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Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Cash Back Flack

| New Orleans, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(I am a cashier at a local grocery store. When paying with a debit card, customers can choose to get cash back from their checking account.)

Customer: *absent-mindedly clicks through the buttons on the electronic payment keypad*

Me: “All right, here’s your $50 cash back.”

Customer: “What? I didn’t ask for that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am. You were asked if you wanted cash back, pressed yes, then the $50 amount.”

Customer: “No, I didn’t! I just kept pressing ‘yes!'”

Me: “Well, the “yes” button on the first screen becomes the “yes” button for cash back, then the $50 button for the amount. It’s an easy mistake to make if you’re just pressing it over and over.”

(I am still attempting to hand her the $50 she pulled out.)

Customer: “Well, I don’t want that!”

Me: “I HAVE to give it to you, ma’am. It’s your money from your account. I can’t keep it.”

Customer: “Well, just put it back in my account!”

Me: “That’s not how cash back works…”

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19

| Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(My company issues computers to all of its field employees. I work in the corporate office, troubleshooting various issues. All users have one of several model laptops and all have the same operating system.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] IT support. How may I help you?”

User: “Yes, I can’t get my emails. The Internet just says it can’t display the webpage.”

Me: “Okay, well, let’s see what we can do about that. Are you connected to the Internet?”

User: “How would I know?”

(I walk her through finding the list of connections next to the date and time.)

User: “It says no connections.”

Me: “Oh, okay, well, we need to get on one before the Internet will work. Do you have service bars showing on your broadband card to connect there?”

User: “No, I live in the country and can’t get a signal.”

Me: “Okay, do you have home wifi?”

User: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you connect to that?”

User: “I don’t know; what is my home wifi?”

Me: “It’ll show up on that list of possible connections.”

User: “There are [names off the three networks showing]. Which one is mine?”

Me: “I don’t know, ma’am… You or your Internet provider would have set it up.”

(She manages to find it written down on some papers nearby.)

User: “Okay, it wants a password. What’s my password?”

Me: “Ma’am, that is something you set up with your Internet provider. You don’t have it written down?”

User: “No, can you reset it for me?”

Related:
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 17
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 16

Gloating About Gluten

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m the manager of a lingerie store. I’m working out the back when I overhear a conversation between my employee and a posh-looking customer in her 40s.)

Employee: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a gluten free bra. It has to be gluten free.”

Employee: “Uhh. I’m sorry ma’am but we don’t stock gluten free garments. There’s actually not—”

Customer: “Don’t even try to tell me that you don’t have any. I know you have them. It says so on your website. You just don’t have them on display.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I’ve actually never heard of gluten free clothing before and I can assure you that we do not stock any.”

Customer: “You haven’t heard of them? How can you work in this store and not know your own stock? Go and get the manager. Stupid girl.”

(I am just about to lose my cool and order the woman out of the store when I have a better idea. Grabbing a box of bras, I make my way to the front desk.)

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am. My employee has informed me you wish to purchase one of our new gluten free garments. I’m sorry she wasn’t aware that we sell them. They’re usually reserved for online sale only.”

Customer: “Well, you need to train your staff better. Knowledge is power, you know.”

Me: “I guess you’re pretty lucky you’re in the know, then. These are the gluten free garments but because you’re not buying them online I can’t offer a refund or exchange should you change your mind. I shouldn’t even be selling them to you, but I’ll make an exception just this once.”

(At this point the customer is looking pretty smug.)

Customer: “Finally! I need it in [size].”

Me: “Ok. That will be $50, please.”

Customer: “Oh, but those on the shelf are the same and they’re only $30.”

Me: “Yes, but these are the ‘gluten free’ ones you’ve specifically requested.”

Customer: “Oh, yes. That’s fine, then.”

Me: “Thank you for shopping at [Store]. Have a nice day.”

(After she leaves, my employee, who has been in the back trying to figure out what is going on, comes out.)

Employee: “What just happened?”

Me: “A rude woman who thinks she knows more than my employees just bought us lunch.”