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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

H2-Slow, Part 8

, | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(An ‘Iced Cappuccino’ is a popular beverage at a particular fast food chain all across Canada. It’s made with a very sugary syrup and ice.)

Customer #1: “I’d like an iced cappuccino please.”

Me: “Sure thing. Anything else?”

Customer #1: *turns to friend* “Do you want one?”

Customer #2: *looking horrified* “Oh, my goodness, definitely not. I’ll just have a water, please!”

Customer #1: “Oh, I thought you liked those?”

Customer #2: *dead serious, looking appalled* “I will NEVER drink those again, I JUST found out that they have more fat in them then water! Can you believe that!?”

Customer #1: “…Um.”

Customer #2: “Shocking, right? I just found out!” *turns to me* “Can you believe that!?”

Me: “…Um.”

Customer #2: *to me, scolding voice* “You guys should really be advertising that to your customer… Iced cappuccino’s have more fat than water.”

Related:
H2Slow, Part 7
H2Slow, Part 6
H2Slow, Part 5

His Knowledge Of Science Blows

| WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Due to the weather, I am calling people who had pre-registered to come to watch the Geminid Meteor Shower at the nature center. One of the gentlemen tries to be optimistic about it.)

Gentleman: “What if we got enough people together and had them blow all at once to get rid of the clouds?”

Me: “Well, I’d hate to have someone pass out from all the blowing.”

Have No Old Faithful In Humanity

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(My family and I go to visit my aunt and uncle in West Yellowstone, Montana, which is about an hour north of Yellowstone National Park. There are painted bison statues around town that are been part of a contest. My mom and I stop at a tourist information center.)

Mom: “Excuse me; do you have a map of where the buffalo are?”

Employee: “Oh, they’re all over the park. You just have to drive around and keep an eye out for them.”

Mom: “…No, the painted ones around town.”

Employee: “Oh! Yes, I do have a map of those.”

Mom: “Do people seriously ask you that?”

Employee: “Yes. They also ask when Old Faithful is turned on and when the bears are let out.”

The Day Isn’t The Only Thing That Is Off

| Tamaulipas, México | Extra Stupid

(I’m answering the phones and redirecting calls to the appropriate areas of the store.)

Caller: “Hey, can I talk to [Name]?”

Me: “Just a minute. Can I have your name, please?”

Caller: “…Er, tell him it’s… John.”

Me: “Just a minute, please.”

(I call to the area and they tell me it’s his day off, I get back to the caller.)

Me: “I’m sorry but [Name] didn’t come in today.”

Caller: “Come in where? What?”

Me: “It’s his day off. He won’t be here today.”

Caller: “Day off? From what?”

(As I’m about to answer, I hear someone in the background.)

Background Voice On Call: “THEY ARE SAYING HE DIDN’T GO TO WORK TODAY, DUMBA**!”

(The line disconnects.)

He Might Need A Smart Car

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

(A customer is waiting in line while I take care of renting a car for another customer. It takes about five minutes, and just as I am finishing up with him, the guy in line throws up his hands in frustration.)

Customer: “Ugh, this is taking forever! This isn’t that difficult, sweetheart!”

Me: “Be right with you. I’m almost done.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a premium member. I’m supposed to pick out my car and not even deal with you. Why the hell do I have to wait here?”

Me: “Oh, the premium members just go downstairs to pick out a car. You actually don’t have to wait for me.”

Customer: “It’d be nice if you had a f****** sign! Way to waste my time!”

Me: “Sir, you’re standing right next to a giant sign that says what I just told you.”

(Customer looks to his right, where there is indeed a giant, standing sign at eye level.)

Customer: “Oh, bet you think you’re so smart.” *stomps off*

Me: “That’s not exactly what I was thinking…”

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