icon_extrastupid

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Getting Tired Of Your Hangups

| Germany | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(The international call code for Germany is 0049. My own personal area code starts with 049. A lot of businesses that have international customers will call me.)

Me: “[My Name].”

Caller: “Yes, I’m calling about a problem with my order of [Product]. Can I—”

Me: “—Sorry to interrupt, but you have the wrong number. This is a private household.”

Caller: *hangs up*

(A few minutes later, the phone rings again. I see the same number flash in the display.)

Me: “[My Name].”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m calling about my order—”

Me: “You have the wrong number. This isn’t [Retail Place].”

Caller: *hangs up before I can tell him how to reach the right place*

(Moments later, my phone rings again. Same number.)

Me: *sighing* “[My Name].”

Caller: *hangs up*

(This continues three more times. Then the phone rings again.)

Me: “DON’T HANG UP THE D*** PHONE AGAIN!”

Caller: “Uh… what?”

Me: “You’re trying to reach [Retail Place], but you keep getting me, right? Didn’t it occur to you that this is obviously the wrong number? And if it’s obviously not working, why do you keep calling and then hanging up before giving me a chance to say anything?”

Caller: “Well, uh. This is the number on the website and—”

Me: “No, it’s not.”

Caller: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Read it out to me.”

Caller: “+49 [rest of number].”

Me: “Look, the 49 is the code for Germany. For people calling from other countries. You need to leave it out when you dial or your phone will convert it to a regular phone number and you end up back here. Again.”

Caller: “But this is the number on the website.”

Me: “Look, we could play this game all afternoon, but I have better things to do and I’m sure you want your order sorted out at some point today. So how about this: you dial WITHOUT the 49 and if you still end up calling me again, I will personally drive the 500 km to [Retail Store] and make sure they fix your order.”

Caller: *does not sound convinced* “Well. I suppose…” *hangs up*

(Lo and behold, it must have worked because my afternoon was a lot calmer after that. It’s a family joke by now that we should bill [Retail Store] for dealing with their customers all the time.)

Can’t Use That Trick In The Book

| KS, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am working at my town’s library over the summer when the phone rings. I don’t normally answer the phone because they often need something done on the computer, which as a part-timer I don’t use, but since my superior isn’t around, I answer it.)

Me: “[Town]’s Public Library, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello. I would like to return a book.”

Me: “Okay, then, there’s two ways you can do that: you can bring it in while we’re open and we can check it in then or you can come and put it in the drop-box bin which we will check it in as soon as we clear it.”

Caller: “Can’t I just tell you the name and you could check it in now?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We have to have the book to check it in.”

Caller: “That’s ridiculous! I have the book right here so you can check it in!”

Me: “No, ma’am. The book has to be back here at the library for me to be able to check it in.”

Caller: “You lazy workers, making me bring the book there when you could just check it in from here!” *click*

(At this time my supervisor comes back.)

Supervisor: “Were you just on the phone?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and I’m am never answering that thing again!”

No Rush, Go Break A Leg!

| PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(My mom’s friend is a receptionist at a small medical clinic. When you call them, there is a message instructing you to call 911 or go to the emergency room immediately if this is an emergency, a fact which is greatly emphasized since some people tend to ignore that, followed by about two minutes of information in the event that it isn’t. My mom’s friend is talking to a patient when the phone rings and she can’t answer immediately.)

Friend: *into the phone* “Hello, please hold for a moment.”

Caller: “Okay, take your time. It’s not an emergency.”

(Five minutes later, she finally finishes talking and picks the phone back up.)

Friend: “[Medical Clinic], how may I help you?”

Caller: “So, my son just got hit by a car while crossing the street. He’s not dead, but he’s lying on the ground bleeding and I think his leg is broken. What do you think I should do?”