone pretty quickly. Now, this might seem like a silly question, but what wifi password are you using? By the way, the password is on the si—”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, it’s on the side of the modem. I already know.”

Me: “Okay, well, read it off to me so I can make sure we’ve got the right one.”

Customer: “TWO-ZERO-SLASH-ZERO-B-F-THREE-….”

Me: “Okay, thank you. Now, I noticed you said you were putting in ’20/0′ for the first four characters, right?”

Customer: “YES, that’s what I just said!”

Me: “All right, the correct password is ‘2%BF3. That’s a percent sign, ma’am.”

(Three minutes later…)

Me: “Did it work?”

Customer: “…Yes.”

Me: “All right, it looks like we didn’t have to send that technician after all!”

Related:
Must Be Using 1% Of Her Brain

The Color Of Stupid, Part 2

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I have some old photos that I want printed, but I want them to be in colour.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we don’t actually Photoshop colour into the photos here. You’ll have to use a different service for that. We only print and copy photos.

Customer: What are you talking about? Just scan the photos and colour copy them.”

Me: “Oh, so the photos are already in colour?”

Customer: “You’re not listening to me. The photos are in black and white so I want you to make a colour copy of them so they come out in colour.”

Me: “Sir, that’s not how photos work. I can’t bring colour out of a photo that has no colour to begin with.”

Customer: *now yelling* “Just listen to me and maybe you’ll get it through your thick head! Just copy… my black… and white photos… in COLOUR.

(I take one final attempt to explain it to him.)

Customer: “FINE. If you won’t do that, I’ll just have to take a photo of the black and white photo with my colour camera, and then you can print that out because it will be in colour! Or are you too dumb to figure that out as well?”

(I hung up after that point. I truly worry about people.)

Related:
The Color Of Stupid