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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Can’t Use That Trick In The Book

| KS, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am working at my town’s library over the summer when the phone rings. I don’t normally answer the phone because they often need something done on the computer, which as a part-timer I don’t use, but since my superior isn’t around, I answer it.)

Me: “[Town]’s Public Library, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. I would like to return a book.”

Me: “Okay, then, there’s two ways you can do that: you can bring it in while we’re open and we can check it in then or you can come and put it in the drop-box bin which we will check it in as soon as we clear it.”

Caller: “Can’t I just tell you the name and you could check it in now?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We have to have the book to check it in.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous! I have the book right here so you can check it in!”

Me: “No, ma’am. The book has to be back here at the library for me to be able to check it in.”

Caller: “You lazy workers, making me bring the book there when you could just check it in from here!” *click*

(At this time my supervisor comes back.)

Supervisor: “Were you just on the phone?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and I’m am never answering that thing again!”

No Rush, Go Break A Leg!

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(My mom’s friend is a receptionist at a small medical clinic. When you call them, there is a message instructing you to call 911 or go to the emergency room immediately if this is an emergency, a fact which is greatly emphasized since some people tend to ignore that, followed by about two minutes of information in the event that it isn’t. My mom’s friend is talking to a patient when the phone rings and she can’t answer immediately.)

Friend: *into the phone* “Hello, please hold for a moment.”

Caller: “Okay, take your time. It’s not an emergency.”

(Five minutes later, she finally finishes talking and picks the phone back up.)

Friend: “[Medical Clinic], how may I help you?”

Caller: “So, my son just got hit by a car while crossing the street. He’s not dead, but he’s lying on the ground bleeding and I think his leg is broken. What do you think I should do?”

A One-Sided Argument

| USA | At The Checkout, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Your total is $15.50.”

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands me a $50 bill*

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t accept this. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “What? Why not?!”

Me: “It’s fake.”

Customer: “No it’s not!”

Me: “It’s only printed on one side…”

Customer: “That’s how they make them now!”

Me: *buzzing security* “Sir, I can assure you that is not at all how ‘they’ make $50 bills.”

Customer: “Do your pen thing! Watch. When it shows up real, you’ll feel stupid.”

Me: *facepalm* “Sure, let’s try the counterfeit pen.” *I make a mark on the fake bill and it turns black* “See? You printed it out on computer paper.”

Customer: “Well… I… THAT’S JUST HOW THEY MAKE THEM NOW!”

(The customer was soon picked up by security who held him until the police showed up. I don’t know what happened to him after that.)